Dating Thread 43

[WarmFuzzyFun]

Here it is...

future, not fure.

Interesting story about online dating scams

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21366326

Bant I'm surprised but I shouldn't be given what else goes on. You said yourself recently that when you were about to leave a site you suddenly got a lot of messages and were a bit suspicious. Maybe it was a last chance rush or possibly they start to 'feature' people more when they know they are due to leave.

It doesn't surprise me in the least. POF use models to try and entice you over to paid sites. I suspect it's mainly men who get sucked in by this somehow, although you hear about women getting conned. I cannot imagine that happening to me and others on this thread.

Yes, not surprised at all. Most people I know who've used paid sites have suddenly received messages once a subscription has run out to try and get you back in.

Even free sites seem to have them. Other than La Belissima, I have had two messages on OKC in the last week. Seems incredibly unlikely I would be genuinely contacted by two women, both of whose user names end in TheCat, both of whom are in Scotland (several hundred miles away), both of whom are SouthAsian....

I'm very suspicious of the match and matchaffinity profiles that all follow the same format

like mikehskygreen or dan80seablue there are loads of them, always a name or other word, two underscores and a colour. Seems very very odd to me.

Beware of the POF app too. I've just deleted mine from my phone as it pings you every time you get a message and the dreaded 'wants to meet'. If you log on sometimes it logs off slowly and you end up staying on using your usage, mine is limited, and charges kick in. Also even if you log off it tells users you are still online all the time. I take my phone to my bedroom and it kept going off all last night. I messaged one guy and he told me it said I was online at five in the morning!

Oh damn. And after the earlier posts on here I was going to change my name to 'toomanyhairs_grey'

OMG just had my first ever OD date. He seemed a very nice interesting man, and he had the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen. But he seems a bit old, older than the 41 he's supposed to be. Either he's lying or the 20 a day habit has taken it's toll!! He also texted me half an hour ago saying that he's going to stop looking now he's found me. I didn't reply and he's already texted asking what I have to say and has he said something wrong! WTF do I say?! Help!

Mischi, he sounds a bit keen doesn't he?! I mean, asking what you have to say after 30 mins is a bit desperate.

Mischi - to say that in the first place, and then text within half an hour because you haven't replied??? Red flag, in my book. It's nice, if a date has gone well to say so, but to hassle someone for not replying that swiftly seems FAR too over eager. Added to the fact you think he may be lying about his age? I'd be treading carefully, but if you liked him and would like to see him again, then do so, but I wouldn't keep this in the back of my head and I would reply suggesting something next weekend (ie, not coming across too eager) but feel free to say that you aren't anywhere near the 'exclusive' stage yet and may still be meeting other people at the moment.

What voice said....

Mischi be careful with this one. If he looked older, he probably is and saying he is coming off the site now is just weird and also presumes you must feel the same way. Even if you did, texting to ask why you haven't replied is the third red flag.

Sorry, I meant to say "I WOULD keep this in the back of my head" in the sense that I would be bearing these things in mind during a second date (if you wanted one).

Yep. It does seem a bit red-flaggy. I'd reply with 'you'd like to see him again but don't really feel like you know each other yet so want to take things slowly, '

rather than that you want to see other people (although do that too)

micshi - I would be very wary as the others have said. If he's that needy now, imagine what he'd be like if you were actually going out with him.

He hasn't asked you what you want has he? Just said that he's found you so now you're his kind of thing. And anyone who texts 30 minutes after not receiving a reply is weird.

Do you actually really like him?

It's just one red flag, possibly. He could just be blown away by your magnificence, and be overly keen. It doesn't mean drop him, it just means be a little cautious

He sounds over keen. It's nice to get a follow up to a date very soon and I would have replied straight away if I had liked someone, but to want to be exclusive after one date is a bit previous.

He just texted saying that he understood, no need to answer! There you go then, don't need to bother. His original text was only just over an hour ago! I really can't be bothered with someone that needy, I thought I was bad!

Mic, think you are going with your gut instinct here, which you should.

I'll message the tasty looking 25 year old who's been messaging me instead and have myself a toy boy

Oh no, Mischi, you used the TB expression..... runs for cover....

Mischi you're doing the right thing not bothering.

I would have replied with something a bit more sedate and seen how he reacted to it - but it's too late for that now he's already had a 'don't bother' strop.

Silly needy man.

place marking and catching up on this and the last thread!

OWW I am so so pleased for you! fantastic that you had the conversation and got confirmation of what you were hoping for. He truly does sound a lovely man who is doing his very best to make you happy and overcome whatever hang ups he knows he has, and lets face it, men who recognise their own shortcomings and are prepared to work to overcome them are few and far between

Kirsty glad Mr Cheeky has been helping you settle into your new flat shagging you senseless, luuurrvve eh?

Lubey yay for getting your mojo back, I didn't post on your other thread but did read it and I think you have been amazing throughout everything