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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What to think to this email?

58 replies

sparklyjumper · 03/02/2013 00:59

Checked at 12 there was a message at 10.30pm saying he's sorry for everything he's done and all the misery he's put me through I deserve someone better and this is the last time me or anyone will hear off him. I've tried to ring but no answer I'm sure he's fast asleep or probably even laughing at me but what if he's not? Do I just leave it until morning?

OP posts:
Lueji · 03/02/2013 01:03

Well, if he has done anything, it's too late.

If he hasn't, then you not bothering to chase him will give him a clear message.

Or call the police and let them wake him up at his home. If he's ok, it will be registered as him hassling you with threats (which is what he did).

Sunnywithshowers · 03/02/2013 01:03

Call the emergency services NOW. Just in case.

EllieArroway · 03/02/2013 01:04

Emotional blackmail. If someone's going to kill themselves they don't announce it beforehand.

Don't fall for it.

bodencatalogue · 03/02/2013 01:05

Without the the backstory impossible to tell but you need to ring the police and give them the full details.

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 03/02/2013 01:05

Call 999? If he's done anything you need to ring them, if he hasn't they will give him a bollocking and he won't use that particular blackmail technique again.

A friend of mine stayed in a shite relationship for 3-4 yrs more than she wanted to because her "D"P threatened this, she's now 10 yrs with someone lovely (2 children) and guess what - the other fella is still hale & hearty...

Original poster
sparklyjumper · 03/02/2013 01:07

And I don't think he's trying to get back together as since my last post there's been a couple of emails back and forth I've put my point across but he still blames me so I asked if we can just agree to disagree and not speak. To which he just says he's fed up. His message has made me very uneasy.

OP posts:
catladycourtney1 · 03/02/2013 01:08

He won't have done anything, don't worry. But I would still ring him an ambulance, let him explain to them what a twat he is. If he's basically said he's going to hurt himself, you aren't wasting their time if he hasn't - he is.

Sunnywithshowers · 03/02/2013 01:08

Ellie that's a myth about suicides. Some do, some don't.

Sparkly call 999. Hopefully it is just emotional blackmail.

Lueji · 03/02/2013 01:09

He's just trying to make you feel guilty, feel sorry for him and run after him, checking if he's ok.

Ex at some point "had" a knife on his throat, because I had left with DS. It was quite funny when he showed up next saying "I didn't kill myself".
what a shame

SpringBulbs · 03/02/2013 01:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sparklyjumper · 03/02/2013 01:12

Sorry can't link to previous thread with backstory as on phone, he ended it not me, I know I should ring emergency services if he is bluffing I don't want to make a fool of him. Fuck sake.

OP posts:
SueFawley · 03/02/2013 01:12

We seem to have a new thread about this guy every few days.

Hopefully he hasn't harmed himself, and you'll FINALLY realise what a manipulative and abusive twunt he is after this latest episode and stay far, far away from him. As so many here keep advising you to.

NatashaBee · 03/02/2013 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lueji · 03/02/2013 01:18

if he is bluffing I don't want to make a fool of him

Really? Why? He is a fool.
He has just managed to make you keep awake until at least after 1am with worry about him.

Even if he was going to kill himself, he should have the decency to let you have a good night's sleep.

And if you don't send the emergency services, then if he did do something you'll always feel guilty that you didn't.
And it's their job, not yours to run after twats possible suicides.

Lueji · 03/02/2013 01:20

Ah, and when you call 999 (come on, you have to), make sure to tell them not to wake you up to tell you the outcome.

darksideofthemooncup · 03/02/2013 01:24

I would lay bets that he is fast asleep whilst you are up worrying about him. Bollocks to making a fool of him, he shouldn't have sent you the text in the first place.

Casmama · 03/02/2013 01:35

If he's bluffing then he is making a fool out of you.

Whether or not he is bluffing he is definitely trying to manipulate your emotions. By disengaging from his power game by informing emergency services you either call his bluff or prevent him doing one thing stupid- win win for you.

Original poster
sparklyjumper · 03/02/2013 01:38

Rang 101 they are going to send an officer round to check he's safe and well. I don't know why he's so unhappy he ended it I'm sure he's fine

OP posts:
LittleChimneyDroppings · 03/02/2013 01:42

You did the right thing op.

Original poster
sparklyjumper · 03/02/2013 01:47

Either way its an awful thing if he was just feeling a bit low and said a stupid thing he's going to feel an idiot. I didn't pick that email up for an hour and a half it was very out the blue

OP posts:
Casmama · 03/02/2013 01:53

If he was feeling a bit low and said a stupid thing then he will feel an idiot because it will be blatantly obvious he was being a drama queen and it is important that he knows that you not chuck about statements like that and hopefully he will think twice before doing it again.

If the alternative is true then you have one everything you can.

tallwivglasses · 03/02/2013 02:27

Oh God, just block the twat.

potatopotato · 03/02/2013 02:28

Have you.heard anything?

Lueji · 03/02/2013 09:03

He probably ended it to make you run after him.
And was bitterly disappointed you didn't.

Or he has depression, but then you are not responsible for his mental health.

wordyBird · 03/02/2013 09:42

He's selfish, lies like breathing, and manipulates people for a pastime ( earlier thread )

sparkly, you did the right thing. It's time police had a word anyway. Hope you got some sleep.

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