Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

I've never admitted our problems on MN before...

101 replies

Chubfuddler · 03/02/2013 05:07

But I've read an awful lot of threads about abusive husbands. And imagining what my thread would look like, imagining your replies, knowing what you would say (because I've read the same threads over and over, and even dished out advice I wasn't ready to take myself) finally gave me the courage to leave.

The DCs and are are crammed in my mums spare room. For a while my life will be a topsy turvey mess but I don't care.

Because no man is ever going to hit me again.

So thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

OP posts:

PurplePidjin · 03/02/2013 05:14

Congratulations

You have done the right thing, even though it won't feel like it for a while

googietheegg · 03/02/2013 05:30

Well done you, you are very strong and setting the right example to your children. Keep going forwards

PotteringAlong · 03/02/2013 05:32

And what a strong message, what an awesome example you've just given your DC for the future about what they are worth fans how they deserve to be treated.

Go you :o!

NotYouNaanBread · 03/02/2013 05:39

Congratulations and hugs - you've done a really brave and right thing.

Original poster

Chubfuddler · 03/02/2013 05:50

Thank you. All of you. My op made it sound like I was really sorted and no nonsense and he just hit me so I left him. I wish. It's been going on for years.

If anyone reads this who is where I was a week ago, a year ago, five years ago - you will get support on mn. Please post. Don't be me. Don't be proud.

OP posts:

4amInsomniac · 03/02/2013 05:56

Well done! Hold on to that feeling in the tough days that you well have to go through now. Try and remember that few people leaves their husband thinking that they well be much happier immediately; it is only longer term that you feel the benefit.

Bossybritches22 · 03/02/2013 06:06

How wonderful, remember -baby steps now after that HUGE leap into your new life..

All the very best of luck, & a big un-MN hug for you all.

MidnightMasquerader · 03/02/2013 06:10

Wow - you have done an amazing thing. The rest of your life starts now. :)

CabbageLeaves · 03/02/2013 06:36

You brilliant strong woman. It takes courage to leave. Good luck in your future. Life will be chaotic short term but the long term is now filled with hope.

Your children may not understand or appreciate the situation (not sure how old they are) but they will be calmer, happier and better for it in 12months

I hope you get support - you can talk to the police DV unit and just get advice on 'what if' future situations you know.

Original poster

Chubfuddler · 03/02/2013 06:46

Ive done it all properly from that POV (at last). Police were called, he was arrested, cautioned as no previous but it is all recorded. He can't dodge what he did (anymore).

OP posts:

CabbageLeaves · 03/02/2013 06:55

I'm so pleased. Solves a lot of future problems of denial and making out you're making it up etc

cafecito · 03/02/2013 06:58

well done chub

really I am so pleased to have read this. I was once a poster on these threads (namechanged)

I finally left, after 6 or 7 years of hell

my life has been chaos for a good year and a half I would say

but I feel alive again inside, I feel strong that I could finally make that leap, and I know DS is safe. The housing chaos, the finances, yes messy messy to start with but none of that compares to the sudden bright sunlight on your horizon, to opening the door to the rest of your life and putting one foot in front of the other- honestly, well done.

You will have dark days, pressure, you may even 'forget' what it was like - but you know deep down you have done the right thing and something that takes an awful lot of bravery, strength, courage to do

cafecito · 03/02/2013 06:59

alas I didn't do it properly many times there were arrests and I said 'no no I don't want to make a statement' ridiculous. well done for having your head screwed on

AThingInYourLife · 03/02/2013 07:13

Well done you :)

MrsMangoBiscuit · 03/02/2013 07:15

Well done Chub, you have my respect, especially for finding the strength after years, that really does take some courage. Well done.

AllOverIt · 03/02/2013 07:20

Yey! This is the start of a whole new life

SPBInDisguise · 03/02/2013 07:22

Well done chub! Xx

lemontruffles · 03/02/2013 07:24

What you have done chub can only be done by someone with great courage and strength and wisdom, who has huge love for her children, and, ultimately, great respect for herself. These are the strengths that will now see you through the unsettled times ahead into a new, brighter, happier, stronger future for you and your children.

You are an amazing woman.

SPBInDisguise · 03/02/2013 07:24

TisILeclerc · 03/02/2013 07:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

11Plustrauma · 03/02/2013 07:34

massive well done

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 03/02/2013 07:36

Well done. Making that decision must have been very hard, but you know that it was right. You should feel very proud of yourself :)

QueenofClean · 03/02/2013 07:55

Well Done

AbigailAdams · 03/02/2013 08:16

Well done Chub. Very brave woman.

Even though you didn't post you still got support from MN. I wonder how many other people lurking and reading have their lightbulb moment and understand and find the courage to leave.

Snazzynewyear · 03/02/2013 08:19

Flip

1 2 3 4 5