After reading the start of this thread I was going to suggest looking at the moneysavingexpert site - they have some really good budget planner information to work out easily monthly budgets and to help you see what you are spending and when/where, which is a good starting point.
I think also if your dh is not buying food or doing the supermarket shop or buying the clothes and the school uniforms etc etc then he probably doesn't realise quite how much all those things have gone up by in the last few years as there are just a few odd things that have managed to come down in price or stay ticking along the same and if they see those it's easy to conveniently pretend think that everything else is the same too.
If I'm out shopping with dh (not a natural shopper at the best of times!) he is always horrified by how much things cost - he think he should be able to get a weekly shop, a new interview suit and a meal out for a fiver and still have 3'n'6 left over! he does realise he is bad though and it is a long running joke, plus he is happy to pay up for things at today's prices without question when it comes to opening his wallet.
but just a couple of examples - about 5 years ago in asda I could get a box of their cheapy tissues for 25p. Today they cost almost 70p - which is almost 3 times the price. Petrol - 5 years ago I could fill my car up for about £40, now it's almost £60. And whilst it's technically possible to buy 8 burgers for a pound still - they are now the basic value ones that are made of all sorts of dodgy horse meat and fat and reclaimed meat sludge rather than ones that have proper minced beef in that provide some nutritional value. Downshifting products is all well and good for a while but there comes a point where you can't do it any further without risk to your health or sanity.
OK so I can get an all singing all dancing latest whizzy flat screen tv for a hundred or two less than the same thing would have cost last year, but as I don't buy those every week or even every year or two, I'm not actually saving that much; the things that are going up in price are a much bigger percentage of my overall total shopping basket and it is rocketing in price. And of course bills have been rocketing too.
Which means that if he has been giving you £100 the whole time that you have been together, your purchasing power with that £100 each is diminishing week on week 
and so he should at least have been upping it each year to keep you able to buy the same amount of stuff - and increasing it as I'm sure that as your kids are getting older they need more stuff - they will eat more, clothes get more expensive, they just become more expensive as they start to have hobbies or do sport etc etc.
It's still probably worth doing a budget with the help of the mse stuff - it will help you to see how much you have been spending and how much he hasn't. I bet if you were to ask him, your 'd'h would think that you are both paying pretty much the same amount towards the family expenditure and has no clue how much things actually cost. Much easier for him to pretend think that and say that you are frittering the rest of your own money away than actually face up to how much modern day life costs and have to give a much bigger chunk of money into the pot and have less to fritter away himself.
Maybe if you are able to talk to him about it at some point it will be a way of talking without him kicking off as it will be a neutral independent way of looking at expenditure and he won't be able to pretend any more about the money situation.
or if you are managing to talk about this and he is being reasonable, point out that if you asked him to transfer all his money over to you, apart from the £30 for childcare and any other costs you know he has (say a bus pass or canteen lunch or things that are really regular things) and he had to ask you for an extra £30 here or £50 there every time he fancied a take away or buying a new shirt then he would hate it with a vengeance. So why does he think that situation is unfair when you would obviously give him the money when he asked for it... And when it is what he is expecting you to do at the moment.
I hope that you manage to sort something out that brings you peace of mind with regard to your relationship and your financial stability both in the immediate future and in the longer term. And I hope that your eye stops hurting soon - do get it looked at if it hurts for too long! take care of yourself - have some 
and 
and some un-mn hugs in the meantime.