Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

No we made our own terrible mistakes.

You never know Bant you could have a look.

I'm not admitting how old I was in 1986.

Nora, would that be golf jumpers etc. I liked him in haircut 100, I've got the right Nick?

Sorry to lower the tone but twice now in a matter of weeks by different men I've been asked if i squirt! Is there some new porn out at the moment that specialises in that? No one's ever asked me that before and now twice! Is this the next craze to take over bum sex?

It's honestly not that exciting! Yes he's definitely attractive though not nearly as much as C, shaved dark hair, blue eyes, and (of course) he's a builder. So v much what used to be my type, hence how confidently I can predict the outcome .

He's also nearly 10 years younger than me. Which is too young. Even if I was interested, and if he was beyond one encounter!

Velvet, he sound promising. Now you need to get out and explore the possibility. Give him your number, if he asks and don't snog him until you get him out on a date then non of those 1,2, 3's will come true.

Velvet - I misread the first line of your post and thought you were responding to Rainy's previous post. My mistake :)

Rainy - how exactly do you get these requests? Is this out of the blue or people you've been talking to for a few days?

Yes, Scrazy it's the right Nick, floppy blonde hair, Arran sweaters, add a pair of ridiculously tight straight jeans and you've got my eldest. Deary me.

Rainy I would tempted to pretend I had misunderstood until they got annoyed with me and gave up ' Do I squirt ? What with my Cilit Bang ? No, I turn the nozzle because I prefer the foam ' etc etc.

Actually laughed out loud at your last post, Bant

at the Cillit Bang.

Yep, Nick Heyward. Very skinny man.

These are people I've been talking to. The. one I'm having doubts about and the one i cut contact with last week for being too full on about sex. No one has ever asked me that before! I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Blimey Rainy I don't know, are these men who've got in touch with you first or who you've contacted ?

One i contacted first and the other one contacted me.

Bant at my unfortunate x-post!

Rainy it's just some men I'm afraid and a ridiculous sense of entitlement - whether fostered by the whole online dating sweetshop nonsense, or porn or whatever. what I found with OD is these sort of questions (esp on POF) become so commonplace, and are asked so matter of factly it actually messes up your boundaries, and you end up thinking you should respond/engage, when in fact you just need to tell them to get to the far side of fuck.

It's nothing you're doing wrong. it just happens, like getting sent cock shots, or requests for naked photos or whatever. it's them, not you!

Rainy - you're not doing anything wrong. Rule no 1, I believe, was grow a thick skin. Block and delete. Your radar will get better at weeding out the morons, of which there are many.

You've done nothing wrong, it's just you're an easy target for guys who want to get off on being offensive. Or think that's a reasonable line of conversation. Who knows, for some people it might be.

I think the reason I've done quite well on online dating is that I'm not generally a tosspot who'll ask questions like that or send knobshots. And I can spell.

I think the trick is to laugh at tossers like that and then block them, any request or question or comment that strikes you as overfamiliar, bin them, those kind of people will only get more and more offensive. You want someone who treats you with respect.

Rainy block and delete him. No way should any man be asking you that kind of stuff, he's an arse.

It's just the question being asked twice by two different men. Not something anyone has ever wanted to know about me. It just seems a strange co incidence.

I'm still laughing at the cross post.

Thank goodness for this thread. Otherwise, like Velvet says it would be so easy for boundaries to shift, you'd end up thinking that was normal, which is isn't.

Rainy is this the one who was nice earlier?

Blimey, I do get a bit shocked by that kind of thing. Apart from that bloke I saw last week who wouldn't give over with the rude texting, I honestly don't think I've ever had any of this type of nonsense. I have a lot of blokes talking to me about cycling and camping and which primary school is best and it can be difficult to move them on to anything even vaguely flirtatious. Even the one liners are polite!

Now I think I must come across as either very straight-laced or a bit intimidating.

There must be a happy medium somewhere!

My theory on this is either:

1. These are blokes who basically don't give a toss and will ask offensive questions or send cockshots in the same way they'd shout at attractive women across the street

2. They're men new to online dating who are so overwhelmed with the array of attractive women on display that they'll think they have a chance at all of them and want to weed them out (she likes X, doesn't like Y, I'll bin her and move on to the next one)

3. They're fuckwits who think that's what passes for wooing. I like wooing. It's a very old-fashioned term and sometimes make me think of the noises ghosts make in the night (having read lullabyhullabaloo too many times to my DC) but maybe they think if they show they're interested in sex then that's enough to get the object of their desire interested, as that's pretty much the way it works for us.

We can be cooking a meal, writing a sonnet, fixing the engine on a 747 but if a woman asks us about sex we lose all ability to think about anything other than sex. Some of us, anyway (so as to not overgeneralise)

OWW, I've never had questions like this via OD either. Think I got one cock shot which was sent via POF and I was amazed...... that he got it past the censors. Had a vid sent from an ex colleague once but that was because I said he could send it. I was in on it as in a silly mood and my friend was encouraging me.

All other correspondence has been vanilla and normal.

To be fair, some men seem to lose any ability to think when confronted by a cleavage, it's almost like they're hypnotised, even quite sensible men.