Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

[WarmFuzzyFun]

Sounds like one of those farces that was on in the late 70's Lube lots of bed hopping and misunderstanding, to use the tabloid speak 'Three In A Bed Romp'

[lubeybooby]

Nooo there'll be none of that malarkey!

I think I have a plan. A cunning one. It's ok, as you were.

[MirandaWest]

Is snowing. Only gently so far but I think it might do it more in Leeds

Am clearing out car which is A Tip

[lubeybooby]

Snowing here too... ffs, saw mention of it being like last week again on one of OYBBK's weather threads

[StellaBrillante]

WFF you must be kidding, right? Over three years for me...yep, I am truly a desperate woman now!

Miranda that's so lovely, have a wonderful time!

I need to fully focus on my assignments as I'm thinking too much about the lecturer situation, trying to half-guess...he's done and said lovely things but still comes down to the fact that I don't know the guy so for now I just want a snog, really!

Have a fab week everyone!

[Snapespeare]

very quick placemark.

[OhWesternWind]

WFF yep, that's kind of the idea, although might just stick with getting next to rather than under for the moment. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it though, does it?

I have a little smidgen of excitement about Mr Veggie! It is lovely to have someone that actually actively wants to see me, although I know it might not last once we've actually met. I quite like the look of him and his profile and messages are nice, not earth-shattering, but nice and normal and pleasant. Which I think it what I need at the moment.

He's actually someone I almost arranged to meet a good while ago, then I did the disappearing act on him when the other stuff started, but I got in contact again and said I'd quite understand if he didn't want to bother, but he is still keen. We will see!

[Scrazy]

Hello, place marking. Lubey, hope you can sort it out this weekend, sound exciting.

Looking forward to hearing how the date goes OWW and Ike, get yours sorted. It's time I got out on one so might suggest a time and place.

[MsCellophane]

Hello new thread

I am supposed to have a date tonight with white van man, spoke last night all good, just text to say started a cold - typical dating behaviour

I am little bit excited with myself though. I am a 30-40 a day smoker and have been since I was 13. I have never managed to quit, even in pregnancy. I have tried patches, gum, inhalers, hypnosis, accupuncture, tablets from the dr

So I bought an ecig - I am trying to go 2 hours between real fags and am doing it!!!! 200 fags last me 5 days usually - I have only used 100 since last thurs but didn't start ecig til saturday, I opened a pack on sunday night and still have 3 left!! I am so proud of myself. Early days but I am hopeful I can ditch the marlboro and gradually reduce the strength of nicotine

[OhWesternWind]

Lubey your weekend sounds fun but with a lot of possible pitfalls! Hope you have a cunning plan.

MsC - brilliant, well done with the ecigs. Do you think White Van Man is going to cancel? Hope it all works out okay.

[MirandaWest]

Flight appears to have landed at Heathrow :)

[OhWesternWind]

Ooooh not long to go Miranda!

[lulubellaboozle]

place marking and

Lubey sounds fun and confusing! hope you get what you want pretty certain you will

Miranda not long now, enjoy the romantic reunion try to block out 18 year old DS rolling his eyes

OWW Mr Veggie sounds promising, even if it comes to nothing it is a good distraction and something to look forward to, good for you. If it does come to something, can he be renamed please? Mr Veggie conjurs up images of weirdly and rudely shaped vegetables in a sort of Esther Rantzen way lulu shows her age now

[Scrazy]

Mrs C, well done on starting to address the smoking. I don't know how people manage to smoke so many in a day when you have to smoke outside. I gave up then stupidly started again. I go to the door as I don't want to smoke inside and this cold weather is helping me cut down.

[pixiebelle123]

Hello new thread!

Miranda - have fun at the reunion!

OWW - Well done for setting up a date so quickly! I think it's great that you're getting back out there on the dating scene, fingers crossed you'll have lots of fun with Mr Veggie.

I am very confused by my pof man, I'm not sure if we're breaking up or not. He says he misses me when we're not together but when he's here it's like he can't be bothered with me at all and doesn't seem excited to see me. He has a very stressful job which he hates and takes up a lot of his time, but I'd really like the time we have together to be more special. He is also quite screwed up with guilt over his DCs, he misses them a lot as he only gets to see them once a fortnight. I think being around my DCs makes the guilt worse.

We are going away for Easter weekend, I think it's going to be make or break. I really like this guy but there are quite a few red flags now and I'm wondering if I'm sticking with it because I don't want to be alone. Big sigh!

[OhWesternWind]

Lulu - hope he has some rudely- (but not weirdly-) shaped somethings, but vegetables were not quite what I had in mind . . . Will think of a new name if he lasts for more than one date.

Just had some great advice from a male friend which I will pass on as I think it's good.

