Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So after 14 years together, 12 years married and 3 dcs he lobs this out of left field ...

235 replies

SimoneDeBeaver · 21/03/2013 20:20

He'll be back late because he's going to a Freemason's dinner.

God I don't even know which bloody emoticon to put, as I don't know whether to laugh hysterically, cry or blow up.

This is a man who has always been fun, kind, thoughtful, supportive, dare I say it, a feminist. And he cannot seem to understand why this has left me feeling extremely unnerved. (mainly because I'm not sure what it is and why it is)

I mean, what do they DO? I know they do lots of charidee work, but we already give all we can afford, volunteer a lot, involved in church ... I mean, FTLOG why does he need to join what seems to me a misogynist, secretive, frankly rather silly old-boys club?

Aaaaargh!!

OP posts:
freddiemisagreatshag · 21/03/2013 21:53

I am only aware of one occasion that rules were bent to ensure an outcome that was what a lodge member wanted. And in the circumstances they were utterly justified. Totally and utterly. And the masons did the right thing

I am sure there are more I don know about. But in the one I do know about I would go side by side with the masons involved any time. They were utterly right.

LittlePushka · 21/03/2013 21:59

The pinnies are very lovely and especially on grown men, who have possibly never thought a person in an apron could be taken seriously Wink

There are special imperceptible handshakes too, so that if you shake hands with another chap you can tell if he is a mason and whether he is lord high chief goat or a lowly ranking horseface grasshopper (or some such...).

Bitdifferent · 21/03/2013 22:00

Freddie my point too about men & women and separate organisations. Don't care if I can't go with DH to masons just like d nephews can't go to guides with their sisters or my dds.

LineRunner · 21/03/2013 22:12

I don't think the guides sit on Planning Committees.

rhondajean · 21/03/2013 22:13

Freddie you are viewed as being Thr same or you are the same?

World of difference.

Original poster
SimoneDeBeaver · 21/03/2013 22:13

RandomMess - interesting that you think it's fundamentally anti-Xian because that would be a deal-breaker for DH. And yes, I can't shake the idea that it must be deeply misogynist.

But like most large groups, there'll be lodges that do lots of good and others that are more you-scratch-my-back.

Freddie I think the term is 'false equivalence' - men have had most of the power and influence for x thousand years, so they should get on and open up their clubs to women, whereas women-only clubs have just been attempting to redress the balance.

I think.

I dunno. It just doesn't sit right with what/who I thought 'we' (dh and I) were.

OP posts:
Original poster
SimoneDeBeaver · 21/03/2013 22:14

oh Line Runner that may be DH's master plan. He's become completely a bit obsessed by the local planners.

OP posts:
badinage · 21/03/2013 22:30

You simply cannot be a feminist if you're a freemason. It's a deeply misogynist organisation that has been linked to sinister corruption at the highest levels.

The Jimmy Savile case, awful and horrendous though it is, has finally woken the world up to how 'charitable works' hide what really goes on and how evil people can escape scrutiny because of their public cloak of being doo-gooders and apparently 'untouchable'.

Freemasonry has been linked to some of the most severe miscarriages of justice, child abuse - and fraud in the public sector.

People joke about the ridiculous men who join it to feel important when they wield no influence in life and others celebrate it for their 'good works'. But dig deeper, do your research and see what its members have been involved in and what fellow members of the brotherhood have covered up on their behalf.

It is an evil that is allowed to flourish because of its secrets and because younger people especially, have no clue about how sinister and corrupt it is.

CoteDAzur · 22/03/2013 08:06

I am amazed that you can hold such strong views about an organisation you clearly know very little about.

scottishmummy · 22/03/2013 08:16

Feminist man.dont make me laugh.how cringey is that,oh my man so right on he's feminist
Freemasons,men drinking and being gits club,were they network and be cliquey
and associated bizarre rituals.just proves you're man is no post modern heroic feminist after all

CoteDAzur · 22/03/2013 08:23

I was thinking of "feminist" as someone who believes in and supports equal rights and opportunities for men and women. Why do you think that can't be a man as well as a woman?

scottishmummy · 22/03/2013 08:31

It's the whole oh my man so right on he's feminist,he even breastfeeds
Can a man be liberal,supportive etc yes.but don't embellish it as hasn't he done well

