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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread no 45

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 08/03/2013 21:59

Online and real life dating chat, all welcome

OP posts:
Movingforward123 · 11/03/2013 09:09

Hey everyone. I still havnt called my brothers friend and I'm just feeling so pissed off right now!

I havnt been able to walk for two weeks now and I'm staying at my mums who has been very helpful looking after me and dd! But we had a bit of an argument this morning and now I just want to cry! I'm so fed up and just want to be able to walk and drive etc! I hate having to rely on anyone even my own mum! I also hate being in other peoples space and want to go home!

I'm wondering If I should just go home but I'm thinking it's not very safe for dd incase she falls or anything and I can't get to her quick enough!

Sorry I know this isn't very dated related Hmm

Also ex p is just being really nice and wants to look after me etc! And it seems hes the only man in the world that is really interested in me!

lulubellaboozle · 11/03/2013 09:29

OWW that's great! so pleased it has all worked out well! so proud of you for saying what you want and need. LM responded to the challenge!

Snape sure all will be well x

lubeytoobooby · 11/03/2013 09:36

Mornin' all

Haha... chutzpah eh? :o I blame my hormones/sex drive... it's their fault. They force me to find ways to do this stuff. It's not me it's them. I'm actually innocent and virginal and would never use IE. [notconvincinganyoneleastofallmyself] smiley.

I am about to check out and naff off over to Edinburgh

Velvet hope it goes away soon

OWW lovely to see that update from you :o

lubeytoobooby · 11/03/2013 09:38

and Snape... I'm sure everything will be ok, lovely

MirandaWest · 11/03/2013 10:01

I ran in the cold and wind. Was probably good for me (including fast intervals at the end Hmm).

Am not tracking Mr Nice's plane down to London who am I kidding

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:08

Hello darlinks,

Snape...you only feel like this cos you have strong feelings for nameless that's all, Kin..fule or mule? Miranda ..he'll be back soon and you will be super fit!

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:09

I am sooo over the married dreded gardener..kicked him off my favourites list...I am sure he's gutted!

OhWesternWind · 11/03/2013 10:14

Ha Lubey sounds like you have had a great night too. Good on you. And the other one to look forward to as well. You have such a lot going on at the moment!

Snape no, no just a silly wobble, it really doesn't mean anything is up. (Could also possibly be a little bit morning-after-wine induced - I always get a horrible sense of doom after too much booze). Hope you get to see him later on today.

Miranda the fortnight will go really quickly, he'll be back before you know it and you can have a great reunion.

Moving - could you go home and your mum check in with you to make sure you're okay? Or just go back for a couple of days to give yourself a break? It must be really difficult being back at your mum's. And don't worry about phoning him, don't feel pressured to do anything you don't feel right about.

Feeling pretty good about LM. I think he is really, really trying and has taken notice of a lot of what I said to him. I feel very loved up and optimistic about things today. I am floating around the office grinning like a loon. Getting a bit carried away about this man, I have honestly never felt like this before about anyone sexually, was always pretty meh about sex and couldn't really see what all the fuss was about, and this is a revelation to me. And I am feeling very close to him emotionally. And he makes me laugh, proper spitting your drink out and snorting type laughing. It's lovely.

lubeytoobooby · 11/03/2013 10:24

Awww Miranda - hope it goes dead quickly for you!

Right must rn, quite fast too before I miss the train. Laters all

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:24

That' great OWWW ...long may it last!!!

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:25

See yah Lubes..

BillMasen · 11/03/2013 10:25

Hi all,
I need your collective reassurance again, this time that I'm not really an unreasonable arse and a crap parent. It's access to kids related.

I have the kids every weekend. Fri tea to sun tea. I love it, but I am finding that with working full time too I have literally no time to do anything. I didn't have them one weekend in feb, and I've now arranged to not have them the last weekend in April.

Apparently (not to my face of course) this makes me a "nightmare" and I should realise being a parent isn't optional.

