To get annoyed at having to prompt dh for some money?

[WomanCalledAlice]

I work FT and get paid monthly, dh gets paid weekly. My wage pays the bills/clothes the kids need etc. On a Friday when dh is paid he transfers money straight into my account for groceries. Today he transferred £100 so I went to Tesco and spent £70 on food for the week and put the other £30 in the meter for electric.

Now it's my friends birthday today and I'd like to buy her something nice and also my other friend had a baby on Monday so would have liked to buy her a little gift.

Every week it's more or less the same, he transfers money over but I just never have enough. When I ask him for more money he usually says "did you spent the whole £100"? But he always transfers more over its just the fact he questions me and I don't think I should have to ask.

I'm not out buying luxuries for myself (I wish) I'd just like a little bit of cash in my purse. AIBU?

I almost feel guilty for asking him

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

YY ignore, it's gone too far.

Yeah I'm ignoring the texts. Apart from telling him his stuff is outside I'm not getting sucked in to a conversation.

Way too far. It's a cycle- he tried intimidation, didn't work, now he's going for mr nice guy routine. Don't answer any of the texts and brace yourself for the nasty side to show itself again in a few hours.

You are doing so well- just think of him as someone else's spoilt child having a tantrum near you- annoying, but ultimately not your problem.

Well done for putting the stuff outside,

Very wise. Remember this is the 1st day of your new life, and hugs from me.

Remember all you asked him to do was talk/ change the financial arrangements so it was FAIR and he exploded, assaulted you and then harassed you in the middle of the night.

Ignore his texts, block his number.

Hurrah for putting the stuff outside :).

All my STBXH's crap is still in the attic or shed nearly 9 months on! Excuse after excuse why he can't pick it up...

The more I ignore him the more irritated and nasty he gets though. Can't win.

You are winning though. :) Stay strong, you are doing great.

You can. You are winning. He doesn't live with you, his stuff is outside. You are winning.

Winning does not mean he is nice to you. It means he is not near you- and he will stop texting in time, this won't go on forever- quickest way is to keep ignoring. Can you turn your phone off for a bit?

I think you should get a cheap phone that you just use for him, when you need to discuss the children or finances. I've heard Tesco Mobile do some cheap phones.

You are winning though. You are being strong, you are saying that you aren't going to be treated like this. That's winning.

He is realising that his cash cow has had enough and he's scared.

He's tried attacking and now he's trying to sweettalk and then he'll try attacking again.

Keep all the texts and read them all, every time you forget, even a little bit, who this man is.

That's a good idea cremeegg. If i didn't respond though he would just pester me on my phone I have now.

So annoyed with myself for drinking last night. I feel terrible, haven't see my children all weekend and have a really busy week ahead at work. I never do it but calling in sick is appealing right now.

Hecate, the texts and this thread are a great reminder if I ever feel myself weakening.

Alice I'm so sorry to hear your night got even worse.

Calling in sick a v good idea. Do you think you could use it to have a huge sleep? Once you've had some sleep everything else may seem a little less daunting.

Alice, get a cheap mobile for him and then block his number on your current phone.

He can be as annoying as he wants and bombard you with as many texts or calls as he wants but if you don't read them then he won't have any joy will he.

Bung your phone in a drawer or turn it off until you actually need to use it

A day off to sleep would be great.

Once the kids are home my phone is getting switched off. I'm sure I have an old phone somewhere I can dig out and use for him only.

That's the spirit, Alice. Badabing explained it better than I did. I also think calling in sick for at least a couple of days would be good.

Alice try to keep everything really simple. Beans on toast for the kids. Let them watch TV. Eat. Drink water or tea, no alcohol. This will help you cope.

I guess the phone thing is a little tricky until you get a new number for your family and friends, but I guess you could let them know you are switching it off for hours at a time it old help you get a break.

Just get through the hours till you can sleep, then you can start to put the blocks in place for a legal separation.

Hey Alice.

Sorry last night was so shit for you.

A couple of days off work sound a good idea if you can manage it.

New phone number is worth the hassle and keep old number for him (I do this and it is a godsend tbh)

I second ImagineThat ...keep things as simple as you can.

Get kids off to school tomorrow and then concentrate on yourself, sleep, rest whatever.

I have some holidays I need to use before the end of March so will maybe use them up this week.

Nothing adventurous for dinner tonight, I couldn't face it.

God, the legal stuff. Don't know where to begin.

Legal Matters and Divorce/Separation on here to start. There's a poster called Olgaga who puts together some brilliant links and advice, so look out for her. I'm sorry I can't link to any threads right now, as I'm on my phone, but maybe someone else on here could.

Thank you, I find it hard to find other forums on my phone. I have AIBU bookmarked :)

Feeling majorly sorry for myself. Have only left my room to put his things in the shed for him to collect. Need to get my act together before kids are home :(