Dating thread number 48 :-)

[MirandaWest]

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

Miranda that will be at 5.30 am then

And the clocks go forward tonight.....

48 hope all is going ok.

Miranda how sweet re Easter Egg hunt. I tried to do one for the DSs once. They got bored after 5 mins. Certainly they never thought of doing one for me!

Snape I do understand what you, and everyone, is getting at. To someone else, without my history, I might well advise the same thing. But I really don't want to go on other dates, not just out of some (possibly misplaced) loyalty to C, but because I know what it will involve, and how awful it will be. I could put a profile on POF tonight, I'd get 30 or 40 messages. Maybe 5 (being optimistic) worth replying to, but at best I'd get one date out of it, with a bloke who saw me purely as a one-off shag -and who had no intention of ever seeing me again. Because to 99.9% of men that's ALL I am, they fancy me, but they never ever want to date me. And it's not like they don't want relationships, lots of them now have girlfriends. They just don't consider me relationship material. Since I met C it's the first time in years I haven't felt like a complete freak, or that there's something wrong with me. If I went back to OD I'd be feeling like that again inside a week.

Velvet, what a heartfelt honest post from you. I can relate to it and you are saying that crumbs are better than nothing. I really feel for you because I feel this way too. It's OK for other people to say you deserve more etc, but they don't live our life. I was told 25 years ago that I would meet someone else, hey I didn't. x

Also, if those little crumbs make you smile then go with it. Much better than ending up washing someones sweaty socks and dealing with their baggage because that is what a 'relationship' is.

Can you tell I'm pissed and missing my last ex which I am because he was great and I cannot deny this much longer

Wonder how 48s evening went...

Arf at I still maintain that I'd end up throttling him if things went differently, so I kind of hang on to that one. As we do...

Yes 48 its almost midnight

Oh these posts have made me so very sad Velvet and Scrazy. Please believe that you're worth more than the crumbs.

I have no idea if I'll meet someone else but I know how soul-destroying it was trying to convince myself I was happy with the crumbs and shouldn't expect too much. It was so bad for me and did not do my mental health and self-esteem any good at all.

Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn, and I know this kind of thing is so easy to say, but we all of us deserve a relationship with someone who actively wants to be with us, values us and appreciates us, and we're selling ourselves short if we settle for less.

OWW, that's fine I was just saying if something makes you smile then it's not a bad thing is it?

What I am trying to say that if you get a text of someone, then look at your reaction to said text/phone call/email. If your face breaks into a massive smile then you know. He is the one you like. You can settle for someone else but I think this is telling!

It's the smiling to sadness/whittling/feeling crap ratio that's important though. Forget the smiles, I had a huge great grin as soon as I even saw LM and had the best time with him when I actually saw him, but I was being fobbed off and it wasn't enough.

But I know, that's just me and thank goodness we're all different.

Come on 48!!

Yes 48 I really should go to sleep..

Smiling is good so much better than meh meh, but we need to give them a chance because they seem nice.

Scrazy, it's hard isn't it. I do want a relationship though, I hope it may happen with C. It may not but I hope it might eventually.

Western it's not about what we do or don't deserve though, life doesn't work like that. As I said, generally men are never interested in me beyond a one off shag, that seems to be the way it is. C is one exception, that it took me 4 long years to find. And honestly my life is hugely better since I met him. I'd be an idiot to give that up to put up with more crap, it's not like I'm passing up something better because that really isn't waiting out there for me, OD has made that pretty clear. I'm sure for most people that wouldn't be the case, but that's how it is for me.

That sounds a bit depressed and sad of me, I'm not really, I accepted a while back that I'm lacking whatever 'it' is that other women have that gets you a relationship with men...until/unless I find out what that is not much I can do, so no point being sad over it :)

So where is 48? I can't sleep as feeling queasy which am hoping is excitement about the christening tomorrow and not the start of some sort of bug which means I won't be able to go

It's very hard to find a relationship with someone. It might be easier for some of us for whatever reason, looks, figure etc. I think that we have around 7 chances to fall in love in our lives. Think I've exhausted mine now. We cannot fall in love with everyone or it would be meaningless.

I am back. He loves me. Oh fuck!!!!!

Hello 48 :)

More importantly how do you feel about him? And what happened during your evening?

48 how do you feel, because this is important!

It was great to see him. If it wasn't for Mr R&R I would take up where we left off. We just talked in the pub. Time flew past.

He said if I ever break up with mr r&r to get in touch. He will be there.

Good, boundaries have been set in place. 48.

Are you going to stay in touch with him?

Did he love you before he left? If he didn't say it then why not, or whilst he was away? I can't remember why he went, to see it or work?