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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread number 48 :-)

999 replies

MirandaWest · 25/03/2013 23:36

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome :)

OP posts:
48howdidthathappen · 30/03/2013 11:57

Yes Juliette I told Mr R&R that I would be meeting up with Mr OZ at some point.

Just bad timing I guess.

48howdidthathappen · 30/03/2013 12:10

Oh I purchased new underwear online this morning with Mr R&R in mind. So I am pretty sure he is the one for me Smile

KinNora · 30/03/2013 12:36

48 I agree wholeheartedly with Juliette, you need to be honest with Mr R&R, if you tell him about meeting Mr Oz when he comes back, he will feel dreadful. ( Maybe soften the blow with news of the new underwear you've bought for your joint shenanigans ).

Green one photo wouldn't put me off in the slightest, I do tend to take more notice of the way the man behaves/talks to me anyway, I find that more attractive.

Velvet I refer the honourable thread member to No 5 in The Dating Rules - 'if it's not fun, stop' and the addendum I've made for my own purposes, 'if you're spending all your time fretting about what he wants/thinks/means, stop' .

I know how much you like him and how well you get on but personally I think I would be keeping him on for monthly fun, whilst casting a discreet eye around for other prospects.

JulietteMontague · 30/03/2013 12:37

48 ah, buying underwear with a certain man inundated whilst you wear it is a dead cert Grin.

I am gloomy this morning as in what am I doing with my life Confused so off to the gym.

Pomegranatenoir · 30/03/2013 12:49

velvet is c really worth your effort? The good times should massively outweigh the bad when you are with someone and the scales seem to be tipped massively the other way with c. I'm not sure I could make do with all the angst for a few nice moments. I know you like him but there has to come a point (and I am not saying it is now at all) where you decide to pursue something that you actually want which in your case I presume is a loving relationship. C has had almost 5 months now to step up and he hasn't. You deserve more from your free time than worrying when he will text you or arrange a date. It feels torturous. Sorry if I sound harsh I just don't like reading that you are upset about him when you have explained to him that his actions cause you worry. Shouldn't be this difficult and if it is then it probably isn't right.

48 I am an upfront type of person so I would tell r&r but defo soften the blow with details of your new underwear!

oww you are an inspiration. Keep up the good work - love how you are hungry for a loaf not just some poxy, stale crumbs!!

juliet don't be gloomy. Gym will be a good remedy (or so I am led to believe - its been years since I have been in one!!)

I will retire again for a while. Sorry if I have offended

daddyspence · 30/03/2013 12:53

hi everyone, hope everyone is ok and having a nice day.

So i had a really good time last night we went to a few nice bars and was chatting away to some colleagues. Theyve invited me onto there 6 a side football team so im pleased about that. It will keep me busy one night a week.

I made a point of chatting to people not in our group aswell got chatting to a lovely couple of ladies at the bar one of them offered me there number but i made it clear i wasnt quite ready for dating yet. The lads from work tried to take me to a strip club but i politely declined and decided to come home at a decent hour.

KinNora · 30/03/2013 12:54

( you might want to ignore my advice anyway, I think the lack of nookie has addled my brain. I think I shagged Mr Software in a dream last night. God help me if the man can kiss to an acceptable standard )

Winefiend · 30/03/2013 12:58

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daddyspence · 30/03/2013 13:04

wine yeah its done me the world of good.

it just felt really nice getting out there and meeting people.

Winefiend · 30/03/2013 13:08

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daddyspence · 30/03/2013 13:15

yeah it is, you should try it sometime it feels much more relaxed. I cant understand how any of you lot are single youve all be so nice to me

Winefiend · 30/03/2013 13:18

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daddyspence · 30/03/2013 13:27

its never easy if your not over your ex. Im still coming to terms with my split, i dont know it is easier or harder that she has moved on so quick.

i just know when i do feel ready i wont be rushing anything but im keeping positive i love the experience of first meeting someone all the excitement etc

Winefiend · 30/03/2013 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winefiend · 30/03/2013 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

48howdidthathappen · 30/03/2013 13:45

I have told him. He asked where we are meeting. Told him pub. He said "have a nice time". He didn't mention underwear.

Seemed his normal jokey self. Good Smile

Bant · 30/03/2013 13:50

spence it took me 6 months before I was ready to start dipping my toe in, that was 6 months ago.
Mind you, it was a mutual split in my case.

Just get used to living by your own schedule and rules again. You've got to be happy with your own life before you can expect someone else to be happy with you.

Singledom can be great, so can relationships. I enjoyed one, while looking for the other.

Plus I get to dunk biscuits in my coffee without hearing a 'tut' :)

48howdidthathappen · 30/03/2013 13:53

Is there another way to have biscuits Confused

daddyspence · 30/03/2013 13:53

bant i dont know how long it will take im just taking it one day at a time. I think it will be a while before i look for a full blown relationship i think being single is a good option for a while

VelvetSpoon · 30/03/2013 13:57

I don't know about C. I can see what you're all saying BUT on the other hand I'm not quite ready to give it up just yet - because I do like him very much. Also I do (despite how it may seem) spend a lot less time fretting over him, proportionately, than I have over men in the past, and that for me is good. He is lovely, I enjoy spending time with him, and we are still just dating, it's not a relationship yet. I do understand he is scared of getting involved (and I think this is partly why I don't see him as frequently as I might...because if we are seeing each other once a week then it is really a relationship) and I get where he is coming from, he has had 3 relationships in his adult life and now nearly 20 years on, is back living with his parents, like a teenager, with nothing (bar his children) to show for it. His fear is getting involved with someone me and in 5 or 6 years or however long, ending up in the same position, although worse because then he'd be in his early 40s.

Also I finished things with someone who couldn't give me what I wanted once before, because I thought I would be happier with someone else. And the result of that was spending the next 4 years going on date after date, with men who thought I was nothing, and never wanted to see me again. And it went on and on like that until C came along. I can't face going through that constant, unremitting rejection again, and I'd rather be where I am than have to put myself through it.

48howdidthathappen · 30/03/2013 14:11

Spence I ended my LTR. It was 3 months before I saw someone else and even then I wasn't really looking, it just happened.

My ex has been single the whole time, getting on for a year. He has never known about any of my relationships. Its my business. He does have a full social life. Says he doesn't want a relationship of any sort. I would love him to meet someone else.

48howdidthathappen · 30/03/2013 14:13

I really should get dressed Blush

ike1 · 30/03/2013 14:42

Heh, heh, Bant thinkin of your ex Mrs tuttin at your FILTHY biscuit dippin antics....shit like that makes me think it is best to live alone. Just smashed a bottle of vino by accident ffs! Wine all over the neighbourhood easter hunt eggs....great!! Like I havent got a bad enough rep already...

daddyspence · 30/03/2013 14:49

even though i already miss having that special someone to share things with im definitley make the most of being single.

It looks like childcare is going to be split 50/50 so im happy i will still get plenty of time with my son but on the nights when hes with my wife im going to enjoy the time to myself. Im signing up to a gym next week so that will keep me busy.

But any tips you ladies want to throw my way i will be very grateful for

daddyspence · 30/03/2013 14:50

ps is there a way to change my screenname? i didnt plan on staying on the board after my first post and it just looks a little creepy lol

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