The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Boinging Into Spring, With A Dance And A Sing!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I'm one of the regular travellers on this Bus!

This is a Bus for drinkers, the completely sober, those fighting to stay sober and everyone in between! No matter what, you're welcome here if you feel you don't like the way you drink anymore, or you're worried for someone else.

Take a seat.

You'll be listened to, looked after and maybe (if you're lucky), slapped with our resident Squid, Barry whom I'm sure you'll meet in time!

So, what have you got to lose by posting? What have you got to lose by coming to say hello and telling us why you don't like the way you drink anymore?

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And the reason we're ALL here in the first place, the first ever thread is ALL HERE

See you soon xx

Hello everyone. I have not been hiding, I've just been incredibly busy at work and not able to come back.

mouse you really are an inspiration. When I read about all the struggles you have and how strong you are, I am so impressed.

ma for what it's worth I'm not sick hearing about it. I don't know if there is a 'right' and 'wrong' approach in your circumstances. Richard will do what he will do, regardless of what anyone else does. If he is ready to get better then he will. I hope you don't mind me saying this?

Sorry for not name checking more people. I am a good bit behind and struggling to learn who everyone is.

I am home alone, and tired. DH bought two beers last night, and only drank one, because he can. I don't have to get up tomorrow and I badly want the beer. But I won't.

Thanks for the support Clutter Hope you have a lovely, restful nights sleep.

Thank you, too, Mouse, thank you so much for sharing the difficult road to where you are today. You have come so far and fought so hard, it doesn't seem fair that you still have more than your fair share of the shit to cope with - and still you are on here, continuing to help and support others.

I've read and understood what you have said and, of course you are right, life is happier without the guilt, expense and health-draining effects of alcohol. Without it, I'm more in control, more organised, happier but the (let's call it) emptiness that plagues me was there from the start - for as long as I have memory. My 'problem' drinking didn't start until after I was 30 (I didn't drink at all until about 25) but still the feelings of worthlessness were there from an early age, long before I picked up a glass of wine. A loner from a early as primary school. I even got married to, more-or-less, the first man who asked me at only just 18, because all I wanted was a family of my own - something I'd never had. It didn't work, how could it?

I've had counselling but I find it so hard to trust anyone that letting go completely is not an option for me right now. I am such and oxymoron! I want someone to look after me but can't trust anyone enough to let go of my own control. Laughable, in a sad way. Neither my Father nor my Mother could be trusted to look after me, either practically, emotionally, physically or spiritually. How can I un-learn this? Don't worry, this is a rhetorical question, I'm sort of talking to myself at this point, trying to work things out. x

Sorry, again, another 'me, me, me' post. A bit more of the 'inner me' exposed Joey!

Sleep tight Babes xxxxxx

Another apple juice night after gym. Have tough day coming up and usually would have lots of wine and sleeping pills to take away stress. Now om hardly worried just pleased because I have ww beaten tonight! I still think acarr made all the difference along with other things. If anyone got reading him let me know what you thought?

Ps purple I understand what your saying and I lived also with great lack of trust. Ive recently got out there with new people and found them really supportive and its helped me a lot. Ive joined quite a tough sport that means challenging and scary non stop sport all day saturday. Stops me drinking much so I can do it. But anything you join which gets you working with other supportive people helps build trust. Im not sure that this is much use as advice though?

purple gosh your life story sounds rather similar to mine! Counselling - I've seen about 10 mental health professionals of some sort. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person that you just click with.

ma I don't think there is a 'right' answer, your mum just has to do what is best for her. Maybe your brother doesn't get what it is like to be a mother, and how you would do anything for your kids, even when they put you through hell...

Talking of kids, does anyone have teens or pre-teens and could understand this behaviour? DD (10) has in the last 5 days suddenly burst into tears, at the same time every day, for the tiniest of reasons (eg. after an eye test on Saturday and being told she didn't need glasses!) She says she's not worried about anything, and even said she couldn't understand why she felt tearful. She was giving herself a hard time (again, over very minor things) am try to make sure she's eating properly cause she has been off her food, feeling nauseous for over a month. Is this the start of hormones?!

Thanks Fullof Your post has made me think more about my fears. I think fear of rejection is up there alongside lack of trust. And, of course, your advice is of use. Would love to hear your take on the Alan Carr book. x

Thanks lovely Joey. 10 mental health professionals? Hmm, I've been offered had two so far One did that thing where they wouldn't say ANYTHING AT ALL until you did!! Ffs! That really wasn't the therapy for me. And the other one, who was a man, was good but I shamefully but stereotypically and predictably was attracted to! Sheesh! As for DD, just a thought, could be wrong but...... my DD started similar behaviour and it took me a while to realise that it was falling into the same pattern as my own menstrual pattern. She's 11 and doesn't have periods yet but it's very obvious (now!) that she has a more 'emotional' bit of the month that does coincide with mine (They do say that women in the same household fall 'into sync' with each other). Just a thought. xxxx

Purple - my kids are very confident and believe everyone wants to meet them and so everyone does!!! Its self perpetuating. I lack that confidence but try and follow my kids attitude. I put myself into difficult situations (one in particular) and it has now become my new healthy in body and mind obsession - a very good thing. Acarr - I read him at time when I was ready to listen for first time. His philosophy includes that willpower is not involved. He claims that when you finish the book u wont want to drink again. He talks about alcohol its effects and that it never satisfies thirst but makes u more and more thirsty so u have to drink more. He talks a lot about bad effects and that there are no benefits at All. He has given me craving for apple juice!!!

Just checking in babes, sorry i am not posting, i am reading and thinking of you all xx

That book sound useful Fullof, I'll give it a go, thanks.

