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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating chat thread! Number 47

999 replies

lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 19:43

Here we go again folks, all dating related chit chat here.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 20/03/2013 21:48

My head is spinning, am going to have a bath and a bit of a think, will be back in a bit. Please carry on without me :)

Ike I've never been to his house, he lives with his parents - which is part of why it's hard to see each other. So there's no way I could say I was coming round to talk, or that he'd believe me if I did say it.

Movingforward123 · 20/03/2013 21:48

Velvet - well done at work, glad that's going well at the moment!

How often do you normally see him? As its defiantly not often enough for you, and he doesn't seem to have good manners as never replies on time and leaves you hanging! I think he's right he is messing you around.

Its a shame as I know you do seem to like him, but without being rude do you really like him? Or do you like him as you had that period bridge where you didn't get past the first date?

And I promise I'm not saying it in a judgey way, I'm saying it from experience as I feel I let guys hang around for too long that don't deserve my time!

hoplittlebunnyhophophop · 20/03/2013 21:49

I will if you want kirsty?

Scattylatte · 20/03/2013 21:49

Aaahhh velvet bollocks. ok he has sent you that text and I'm sure you are both pretty pissed off and upset. I'm not sure how you should reply to make you feel better but I'd be inclined to treat him like he has treated you and dutifully ignore the text for about 2 weeks then casually reply 'who is this?' I suspect your suspicion about his Facebook is spot on and I think he is messing you around by giving you excuses. Sorry and hugs.

Scattylatte · 20/03/2013 21:50

Fab news about your work though. Get that feather out!

JulietteMontague · 20/03/2013 21:53

Velvet so he knows what he ought to do and it's really not that difficult to be considerate. This can't be doing you any good, do you want to bite the bullet and ask him outright or shag everything else in sight whilst you wait until you can see him face to face? If you wait, it could be a while of just not knowing when, never mind what his answer is.

lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 21:57

Velvet I suspect he wants to make you dump him. I'm really sorry but that's what his reply smacks of to me. Cowardliness.

I would reply: Tomorrow then? Quick drink after work?

if that's a no, then Sunday? (or whenever he's dropped his DC back at their mums)

I would get on his case now, basically. His reaction will be telling as to whether he means he is sorry or is just making excuses and waffling and being a coward.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 20/03/2013 21:58

Kirsty I have OKC, pm me if you want to

ike1 · 20/03/2013 22:00

As Lubey suggests and keep looking...no more Ms Patient

KirstyWirsty · 20/03/2013 22:05

velvet I think he probably is trying to goad you into dumping him too .. He doesn't really seem what you want.. You can do better .. And I forgot to say great news on the job .. I'm glad the move to the new job has worked out for you

Next you'll meet a nice man who wants to spend as much time with you as you do with him

OhWesternWind · 20/03/2013 22:07

Sorry Velvet if we're deluging you - don't want you to feel pressured. But I think Lubey's plan is good - drinks tomorrow and then see what he says.

48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 22:21

I would like to wrong, but I do agree Velvet I think C is trying to make you dump him. If I was in your position I would delete his number and move on.

Do you need this bollocks?

Movingforward123 · 20/03/2013 22:21

Also velvet I agree about him maybe wanting you to end things.

If you remember mrworkaholic was treating me badly so I decided to en things! Then we spoke and he ended things because he felt bad and didn't want to hurt me. That was four days before Xmas! And now 3 months later has tried to get in contact.

For once I've done the right thing and bloked him on Facebook and what's app!

ClippedPhoenix · 20/03/2013 22:24

Is there room for one more?

I just rejoined POF and Friends Reunited Dating.

Anyone got any other suggestions?

48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 22:29

For various reasons haven't seen Mr R&R for over a week. He is going to see family in fucking Yorkshire. Again Angry Over easter.

I am going to purchase a rabbit Grin

WarmFuzzyFun · 20/03/2013 22:29

Hi Clipped,

My suggestion is :

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. If it is not fun, stop.
Grin

I enjoy OD, it is nice to talk to and meet new people, sometimes it works sometimes is doesn't, but still it is interesting to get out there and 'carpe diem'Smile

VelvetSpoon · 20/03/2013 22:30

I'm reading, and trying to word a text to C. I can write a 50 page report in an afternoon yet with him I am utterly tonguetied, and have so much and yet so little to say.

I guessed you would all think he's BS, and wants to be dumped.

I do like him, a lot. When I'm with him it's just lovely. Not perfect, not the best ever, but lovely nonetheless.

I do know though that I can't make him like me if he doesn't.

WarmFuzzyFun · 20/03/2013 22:31

Velvet, be kind to yourself, and if you can't do it just now, don't. Take your time and do it when the words flow and you are ready for whatever the outcome is

48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 22:35

As WFF" says Velvet* In your own time. In your own way. ((((hugs))))

lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 22:36

Velvet, I would just keep it simple and sharp - ask about a drink tomorrow asap... no other wording and keep on pretty much like that til you have a day sorted. It's urgent that you talk to him and any other wording for your text can be in person :) and as I said his reactions will be telling. Don't exhaust yourself with a text, just send one quick so he gets it tonight.

That's what I would do anyway

OP posts:
48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 22:36

Excuse typos Wine

OhWesternWind · 20/03/2013 22:37

Velvet just write what comes from the heart. This isn't a time to be over thinking stuff. We'll all be here to hold your hand.

48 very seasonal Grin. How long is he going for? Was this the place where there was no mobile signal?

Phoenix OkK Cupid is free, lots of people use Match but it can be expensive unless it has an offer on. Good luck!

WarmFuzzyFun · 20/03/2013 22:38

You know how I feel about MisMatch! {boo}

WarmFuzzyFun · 20/03/2013 22:39

Grin Bet I meet my next husband on Match

ike1 · 20/03/2013 22:39

Yep...Velv business like...As we cant meet up Fri I suggest we meet up tomorrw night. End.

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