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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/01/2013 17:50

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! Grin)

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

OP posts:
guggenheim · 09/02/2013 11:15

Morning babes,

joey sounds like you did pretty well with the ww. I'm quite impressed because I know that I couldn't cope with a 2am bedtime anymore!

green hope the new meds work out. I know that you have mentioned the ADHD before but I wasn't quite sure if you have it or a dc. That must make it hard to switch off. Hope the sleep improves. Best wishes for you.

Hi moomin and koala and clutter

koala what is honesty alert?

I saw some friends last night and it was all ok. They were drinking, I wasn't. I had my usual 5 mins of fear and then it didn't matter anymore. There's a sort of tipping point in the evening when you realise that people are proper tipsy and being a bit daft, by that point I start to feel pleased that I can follow the conversation and will remember it in the morning.

determinedma · 09/02/2013 11:25

mouse how is nemo this morning? is he still drinking from a cup?
newmoomin welcome back and thank you for being part of creating this refuge.

I am just back from hospital with Richard. I can't write about it just now. He has gone to his old flat now - with bottle of wine - to pack his stuff anf then I will bring him to mums tomorrow. He desperately needs help - and so do we. Hospital have told him not to stop drinking this weekend or it will kill him.
doctor on Monday if he is still with us!

ohcluttergotme · 09/02/2013 13:07

Sorry to hear that things were quite difficult alias sounds like under really difficult circumstances you managed really well Smile Guggs I have only ever once managed that good feeling of seeing everyone around me getting silly drunk & I'm managing but then cos I thought I was doing so well rewarded myself with wine & it all went disastrously down hill Sad Well done for managing & must be amazing having no hangover today! green so sorry that your struggling just now, in my work I look after children with ADHD and it is complicated and no one fix cures all, hope that your meds settle down & you start to feel more like yourself soon Smile
MA sorry your having such a shit time, hope your db & your family get the help you need
Hope all other brave babes managing, little boy just shouted me to come see the size of his poo!! Joy oh joy x

NewMoomIn · 09/02/2013 14:29

Hello all. So nice to start posting again. Ma I remember you so well from previous times. Love to all. Mouse I can't wait to hear from you... although you might be cross after all this time xxx

NewMoomIn · 09/02/2013 14:34

Still here Mouse! For some reason I'm struggling with my phone and losing stuff! xxx

obrigada · 09/02/2013 15:59

Moomin Am I thinking u were Red? I used to be desiretochange

obrigada · 09/02/2013 16:00

Moomin Am I right in thinking u were Red? I used to be desiretochange

Mouseface · 09/02/2013 16:15

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

RED!!! (Moomin)!! - well, hello you! Fantastic to have you back , no matter the reason, it's just great. You have been missed, I'm not cross, you dafty, I had just wondered where you'd been. The last time we spoke, we talked about how things with your DH. Great that you feel you can come back to us xx

Ma - Holy shite lovely. I have no idea how you must be feeling right now other than shit scared and emotionally drained. You are so strong. Keep going but for YOU and mum okay? You can't stop him getting off his face and killing himself today or tomorrow. He's been told. Again and again. Your job is done. Please, self preserve now. For YOU xx

Greeny - sorry you're feeling terrible. I hope it's short lived, sounds like you are not having the best of times xx

Gugg - I love this I saw some friends last night and it was all ok. They were drinking, I wasn't. I had my usual 5 mins of fear and then it didn't matter anymore. There's a sort of tipping point in the evening when you realise that people are proper tipsy and being a bit daft, by that point I start to feel pleased that I can follow the conversation and will remember it in the morning. Smile xx

Nemo - well, we've worked out how much he needs to drink to match his pump/tube feeds and so far he's about a 1/3 of the way in.... we need to keep saying for him to drink. He was settled over night and didn't eat until gone 11am.

I, on the other hand had the night from hell. Woke at 2am ish in a back spasm, managed to deal with it, could reach my meds and managed not to need any help.

Come 7am, the world was on fire and I was in the middle of it. I got another back spasm but was facing the wrong way so couldn't turn to reach my meds. I had to lie there waiting for my back to stop spasming (not a word is it?) to try and reach some morphine. It took 40mls+, 8 diazepam, 800mgs of ibuprofen, 60mgs of codeine and paracetamol just to be able to lie still.

I couldn't get hold of DH for hours. When I did he seemed a bit fed up if I'm honest... I feel such a burden today and the pains coming back but I can't take them without wanting to sleep.

Anyway, I guess that Nemo is doing so well bless him, his cough and cold are bugging him too so he's not slept well but held my hand for most of the night.

DD had a fab time at her friends house and has just come in and said she's going to look after me, and Nemo keeps holding my hand like he did all night. They know don't they that you're not 100%.

Sorry not to NC everyone, I'm, shattered. Hope it all makes sense too, serious amounts of drugs whizzing round my body!! xx

OP posts:
determinedma · 09/02/2013 17:34

Oh mouse that is one huge amount of meds. How the hell do you manage. You are wonderful.
moomin I didn't realise you were red. I remember you very well

Mouseface · 09/02/2013 18:13

Ma - my body is just used to it, I don't always have to take that much but I have to when I'm that bad Sad

OP posts:
aliasjoey · 09/02/2013 19:54

mouse glad to hear Nemo is taking his feeds! Surely your DH is just fed up with your pain, not with YOU ?

Another boozy night, almost everyone else is drinking except me - I am making myself wait till after we've eaten dinner. It is REALLY hard, but I will do it. So difficult watching everybody knock back the wine Envy

determinedma · 09/02/2013 20:03

Well done alias keep at it. You are doing really well

Mouseface · 09/02/2013 20:06

Joey - you're right. But it comes across that he's bored of me being so needy and pathetic.... There are times when I think he'd e better without me and my unpredictable bedridden mornings.