There are two difficult things about making a decision - 1) making the decision and 2) stopping making the decision once it's made.

Quite right. It serves me right for saying his relationship advice was on a par with my ten year old dd's (who actually told me on Sunday that there were plenty more fish in the sea. How little she knows . . .).

[lulubellaboozle]

Pixie, I think the question I would ask yourself, and it goes back to WFF's rules - If it's not fun, stop. Regardless of whether he says he misses you when you are not together. Do YOU enjoy being with him, is it fun? you can't fix his problems, guilt, stress etc, you can only fix/change what does or doesn't work for you.

[KirstyWirsty]

Looking for your advice dear hive

I bumped into a guy from work (MrHungarian) this morning .. I find him REALLY attractive .. And I think he likes me too .. However he works in MrCheeky's team (although he is still suspended /off sick )

At the department Night out ( the one in January where MrCheeky's buggered off and left me) I was dancing with MrHungarian after MrCheeky had left and he said 'the boss isn't going to like this' and then pretty much stayed away

Should I pursue or leave it? The frisson I got this morning indeed confirms that I did not fancy MrFixit

[OhWesternWind]

Oh Pixie I don't want to put a downer on things and be the voice of doom, but there are some things that are really resonating with me because of the nonsense I've been through recently with LM. If he's not treating you right, then I think the thing to do is first of all talk to him about it and say clearly what you want from the relationship and see what he says. And if he says the right things, put a time limit on it in your mind for this to translate into action. If he doesn't say the right things, or subsequently actually do them, you know what you need to do.

What you are wanting (someone who is really into you and actively wants to spend time with you) is nothing unusual or outrageous. Don't be like me and settle for the crumbs!

It's not up to you to sort out his guilt issues about his children or his problems with work. You can be supportive but he is the one that has to take the action to sort his own life out. He sounds very like LM in that he needs to get his life in order and resolve his issues before he's ready for a proper, adult (emotionally adult as well as sexually!) relationship with someone like you. This is a hard thing to realise but it is better than wasting your time on someone who is emotionally unavailable and won't give you what you want and need.

I don't like being alone either, but it is better than turning yourself inside out with stress about a relationship that is not right and is also giving you mixed messages. This all sounds so familiar and I know how awful it is to go through and how bad it can make you feel.

If you want to PM me about any of this then please do if you think I can help at all.

Kirsty is Mr Cheeky his boss? And how likely is it that Mr Cheeky will be back at work? It could be a bit awkward, but there's no harm in having a coffee/drink with him and seeing what happens!

[smoothieooo]

Morning all.

Just de-lurking briefly to wave. I may have a 3rd date lined up. Nice guy, a weird combination of geeky/cool. Complicated home situation (separated for a year but has only just moved out of family home). Apparently.

So why is it that after months of being fairly indifferent, I'm missing my STBexH terribly? Just bloody ridiculous. I know the answer is to lay off the dating altogether until I'm completely ready. Pah.

[KirstyWirsty]

OWW yes MrCheeky is his boss .. I have no idea if he will be returning to work .. Probably best waiting to see what happens there first I suppose .. I actually feel all quite shaken up after this morning though .. Guess the rabbit isn't really doing the trick and I'm I. The same boat as lubey

[OhWesternWind]

Yep Kirsty could be a bit awkward if Mr Cheeky does come back, but on the other hand there is no reason you should put your life on hold in case it hurts his feelings.

Smoothie I think these feelings can pop up unexpectedly every now and again for a long, long time. If you are indifferent to him most of the time, that's great, and I think that this is probably just a temporary blip and will go away again soon.

[48howdidthathappen]

I am back. Got what I expected Hope you all gets yours soon.

OWW You are brilliant! Pixie Listen. She knows.

Kirsty Hmm. Think I would wait.

Bit odd over Mr R&Rs last night. His house is normally a bit of a health hazard.
It was clean and tidy

Also think he was trying to tell me loved me in a round the houses way. Honestly not bothered if he does or not. It is good.

[48howdidthathappen]

Well done mrs c I got an ecig weeks ago. Gonna give it a go.

[pixiebelle123]

I think I know deep down that this relationship is doomed! Thank you OWW and Lulu, very wise words indeed! I don't think I can even talk to him about how I feel without him getting irritated, which in itself is a huge problem. The trouble is I really do like this guy and think it could be fabulous but I think we are both a bit screwed up still from our previous relationships. I feel like I am settling for crumbs at the moment - why has my self respect abandoned me?! I am going to have this weekend away with him and then talk to him next week.

Kirsty - it sounds complicated! However, if Mr Hungarian doesn't mind taking on the boss then go for it - life goes on and all that!

Smoothie - I still miss my STBexH at times but I know there's no going back. I think it's normal to feel this way after spending so long with someone even if he was a total fuckwit