Dating chat thread! Number 47

[lubeybooby]

Here we go again folks, all dating related chit chat here.

I think you've probably got your point across! Not sure how you're feeling though and can't quite work from what you've said whether you're thinking he's going to finish it or whether you're thinking of finishing it.

Drink and mobile phones are dangerous. I had an incident last night with one and the recent ex and I are in contact again. I think I am over him now and won't go back to the way it was but will probably keep in touch.

OWW... I have been following your story with LM from the start. I have had various opinions, but have rarely voiced them because I think you're a nice woman and I wouldn't want to hurt you.

I think he is a shit. I'm really sorry. Someone that loves you would have called you then, when you sent the message. That is not the conversation to be had by text, any adult would know that.

I also am worried that he has a different kind of relationship with his 'friend' - maybe a fwb thing when she's around. I think he's emotionally stunted, and messing you around.

I am sorry, I really don't want to hurt your feelings.

Think it's finished.

OWW, sorry cross post. I think if he realises how much he is unsettling you and cannot give more of his time then that isn't such a bad thing. If it comes to it then maybe a step back might be for the best. I actually respect my recent ex for leaving me be because he knew he was upsetting me.

I really hope he steps up and can give you more.

OWW , he probably didn't know what to say for the best. You told him to ignore anything you texted after 8, maybe he thinks it's better just to agree with you for the time being and then have a proper conversation tomorrow.

Looking on the bright side, you've got a few things that were bothering you off your chest.
PUT YOUR MOBILE AWAY NOW THOUGH, THIS IS AN INTERVENTION - STEP AWAY FROM THE MOBILE !!!

Western - oh sorry to hear its not going well. I think you seem very patient and after a couple of glasses of wine you probably feel its better to get it out in the open how you feel. And I think it's better out then in on this occasion.

So how long have you been seeing each other?

Since September. Oh bloody hellfire, don't want it to go like this but honestly I've not said anything untoward or rude, just that I feel like a low priority and I think he has just been stringing me along for ages. Feel like a total fool. He won't pick up the phone and talk.

Sorry oww I'd love to be able to offer good advice but I've had a couple of beers and all I could come out with would be platitudes. I hope it's okay.

Mildly embarrassing moment here in an irish pub. I was in the gents, sending a text, and a guy at the other end of the urinals starts muttering and laughing at me, saying something incomprehensible about mobile phones I think. So I say 'I'm sorry, I don't speak Hungarian' at which point he says 'nor do I, I'm from fucking Glasgow'

You're not a total fool, OWW and you really haven't said anything rude or untoward ( unless your text read ' You giant ffaced fwit, I need to see you more fing often. And while I'm at it that cing friend of yours is a monumental t*nosed monstrosity with a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle through a barbed wire fence ' and I'm sure it didn't ). Having a conversation like this when drink has been taken is ALWAYS a mistake, don't do it.

Some men just can't deal with things, but I always feel that if they did care then they would call and talk about it.

It's like mrworkaholic when we tried the relationship thing and he was treating me crap, I wanted to talk about it. He asked me to wait until Friday and we will chat and kiss and make up etc. then he broke up with me as he knew he was hurting me!

I doubt LM could be as crappy as him, but he doesn't seem like he's showing too much concern for your feelings right now

Also who is this 'friend' you mentioned?

Gawd bless ya, Bant

No, OWW, he won't pick up the phone because he know's you've been drinking and it's likely to get weepy and emotional. You told him to ignore anything you said, so he's replying in a very non-committal way. Now, please send a quick text saying you're going now because you're drunk, and switch your phone off.

moving, your brother is nearly as much of a twerp as his friend. One of them thinks that the only way to measure happiness in life is by whether or not he has a girlfriend, and the other has been cheating on his while they are ttc. Neither of these are particularly grown up, are they, lovely? What you are doing, raising your DD by yourself, carving out a future for you both and being a role model she will be proud of, these are the things that really matter.

Yep, better out than in I think, just wish it had gone down a bit better.

I think that's probably it with him now, I'm really not going to chase him any more. Have done too much of that already and I hate the feeling of liking/loving someone more than they like/love me.

What Flipper said OWW

This shouldn't be a battle, oww. It's been several months now, there should be some things you feel the same way about, and maybe LM feels the same way too but doesn't express it. If the basis of any good relationship is honesty, then you should be able to talk about this stuff (little friend, not seeing him enough etc) with him honestly instead of waiting until you're drunk then dreading the consequences.

In my experience, men are generally happier to go with the flow, not push for more once they've got the basics of a relationship sorted out - the basics being 'is there someone who'll have sex with me, and only me'

That's generalising of course but once we've got that then everything else is details. So you have to push for more, which is what you want. If he won't do more now, he likely never will.

caution this is drunken advice. Feel free to discard. Ooh I really fancy a KFC now.

I've never, ever got weepy and emotional on him apart from once about my dad. So I don't really think it's that, it's just that he is too chickenshite to actually talk to me about it. All I've said to him was a very mild version of wanting to see him more, feeling like I'm a low priority, no drunken ranting or anything, really not anything that I wouldn't have said to him in as many words last week if I'd have got round to it instead of being distracted by other stuff.

Bant, you're right, if it doesn't sort out now then I am probably best off out of it rather than wasting any more time.

I feel absolutely terrible though. Unfortunatley I have really fallen for this bloke and it looks like I have made a real mistake here. I feel so very, very stupid being taken in again by someone who has been feeding me a line. I believed him when he said he loved me. Oh dear.

Flipper - your right it's not very grown up behaviour, but then again my brother is 6 years younger then me. And his friend is 5years younger.

I did ask my brother what makes him think that he knows so much about relationships considering he has only had one proper gf! I wasn't persuaded by his response.

Well I have calmed down now. But I just felt very teary as I do feel alone, but yes I will still be very selective about who I have a relationship with as they need to be right for me and my dd.

I have found since I have split up with exp that the guys I go for are very crap and I do wonder if I subconsciously pick crap guys knowing I wont let them too close because of dd, and it's ok for me to sleep with them and spend time with them, but not ok to have them in my life!

Anyone still awake?

I am OWW. Well, just woken up and going to attempt my hot tea trick to get back to sleep soon.

Yes lovely OWW I am still awake...you can chat to me...just got in from the cinema...

You still there love? x

Lubes how long have you been asleep? I slept for 2 hours this pm (this cold has been a pain) now I am wide awake bah! It was just me a couple in the cinema...bizarre...

I went to bed at half eight... couldn't stay awake any longer... now awake... gah. Sometimes if I drink hot tea really quickly then go back to bed i can fall asleep again... so hoping that happens. Will make my hot hot cuppa in a minute...

I'm still here, can't sleep