Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband is obsessed with his willy

148 replies

Falsey · 12/02/2013 12:29

Have name changed to save embarrassment.

I have been with dh a long time and we are happily married. However, he has always been slightly obsessed with his willy. This has been slightly irritating over the years, but I have learnt to ignore it (his obsession not his willy).

Anyway, I have found out that he has been going on sex toy websites and had purchased false willy covers of different sizes, which I think you wear over your willy to make them look bigger. He has then been wearing them at sporting events under hs cycling shorts!

My dh has a completely normal willy, it is not small and perfectly fine. He is a good looking successful man.

I don't know why this has irritated me, but the thought of my dh cruising sex toy websites, ordering products, having them posted to work rather than home and then wearing them when I am not with him, is strange. He then puts pictures of himself in his enhanced cycling shorts on fb.

I really don't know if I should be annoyed or not! What do you think?

OP posts:
NymphadoraTonks · 12/02/2013 12:36

...

Ew. No.

scaevola · 12/02/2013 12:39

Hard to type when having a fit of the giggles!

Perhaps you could get him off the websites by knitting them yourself?

Branleuse · 12/02/2013 12:40

I wouldnt be annoyed. Id probably be concerned. I wonder of someone has said something to make him so insecure? Can you have a proper chat with him about his insecurities. Can he wear something instead of cycling shorts?

just did a quick google and it seems a LOT of guys have this insecurity in cycling shorts

catladycourtney1 · 12/02/2013 12:41

I don't know whether you should be annoyed. Although, I suppose he is hiding it from you, and that would ring some alarm bells for me. As well as the pictures on facebook thing, since he obviously expects people to be looking at his cock.

I mean, willies aren't like boobs, are they? It's one thing for a woman to worry about her boobs and want to enhance them, because they're close to eye-level and they make a huge difference to body shape in general. But I can't say I've ever looked at a man's "package" in the same sort of way as a man might look at boobs, if you know what I mean?

Original poster
Falsey · 12/02/2013 12:41

It would be funny except it's my dh...

OP posts:
Absoluteeightiesgirl · 12/02/2013 12:42

but I have learnt to ignore it (his obsession not his willy)
Am sorry but this made me laugh out loud.
Not helpful OP but Grin

Lovingfreedom · 12/02/2013 12:42

Is this just the guy equivalent of 'chicken fillets' or a wonder bra?

Absoluteeightiesgirl · 12/02/2013 12:43

Have you talked to him about it? Could there some deep worry he has about it? Maybe a throw away comment made by someone in his younger years set off his obsession.

Original poster
Falsey · 12/02/2013 12:43

Yeah I know what you mean cat lady. I might wear spanx or a boob enhancing bra, but I think that's different.

I noticed the picture on fb at the time and did think he must have 'arranged' it well. Now I know why.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 12/02/2013 12:45

i dont see it as any different from wearing chicken fillets in your bra.

And yeah I probably would check out a guys package in cycling shorts if im honest.

izzyizin · 12/02/2013 12:45

Ye gods. There's not lot of sights which are more repulsive to delicate female sensibilities than a lycra-clad man with a small carrot and 2 shallots displayed for all to see, but one with a banana and a couple of grapes prominently on view is positively boakworthy.

Your h needs therapy to cure/alleviate his obsession. In the meantime is there any way you can photoshop some of the images he puts 'out there'?

It's up to you whether you can be arsed to be annoyed with his juvenile posturing but, fwiw, I'd be veering between hysterical laughter and pass the sick bucket.

Original poster
Falsey · 12/02/2013 12:46

I don't think he is insecure about it. It s a great willy!

I suppose all guys want bigger ones, but to actually order fake willies? I think they come with balls too and are supposed to be v realistic under clothes!

I'm just irritated that here we go with his willy again!

OP posts:
Original poster
Falsey · 12/02/2013 12:48

It really isn't sexy is it.

OP posts:
CajaDeLaMemoria · 12/02/2013 12:51

Where does he keep them?!

It's beyond bizarre that he has bought something so that he can photograph it and document it on Facebook.

Like he thinks a lot of people browse his page being like, "Wow, what a package!"

And it's not really like boobs...you can get away with enhancing them a bit and nobody noticing when you lose the bra, but a fake willy?!

There's something about this that is a blend of hilarious and really damn weird.

scaevola · 12/02/2013 12:51

Maybe in his dreams he's a 1970s/80s heavy metal star?

Or perhaps it's an early fixation with male ballet tights?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/02/2013 12:55

Posting pictures of enhanced cycling shorts on FB is not just an obsession, it's exhibitionism. I think you need to talk about why he feels the need to engage in such very public attention-seeking. I would say the same, incidentally, if he was a woman with a normal-size chest wearing padded bras and posting 'enhanced sweater' pictures on FB. Or a very skinny person obsessed at how fat they were. Something's very wrong if he's looking in the mirror and not seeing what everyone else sees. A kind of body dysmorphia.

BigPigLittlePig · 12/02/2013 12:56

My dh can't understand why women don't stare at mens crotch region with lustful eyes in the same way that men stare at boobs. He will often comment on athletes on tv (in lycra) about the size of the "bulge" and seems amazed that I haven't noticed because I'm watching the sport perhaps

Now I've written that down it sounds slightly odd.

Original poster
Falsey · 12/02/2013 12:56

I've never seen them. Have just seen that he ordered them on line. He sys he has thrown them away.

I think he thinks all women/men look at men's willys. I've told them ey don't and that willys are generally not attractive to women under clothes.

OP posts:
SignoraStronza · 12/02/2013 12:57

Eww! I'll never forget the sight and scent of a pack of fluorescent lycra-clad cyclists in the pub where I worked as a teenager. Scarred me for life! There is no way I'd be remotely interested in, let alone checking out, anything in cycling shortsShock .

I'd have words.

Branleuse · 12/02/2013 12:59

oh dear. Im the only woman that notices the crotches of attractive guys then :|

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/02/2013 12:59

Thrown them away? Really... Hmm Seems a lot of trouble to go to just to increase the land-fill.

Mmmnoodlesoup · 12/02/2013 13:03

Ooh I appreciate a good bulge BigPig Blush

Mmmnoodlesoup · 12/02/2013 13:04

X post with Bran Grin

WandaDoff · 12/02/2013 13:04

Does he wear black ones?

EauRouge · 12/02/2013 13:06

False willy covers? Have I led a really sheltered existence? I've never even heard of them before.

Sorry, OP, I don't have any constructive advice for you. Maybe ask him if there's a reason why he's so insecure about it?