To get annoyed at having to prompt dh for some money?

[WomanCalledAlice]

I work FT and get paid monthly, dh gets paid weekly. My wage pays the bills/clothes the kids need etc. On a Friday when dh is paid he transfers money straight into my account for groceries. Today he transferred £100 so I went to Tesco and spent £70 on food for the week and put the other £30 in the meter for electric.

Now it's my friends birthday today and I'd like to buy her something nice and also my other friend had a baby on Monday so would have liked to buy her a little gift.

Every week it's more or less the same, he transfers money over but I just never have enough. When I ask him for more money he usually says "did you spent the whole £100"? But he always transfers more over its just the fact he questions me and I don't think I should have to ask.

I'm not out buying luxuries for myself (I wish) I'd just like a little bit of cash in my purse. AIBU?

I almost feel guilty for asking him

Obviously too late, but you should feel sorry for him.
Only some really sad lowlife would feel the need to tell his stbx that he "pulled".

If nothing else, you have evidence to divorce him on grounds of adultery.

Also, in Relationships there's (was) no spam, and they are all friendly.
Not to your H, though. Some of us would happily form a posse.

Hope you are ok, and the police came.

You really do need to put in a complaint to IPC. Whether he has friends in the police or not they need to deal with your complaint in the correct way.

Pulled?! At 4.30am?!
The correct phraseology for that is 'kebab shop mop ups'.
I hope you are ok, Alice. Can you tell us your vague location? If you're local I'd be happy to call (maybe with a bacon sandwich and some full fat coke for the voddie hangover)?

I suspect the correct phrase is "a load of bullshit", PP!

True, Snatch, true.

I meant that OP's H was bullshitting her by saying he'd pulled.

(in case that wasn't clear)

I know, I was agreeing and giving him an eyeroll for good measure.

Ah. I always misread the eye roll face!

What he is putting you through is shitty, it really is. And you need to report this friend of his. IF it is true, then this person has really screwed up and they will be in the shit. Don't let that go! They need at the very least, an official reprimand or something.

Although you should not be going through this, in one - really awful and painful for you way! - this may be an ok thing to happen.

I know you are probably sitting there with face and thinking bloody stupid woman, feck off! but hear me out.

If he had got down on his knees (metaphorically) and grovelled and promised to never hurt you again and how sorry he was and had been all hearts and flowers and promises of change - you may well have forgiven him. It may have worked. And you'd be stuck with a manchild who you were supporting and who chucked a few quid at you and expected gratitude and who can't even be faithful to you!

But this? This treatment of you? This you're never going to forgive and forget and ultimately this will benefit you. You won't be living with someone who treats you like shit.

He's shown you the true extent of his contempt for you and there's no going back from that.

Hope you're a bit better this morning. Be kind to yourself. Xxx

Another vote of support Alice, well done for being so strong so far.

OP. I wonder if he said about the policeman friend texting to guage by your reaction whether you had contacted the police or not. ie if you had looked confused and said "Eh? I haven't called the police!" He would then know you hadn't. You could ask the police if it is true that the friend texted him rather than complaining straightaway. I hope you are ok. He sounds absolutely vile and you are well shot of him. Sorry you are having to suffer all this. You are right you will be much better off without him.

Alice, sorry I seemed to go to sleep last night just has he decided to be a knob outside. Well done for not letting him in, did the police turn up in the end? Today is even closer to all this being over you know? How are things now?

Thank you.

Police eventually did turn up at 6.30. Pointless, told them he had been here, threatening texts etc. so it's on record, just lost faith in them.

Totally regretting touching alcohol last night. I've woken up feeling anxious, can feel my heart beating out my chest like I'm going to have a panic attack. Shitty Sunday. Going to pull the duvet over my head and wallow.

That odd.

One would think that if you phone 999 saying some one who has recently assaulted you is trying to get into your house they would come quickly.

When you call them how are you describing the suituation?

I called non emergency number, it was kicking out time so they were probably busy. The local station is tiny, has usually 2 officers on duty covering too large an area to deal with.

He text me asking to leave his squash racket outside, I'm just going to put everything outside that belongs to him and tell him to fuck off and stop hounding me.

YaY, to leaving everything outside that will remove any legitimate reason for him to text you.

However shit he or the police are being, you are winning this, don't forget that.

Next time call 999 his threatening behaviour IS an emergency.

Put out everything that is his. If possible cover it with something just incase it rains,that way he can't say you intentionally damaged his stuff or didn't take reasonable care of it. Then he will have no further reason to return.

You don't need to tell him you are just do it.

If he turns up collects stuff from outside and leaves with no drama great but if he yells shouts hammers on the door or anything like that just call 999. A the very least behaving like that is a public order offence

At least while this man is behaving like such a dick he is making it really easy for you to get rid of him and obtain court orders to keep him at a distance in future. Have yourself something nice to eat and a long bath, keep your chiin up.

He is definitely giving me lots to use against him. Idiot.

Now I'm getting "can we talk"? , "I'm sorry" texts.