Oh Pixie I don't want to put a downer on things and be the voice of doom, but there are some things that are really resonating with me because of the nonsense I've been through recently with LM. If he's not treating you right, then I think the thing to do is first of all talk to him about it and say clearly what you want from the relationship and see what he says. And if he says the right things, put a time limit on it in your mind for this to translate into action. If he doesn't say the right things, or subsequently actually do them, you know what you need to do.
What you are wanting (someone who is really into you and actively wants to spend time with you) is nothing unusual or outrageous. Don't be like me and settle for the crumbs!
It's not up to you to sort out his guilt issues about his children or his problems with work. You can be supportive but he is the one that has to take the action to sort his own life out. He sounds very like LM in that he needs to get his life in order and resolve his issues before he's ready for a proper, adult (emotionally adult as well as sexually!) relationship with someone like you. This is a hard thing to realise but it is better than wasting your time on someone who is emotionally unavailable and won't give you what you want and need.
I don't like being alone either, but it is better than turning yourself inside out with stress about a relationship that is not right and is also giving you mixed messages. This all sounds so familiar and I know how awful it is to go through and how bad it can make you feel.
If you want to PM me about any of this then please do if you think I can help at all.
Kirsty is Mr Cheeky his boss? And how likely is it that Mr Cheeky will be back at work? It could be a bit awkward, but there's no harm in having a coffee/drink with him and seeing what happens!