The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

green you've done really well.
I reckon I've done about 20 AF days pout of 28, including tonight, so am pleased with that. I can live with that level of drinking, but will try for even better in Feb

Hi brave babes, sorry not managed to read thread today but hope everyones doing well with the last few days of dry January & hope all babes doing the 5:2 have got on well. Back to work for me today after week off and it was fine! Was so anxious about it but line manager in annual leave so that helped & day quick & busy. So hoping for good nights sleep as don't work Tuesday's so normally that helps with sleep knowing no work next day Night night babes xx

morning babes - im so sorry but im in a right mess, have been on a fortnight bender, dont know why, took my eye off the ball and it has just kind of happened, im so so sorry i feel dreadful, look worse and im soooo down i cant begin to describe it - dh is very worried and pretty angry, im shaking, i feel sick and my back hurts - i feel utterly desperate.

im so sorry ive let everyone down please forgive me - im so sorry for the 'me me me' post, i just feel rather alone atm and need your help.

i have decided to get through today at work (dh thinks alot of this is because i have taken on to much) and tonight im going to an AA meeting - i simply cannot carry on like this.

Jesus you have not let anyone down. You have been so inspirational, it's true but you are not responsible for any of us. Well done, my lovely, for coming back and 'fessing up. That took courage and you will beat this.

Do everything you can now to get back on track. AA meetings, posting here every day if it helps and just taking it ODAAT. I expect your dh is scared of it going back to how it was but you know now. You know. For sure. You cannot drink - it just poisons you and makes you feel shit.

We are all here for you. Keep posting. Lots of love x

jesus just posting quickly to let you know you've been heard.

to read this but you have done this before, and you CAN do it again. one tiny, tiny step at a time.

Lots of love x

JWN I'm so so sorry - we haven't spoken, but I wanted you to know that you (and the wonderful mouse) have been responsible for a lot of us improving our lives and relationships, through your honesty and whole-heartedness, I'm sure so many of us will be on to tell you that, probably for the rest of the day. Please, please don't be too down on yourself, you know what to do, you've done it before, and you've helped us do it. Climb out of it, you know you can. You've shown dd and dh that you can do it, you did it before. We wouldn't be human if we didn't lapse and life would be perfect wouldn't it? But it isn't, it's stressy and difficult and it's just too easy to drop the reins. Jump back on the wagon and rebuild your wings on the way up. I'll be thinking of you today. xxx

oh faire, thank god someones here! i feel worse than i have ever felt before, tbh, not far off from jumping off a bridge, i simply am at rock bottom (again)

thanks you lot! the tears are falling.

i feel an absolute failure

JWN I really have to dash out in 5 mins but wanted to send you a huge hug. So many of us will know how you feel right now (I know I do) and feel huge sympathy for your situation. You know to do the usual the usual today - pain killers, water, food, vitamins, rest when you can etc but please don't beat yourself up any more than you already have. It's a self-defeating feeling. Try to thing that yesterday is gone, today is a new start and yours to do what you feel able to do.

Others will be on with more advice soon. I just wanted you to know I care and understand. Take care of YOURSELF today. (((((((( x )))))))

Brace yourself Jesus. The Brave Babes SWAT Team are coming in. You will be nurtured and pampered and protected.

You will have mother hens clucking around you, feeding you, wrapping you in blankets and supplying paracetamol and orders to visit the gp.

You will receive love, care and support. Mouse's orders. Nothing but the best for our Jesus.

There may be some rebels freshly oiling the squid but we'll keep them at bay for now

Seriously though, you probably don't realise how much you are loved (warts and all) for just being you. Keep it up, you can and will get there. Be kind to yourself.

Back later if I can find room on the rapidly filling bus.

< suspiciously checks babes hands for oil on way out >

JWN I've not spoken to you before & got to rush of to do school run but just waned to give you a massive hug, the alcohol will be making you feel so so low and depressed, suicidal as it is a horrible drug. Your not horrible. You sound so strong. Going to work today will probably help to distract you & give you some perspective. Wishing you love & strength to get through the next few days ((((( xxxx )))))

and faire is spot on. You've come back on here and that IS part of your steps to recovery again.

Don't worry for the moment about why this happened - there's plenty of time to analyse that later. For the moment think of yourself as being in the emergency room, and focus on doing something good every minute and every second - absoloutely anything that will take you away from the poison that you have been drinking.