Also, YOU'RE the one who's not going to be as hungover if at all tomorrow! Smile

OP posts:
determinedma · 09/02/2013 20:18

Oh mouse don't think like that. I'm not condoning him being irritable with you but he has all the worries you do over nemo and the worry about you. Of course he will get down at times. But he loves you. - it shines through your posts about him. You guys seriously need a break and some good times together

determinedma · 09/02/2013 21:47

Well as I feel as if I am the only passenger on board tonight, so I'll go to bed. Hope u are all ok

Twogoodreasons · 09/02/2013 21:55

Evening Babes! A good night here, I think. This is my first attempt at controlling my drinking and I see a lot of folk on here are kicking the WW totally into touch. I hope my posts are not unhelpful to those quitting completely, but I think I have to try this first and see if I can do it. If I fail I'll get an annual bus pass!

Anyway - came home from stressful day at work and did some domestic jobs. Then one bottle of beer and 2 glasses of red wine with my meal. I am now feeling tired and sleepy, but I am still in control and won't be having any more. Previously I would have polished off a couple of large G&T's and the best part of a bottle of wine by now!

Off to decorate buns for DD's party tomorrow.

Twogoodreasons · 09/02/2013 21:58

Sorry Ma crossed posts (slow typist)- I'm here. I hope your weekend passes calmly for you all. X

aliasjoey · 09/02/2013 23:33

We're all sitting around chatting. Friend A is quite a heavy drinker, and already several glasses down.

Friend B (who also likes a drink, but not in the same league) notices that Friend A is drunk, and I'm only having water, says "But that's your job Joey!"

Shock first I'm really angry, how dare she - she's no angel herself and smokes with a young baby in the house!

Next Blush what kind of fool have I made of myself in the past to deserve that comment?

Mixed emotions, feel cross, embarrassed and sad. Confused

venusandmars · 10/02/2013 00:01

joey never mind about what happened in the past - just look how well you are sticking to your plan TONIGHT. You're doing really fab, in such difficult circumstances. Be proud of yourself Smile

venusandmars · 10/02/2013 00:02

ma [sad} to hear about Richard, sending thoughts across the water to you. Sleep well x

venusandmars · 10/02/2013 00:03

moomin lovely to see you posting.

NewMoomIn · 10/02/2013 00:25

Yes I'm Red. Weirdly I've been dark haired for a long time but just gone red again! Must be time to come back! Am all good with DP. Been well over 2 years now... We're hoping to marry this year. Wish us luck! Love to all xxx

aliasjoey · 10/02/2013 01:21

Thanks venus

It's been a weird evening. I'm a bit drunk (being honest on the Bus and all) but not as much as would usually happen in these circs.

And there were a lot of emotions and anger flying about from everyone, and I think alcohol had a lot to do with it. (Eg. one friend suddenly started grieving over a death, and another was obsessing about a row he'd had with his girlfriend.)

Friend B who I mentioned earlier made another comment about my drinking Shock and then in the same breath said she'd heard I was cutting down, and really admired that. I need a hug, I feel quite vulnerable. Normally these remarks would make me feel defiant and resentful - now I just feel confused and embarrassed.

Sorry for the me, me, me post - I just wanted to get it all down before going to sleep.

Joey

Fairenuff · 10/02/2013 10:29

Morning all Smile

Been away for a bit so not caught up properly. I think it was Two who posted about having liquorice tea. That's my fave too, so yummy. I have peppermint and liquorice all the time, is that the same one? Ma been thinking about you, your Mum and Richard. Hope things are at least bearable for the moment x

Anyway, I've been waiting for the 'right time' to post about my roofrack riding, controlled drinking, no drinking and will try to explain about it now.

During January there were so many babes trying to give up completely that I didn't think it appropriate to share my tactics because they might not be suitable for others and I didn't want to 'derail' anyone.

What I do is this. I make that decision in the morning, as I've said before and I stick to it by using all the strategies I learned on the bus. Now it's easy, tbh, if I've made that decision, I just don't drink. I know it sounds simple and it won't be for everyone but I just persevered until it sort of stuck and now I can do it, no probs. I just make sure I don't get seduced by the 'whisperings' of the ww and recognise them for what they are!

Anyway, when I do drink I decide to have one glass, or two. I don't leave anything to chance. I make that decision and stick to it. This is much harder to do once I've had the first glass, and for many it will probably be impossible, which is why I don't recommend it if you have no 'off' switch.

I have that one drink, or two and then I do something different. Go into a different room, go outside, have a bath, change my clothes, drink tea or coffee, go for a walk, hoover the house. Whatever. I mark the change with a complete change of activity.

After doing this over quite a period of time, I've managed to be able to do it without having to make such a drastic change. So, now, I can just put the wine down and put the kettle on. This is much more like 'normal' drinkers and I suppose I'm just copying what they do.

So that's it really. No miracle cure. No special tricks. I just want that more than I want a hangover. I feel good about myself when I don't overdo it. I feel happy that I made the right choice.

Hope all that doesn't come across as smug, it's not meant to at all. I've said before that I don't think I had/have an addiction, I think for me it was habit and with all the help, advice and support from you amazing babes, I've managed to change that habit. One day at a time.

Now I am always mindful and, thanks to you lovely lot, I couldn't ever go back to how I was (luckily) because I am just too aware now.

Love to all, back later x.

ohcluttergotme · 10/02/2013 10:59

Aw alias so sorry that your having a difficult time & feeling worried about your friends comments. It sounds like your doing amazing in changing your behaviour, use the comment in a way to help you to not be that person again. This is what I find difficult in that my friends expect me to be the drunk, crazy one & it's so hard to change that when everyone expects it xx

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