Isinde I know what you mean! I'm peri-menapausal (at 51) and DD is, at 11, pre-teen. I can see a hormone collision in this house!

Green been thinking about you. Hope you are OK? x

Morning

Just a quick hello and welcome to Libertine. How did it go last night? You might find that you don't really feel the benefits of not drinking straight away, it can take a few days, but that first day is over now.

Make a plan for tonight. Do you want to stay off the booze. It's only one evening, you can if you want to. Really, you can

Come back and post and we'll give you lots of advice and help you through it. If you get a chance today, stock up on soft drinks and some sweet treats.

Keep posting whatever happens. The bus is busy and you won't always get a reply straight away, so keep trying. If you feel ignored, stamp your feet a bit and someone will de-lurk and chat with you

Think that about covers orientation for this morning

Hi to everyone. So sorry for not responding much at the mo, will try to catch up a bit later.

x

Welcome Libertine, how are you feeling today? Hopefully less dreadful than yesterday? What is it your wanting to change at the moment? I have tried and tried control drinking but I am slowly seeing that maybe I just need to give up, my tolerance for wine is low, I love it, get hidiously drunk and suffer for days... I am starting to see that's not really fun!
I think I am going to invest in the Allan Carr book on pay day, I feel in the right place for it just now.
Day 21 of dry lent
Waves to all babes xx

Moning guys!

Feel sooo much better today, guess that's just a hangover without having hair of the dog, have been to shop though, and didn't get any alcohol for tonight, so feeling quite pleased with myself.

Ideally, I'd like to just have a few on a weekend, I don't want to get to the point where that's no longer possible for me, which is where it's been heading since Christmas, when it's OK to start drinking early every day.

Thank you for your replies, I will be reading with interest to everyone's situation here on in :)

21 days clutter that's brilliant!!

Hello all
Welcome Libertine.
Nice to see your fighting spirit, Mouse.
Alabaster, sorry you are feeling crap.

Right I have been invited to a work do this evening, usually an excuse to drink 3 drinks fast and then top up on the train home. But I think I am not ready to be released into the wild so I will be attacking the canapes and sticking to fizzy water. Pray for my resolve!
I AM NOT DRINKING TODAY

Clutter, I think you said you "aren't ready" to go out and not drink - I am not ready to go out and have a few. I can have one or two at home as long as I am very conscious of mood, timing, etc. But I just don't know how to handle a few drinks when out. Partly anxiety making me gulp - partly not having anywhere to put the drink, standing around, so you drink it faster - partly just a crazy social sort of rabbit-in-headlights thing - I don't know. I don't go out a lot any more so it is not hard for me to just see it as a different thing. I don't think of it as I used to think of "going out". I think those days are over, and you know what, I caned the hell out of them, so I can let it go.

Lots of people go through this. I saw an old drinking buddy on Saturday, haven't seen him for a long time, I knew he had had a hard time and made some changes, and there he was drinking soft drinks. Perhaps he noticed that I wasn't drinking either because he suggested we should meet for "tea". Maybe he didn't want to meet for drinks when he thought I was still a hardcore boozer? We could have a nice sober friendship now. I remember one time we went out for "a quick bite to eat after work" and drank so much they didn't bother to charge us for the food!

good luck curry !! Have you tried having tiny wine in a big glass of lemonade? Very new to this self control lark myself, so sorry if that's a stupid question!

clutter Day 21? That's brilliant!
green how are you doing?

purple you may be right about DDs hormones ? although I don?t know about synchronizing, been on the implant for so long I can?t remember what periods are I did wonder if this was the onset of puberty. The last few weeks she just hasn?t seemed herself, not so bright and bubbly... she hasn?t really been eating properly either.

Yes I suppose 10 mental health workers does seem a lot, but some of those were only for the short time it took for them to read my answers to a questionnaire and decide I wasn?t seriously ill enough to deserve any treatment

NHS
3 community mental health workers (one of whom was so awful that if I?d been suicidal she?d surely have pushed me over the edge)
1 actual bona fide clipboard-wielding psychiatrist (an actual bona fide idiot too)

Privately
2 counsellors (who were mostly okay)
1 ?Relate? couples counsellor ? totally shit, and my DHs only experience of counselling confirmed his belief that the whole business is a load of tosh

Semi-Privately (subsidised and make a donation)
1 counsellor (mostly okay)

And finally, my work referred me to someone who was absolutely fantastic. They only paid for 12 weeks, then I continued to see her privately. She charged a lot but it was worth it. I don?t see her anymore, as it was too expensive but I would go back if necessary.

I guess all of that shows that going private gets you better service

Morning all. Feeling really bad mentally today. Guilt, shame, disappointment, I think it the words. And bloody fed up with having a bottle of wine last night. All sorts going on in my world.

I'm peri menopause, but my cycles have gone from 3 weeks 3 days to 5 weeks 2 days. I'm not quite 50 yet. My DD is 5. Hopefully, I'll be out the other side of the menopause by the time DD hits puberty.

Only one namecheck today Jack so glad to see that you decided to come back.

Hey Lemony today's a new day eh? Onwards and upwards :)

Boing! Hello, I am on day 5 and beginning to feel a little springy...

Isinde spreadsheet winging its way to you. Excuse last season's font

I am enormously behind on work and DD being a bit of a pickle at night, so not much chance to work then. She is going to be told that we are playing offices after school today so I can work . Is that bad??

On the positive side, I have no evening as I am with her all night, so no chance to drink!

Does anyone else drink more when they have PMT? I have noticed that just before I go on my period I normally drink a lot more.

Afternoon all, first weekend in ages that I didn't overindulge and therefore didn't waste a day feeling shitty. Had two glasses of wine on Sunday evening in a friend's house, then had cup of tea before I got taxi home.