It is not surprising that you feel so terribly dreadful, physically and mentally, (and lets leave the emotional side of this for a bit). Your body is unaccustomed to what you have put it through over the past couple of weeks, and if you dh is right and you've been overworking it, then you probably weren't in the best place to start with.

But you know, and I know, and others know, that little by little, with some gentleness and care you will come out of this pit. You don't have to try and scrabble out of this slippery place on your own. There are plenty around you who will gently, but strongly lean in and give you a helping hand. Some of us will even (metaphorically) get in the pit alongside you, so you can stand on their shoulders to get out. So use us, GO TO AA, let you dh help you and encourage you, talk to him (not about why it happened, but how you are going to get better NOW), let your friends help you.

Can you bear to read the first thread that you posted? Can you map out what you did then that helped you to find your way? Treat it with as much rigour as you would treat any work project. Get focused, get planning, order in all the juices / teas and food that you know are good for you, and will help you to heal. Have a schedule of AA meetings to go to (even the crappy one in distant far away towns). Ignore work and focus on yourself - you are the most important project in your world at the moment.

And know, from the experience of your own body, that however difficult and awful and tough this seem this morning, you can feel better, you will feel better. And then you will have learned some other new things in this great experiment of life - you will have learned that maybe the danger still lurks, you will have learned that you still have the inner drive to overcome it, you will have learned that all around you are people who want to be on this journey alongside you, you will have learned that even when the worst comes to the worst and you accidentally (or deliberately) jump into the black pit that even still all is not lost.

JWN
It's fantastic that you've posted. I so recognise what you say about taking your eye off the ball. You're doing the right thing. Keep us close and get to a meeting tonight.
Honesty will get you through this.

JWN just a hug and hand to hold, the other wonderful babes have said it all. Keep posting x

jwn

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad time. I think that everyone here looks up to you and is more grateful than you can know, that you started this thread.

Maybe take a nice comfy seat (I'll shove someone off for you) and be pampered. Barry is staying in his tank.

Look after yourself. x

jesus how you doing babes - am here (catering job - computer on). Make sure you eat, keep up your blood sugar, plenty of tea xxx

thank all you so much! i feel the cloud is slightly lifting, i have spoken to a fantastic lady on the AA helpline, organised which meeting im going to tonight, had a brief chat with dh (supportive and wonderful as always), still feel horribly sick and dear god you see my eyes
i didnt sleep at all last night and i feel very fragile, not just in a physical sense but mentally too, its like ive crashed and burned and im so very tired, its as if i have a self destruct button, i have to pull myself out of this.

i will doing the 'drill' later, will get all the nice soft drinks in again, use all the support i can find and

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

I'm with you Jesus. TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING

JWN it sounds like you need rest - any possibility of getting any?

It sounds like things have got to much and you've fallen back on old "coping" mechanisms to get through the tiredness, stress etc. Painful reminder they DONT work. Time to put yourself first again as Venus says YOU are your biggest project right now.

greeneyed, you may well be right, or of course it may be that im just bloody stupid i dont remember a 'reason' for picking up, i just did my reasons for giving in and putting it back down are much clearer, well, to me anyway - i feel like absolute deep fried dog shite today, i feel defeated and exhausted and keep crying, oh yeah, picking up that first one was such a good idea

well, im off to work now, for what use i will be today im trying very hard to keep the mantra in my head of ODAAT, hourly proberbly today if im honest! thaks for the support this morning babes, i needed it like you would not believe! see you all later

L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Am with you too JWN, today I will not be drinking!

old friends and new - thank you! XXX

De-lurking (you may have known me as bibbitybobbityhat) to say enormous hugs to you JWN ((((( ))))) [I have quite literally never done that before on Mumsnet!]. You will get through this my love you really will and I mean that. Everyone is here for you X

That sneaky bastard JWN. Total compassion from me, and you remember your own advice, as hard as it is not to, please don't beat yourself up too much. You can do this. Think a few of us who have been well for while have once upon a time tested ourselves, just the one won't hurt. I did, just the one led to half a lite of vodka within a week.

Dry those eyes, you are loved and so very brave to fess up as Faire says. I'm really upset for you but know that you will get that boing back.