Fragglewump · 22/03/2013 08:38

Goodness what a hornets nest! My hubby has been involved since invited by a friend in his teens. When we first met I was Intrigued and a bit scared as there is all sorts of guff said about it. He has also dabbled in knights Templar, and rose croix over the years. I asked him loads but was quite disappointed by how dull the reality is. However I do get the excitement for men - the initiation and secrecy is a bit exciting. You have to remember that this is a really old traditional organisation so by default it won't be particularly modern in its wordings etc but that doesn't make the people misogynstic! If they began it today I'm sure any dubious parts would be rewritten. Dh has never had a speeding ticket overturned or any other favours done for him. When he was younger he said it helped with his confidence and public speaking and he loved to chat to the old guys over dinner. They only meet a few times a year and now that he has been grand master or whatever they call it he can't be arsed to go much. Fil and bil are both members to but in different lodges. To be honest a lot of lodges are struggling for members to keep running as the older buggers die off. In summary, bit dull, not sinister, no satanism most of them I've met are genuinely lovely. I'm not a blinkered muppet either I'm sure some lodges are full of pompous corrupt back scratchy nastiness but there are a few bad apples in any organisation. I'm sure at some point your dh will tire of it. My advice would be not to whine at him and let home decide!

TomDudgeon · 22/03/2013 08:54

If I were the op I would be tempted to stir a lot little if my dh joined.
But he wouldn't, as he's far to sensible and has been brought up by a family that manage to do their good works out in the open (though not flaunting them)

VoiceofUnreason · 22/03/2013 08:57

Once upon a time, yes, there was a significant element of the VERY highest Masons that were hugely influential and probably corrupt. But that was well over 100 years ago. These days it REALLY is not much different to the Rotary Club in that, predominently, they meet, have a meal and a chat and do a lot of charity work. I know a LOT of Masons and there really is no more to it than that. Yes they have their 'rituals' but it really is, as someone else side, more a continuation of a long-held history and a sort of glorified version of the Scouts!

An awful lot of rubbish has been written about Freemasonary over the years, including the likelihood that Jack the Ripper was a Mason and other Masons covered it up. Total and utter rubbish but there are still tens of thousands of people who think it's true.

The rituals involved in Freemasonary are no more ridiculous than WIs singing Jerusalem at every jam making session.

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes · 22/03/2013 09:21

I do hope the Freemasons is on it's last legs.

Years ago my parents had been invited out by some friends. Just before they were about to leave they received a phone call saying they were no longer welcome to come because my dad is a Roman Catholic. The event venue was the Freemasons' Hall Shock Hmm

if it's true that they don't allow disabled people to join, that's my DP out too, not that he'd want to ever join such a pathetic organisation. I know a few people who are members (including colleagues and neighbours) and tbh they all tend to be the sort of people who need to join a secret organisation in order to get on in life and they are a bit odd

NeedlesCuties · 22/03/2013 09:40

Lots of stuff on Google about FM, and if you type Freemason into You Tube it brings up lots of odd satanic and occult vids.

As for the 'don't allow disabled people...' thing, basically what that means is that if the man has a disability which means he can't take part in rituals and vows then he can't join. For example, if he has no hands and can't do the handshake, or if he's deaf and can't do the repetition vows etc etc.

Is all a bit tragic.

DrHolmes · 22/03/2013 09:43

Free that is a bit Shock and Hmm.

But! They do provide a lot of money for a lot of things. things you would never dream they'd have contributed to.
Infact they are the second largest donation charity next to the national lottery. So, if it did end, maybe alot of things would dry up. I know they give money to helpt he needy, for community halls, first repsonders in villages etc.
Things you'd think the council have done, infact, the masons have done.

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes · 22/03/2013 09:51

DrHolmes

Their charity work may have impressed people, pre the Jimmy Saville scandal Hmm

kweggie · 22/03/2013 09:55

badinage, I agree.

if Freemasonry is NOT sinister, please tell me why it is SECRET, EXCLUSIVE and SEXIST???????????????

DrHolmes · 22/03/2013 09:56

But is it true they tried to cover up? How do we know?

TomArchersSausage · 22/03/2013 09:59

Cubs for grown upsWink

kweggie · 22/03/2013 10:04

okay then, look at it rationally. Would the teachers at your school let the kids set up a junior branch along the same lines? I think that's a no, don't you?

IMO if people want to do good deeds and raise money for charity, they don't have to swear to keep secrets and cover up misdeeds, do they? They just go ahead and do it.
TomArchersSausage, I'd love to agree.But I don't.

Mintyy · 22/03/2013 10:14

The WHOLE idea of it makes me cringe. If my dh or anyone I am close to revealed they were a freemason I would be utterly horrified.

Secret societies! - wtf? - its like Enid Blyton.

Mintyy · 22/03/2013 10:15

"Its all a bit tragic" completely agree with that.