I am furious with my husband.

[AuntLucyInPeru]

We work together in our worn company. There was a networking 'do' on tonight 6-8.30 (10 mins walk fromhome) so I suggested he go as it was more his line of work than mine. He went to the pub afterwards and ignored my calls/ texts for an hour asking him where he was and if he was coming home. At 9pm he called, said he'd gone for ONE drink with an interesting new contact an would be back soon. An hour ago. Still in the fucking pub, pretending he can't hear his phone. EVERY FUCKING TIME he goes for a 'networking drink' it's the same. Home 3am throwing up everywhere and being a bolshy drunk. We're not talking every month. We're talking a couple of times a year. I NEVER do this. I am fucking furious. We have a 3yr old and 5 yr old so i can't even leave the house to drag the cunt home. What do I fucking do now.

Hmm having read other posts it's more complicated than that. Should always read before comment! Sorry.

You don't have to live like this ALIP, as AF says, you hve a choice

I used to live like this but not anymore. AF and many other posters helped me make the right choice for me (my sanity!) and my children

For the record I don't think you did anything wrong last night wrt to texts etc but at the same time I will never ever put up with any of that sort of behaviour again as I choose not to, and so can you

Hope it works out

OP, keep watching, keep looking out for yourself

no fucker else will

Everything AF said. With bells on.

I couldn't forgive that behaviour, regardless of the frequency.

Good luck to you OP. I have a feeling we may be hearing from you in 6 months time when his drunken nastiness rears its ugly head again.

bloody hell, I've gotta stop holding back < rueful smile >

Yes, children might easily wake up, and lye scared waiting for it to pass. It might really worry them.

To give an example. Last year I managed to rip my ear ring out, pretty much tearing it through my entire earlobe... (yuck and drama)

Ds1 woke up by me in tears "shout whispering / hissing" to my husband "oh my God I can see right through my earlobe, and there is so much blood!" I was panicking and ranting in the bathroom, jumping and stepping around pretty frantic. There was no alcohol, or no violence involved, just an accident that freaked me out. Ds1 woke up, and he told me next morning:

"Mum, I woke up by you crying about your ear last night, I was so scared for you I could not sleep after, but I did not want to come out and see what was going on as it sounded scary". He had been petrified. But he told me, because he tells me most of what he feels, so I had a chance to reassure him.

I also wanted to post what Maryz said but I just wonder if you're ready to listen to it yet (I sincerely hope you are)

So he should agree to live with his every action being monitored? Being badgered because he was TOLD to attend a networking event. And the op admits that he does this every time he goes out, so it sounds to me like he was set up to fail from the start. EVERY FUCKING TIME he goes for a 'networking drink' it's the same So don't give him the opportunity to do it then.

I am not saying his actions (ranting, throwing up etc) were acceptable at all (I did say that below too) but neither were hers. She was calling him half an hour before it finished (yeah yeah, I know she said her original time was a typo, but I don't believe that, because she didn't correct it until I challenged her on it! She went on to state that at 9pm after an HOUR of calls, he picked up. So while he was trying to drum up business to keep their livelihoods going, he was being badgered! Not really ideal for networking, is it?

I believe that if a man was posting this he would be told to get a grip/stop being controlling/stop gas lighting.

I would not live like this, no. And I don't. because we both have respect for the other one. I would not dream of badgering dh on an evening out & he would not dream of coming home so pissed that he threw up. There are faults on both sides here, not just any one side.

It is not the OP's fault her husband is an alcoholic.

wow im new to this, it's awful for the OP. what a horrid situation but whowever specialAgentKat is you've just told someone to fuck off. isn;t this a Talk Forum for people to freely express their opinions?

o ok. Hi Maryz. i just felt a bit sorry for Seabean. she didn't come back. maybe that kind of honesty isn't her bag. helooo Seabean. you got an answer? it's ok don't worry. i LIKE this. it's fun! (but subject not obv). :)