For clarity, my ex doesn't work, kids are in nursery 3 mornings a week and my parents have them one day a week.

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:29

Bill that is absolutely more than reasonable..plenty of notice .....

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:31

I had 2 week's notice of exH's Cuba trip which knocked 2 of my weekends out..I only moaned cos he had the temerity to call me a sh1t parent just before he jetted off..

lulubellaboozle · 11/03/2013 10:32

Bill wtf? I think that makes you a saint!! very reasonable indeed, I'm suprised you don't have one weekend a month to yourself. To be honest, it stinks to me of a Mum who quite likes having all her weekends free to be single and mingle and just be a weekday parent.

like Ike says, you have given plenty of notice and to be honest you need a life too. stick to your guns!

BillMasen · 11/03/2013 10:35

lulu I was planning on trying to formalise one weekend a month when I don't have them but I'm now a bit nervous about trying to.

OhWesternWind · 11/03/2013 10:36

Bill are you going to have them an extra couple of days in the week instead? Maybe that would help the situation . . . And I suppose it all depends on how amicable/flexible your arrangements are generally and if, for example, you'd have them for some extra days occasionally if your ex wanted a bit more child-free time.

Sorry, I'm not really one to advise on this as I have my two 24/7 so don't have to handle this sort of thing.

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:37

I see where OWW is coming from but I personally wouldnt do that..we all deserve a proper break now and then..ignore and enjoy! You deserve it!

lulubellaboozle · 11/03/2013 10:40

I wouldn't be! What mother doesn't want to spend one weekend a month with her kids? weekdays are all school or nursery and commitments, weekends are for chilling and doing the fun stuff. I love my child free weekends to do adult stuff and go out but I would hate not to see my kids at a weekend, even though they live with me. very strange?

Maybe you could do every other weekend, just having them one night and one day and that way you get to see them every week but have half a weekend to yourself.

To be honest, every other weekend is quite the norm so I wouldn't worry about being seen as unreasonable, as I said, sounds saintly to me Grin

BillMasen · 11/03/2013 10:40

OWW that's a problem as I work 60 miles from where I live so normally get home after they're in bed and leave before they wake up. I'm trying to find something closer but it's not that easy. I'd love to do that but just can't at the moment. I would still think 1 weekend a month is ok, but not totally sure I'm not asking a bit much.

MirandaWest · 11/03/2013 10:43

Bill I don't think you're being unreasonable. My XH works full time and generally has the DC every other weekend and one night during the week but he works near to here and so is fine for him to take them to school on the day he's had them overnight. I am probably lucky in that we are both pretty flexible - recently we've both had mixtures of nights at weekends to do with what we've both been doing. I agree with lulu - I'd hate not to see the DC at weekends.

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:45

Bill I can assure you it is not too much! I hand mine over about 5pm on a Sat...so I have Sat evening to go out and usually Sun too. But Fri evening is exH's night off. Usually a 2 week notice of change to timetable is cool with me.

ike1 · 11/03/2013 10:48

Seriously now....you need time to yourself to built up a balanced life...its not all about kids n' work.

JulietteMontague · 11/03/2013 11:05

Bill how flexible is your employer? You are in any case entitled to ask and they must consider some flexibility as both your DC have a disability (sorry if I've called it wrong). I know in practice it's not that easy but maybe if you think about it differently you can find a solution which gives you good DC time and some time off. Could your parents collect and take them to school say Monday am, you have DC 3 out of 4 weekends from Saturday noon until Monday. Or could you do extended hours Mon to Friday to give you some mid week DC time. Or, could you reduce your hours?

It's very clear you're a good parent, it seems ex wants all her weekends free Hmm

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 11/03/2013 11:10

I also speak as someone who has never had any support from DC father or my parents at all so I do get how difficult it is to even go do anything that can't be done in a lunch 'break'.

OP posts: