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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/01/2013 17:50

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! Grin)

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

OP posts:
mountains · 07/02/2013 20:57

Hello everybody!

I have been lurking for a very long time, on and off, and I thought I'd finally climb aboard the bus this evening, as I am on day 4, and was having a bit of a wobble earlier. I have wine in the kitchen, and had made up my mind to have a glass tonight -to apparently celebrate the fact that these few alcohol-free days have meant that my liver no longer hurts... (it's not a metaphor... it really was hurting and has kind of stopped now... I know... How awful!)

I was going to get a glass, but made myself some tea instead and came to this thread and thought it was probably time to get posting; as some sort of commitment to sobriety, because I'm starting to worry about my health tbh. I had LFTs 6 months ago and a liver and kidney scan 4 months ago and all came clear, so I'm just going to think that nothing bad can have happened since, and I just need to keep on not drinking...

While I'm at it I'd like to say thank you for all the very useful bits of advice I have picked up over the months.

I was sober for about 5 years once, with the help of Allen Carr; it ended about 3 years ago. I think I have unresolved relationship issues... Might go on the relationship board tomorrow! Grin

Thanks for reading; at least posting has kept me safe for tonight... Smile

Best of luck to everybody!

mountains · 07/02/2013 20:58

(Oh this IS the relationship board already. : p)

Twogoodreasons · 07/02/2013 21:26

So, I went out for a meal for DD's birthday and had two glasses of wine. I know a lot of people here are are trying to completely give up the booze, but I'm trying to develop strategies to help me to enjoy a glass or two occasionally and kick the every night habit.

I ordered sparkling water so I didn't guzzle the wine and then I've come home and not opened a bottle - result! I'm rather pleased with myself. Smile

I have also discovered a delicious new beverage - liquorice tea. If you like liquorice, you will love it. It is surprisingly sweet and delicious. I think it will be my new diversionary drink.

mountains it seems many of us have relationship issues or child stresses to deal with so feel free to share and welcome aboard!

Mouseface · 07/02/2013 21:59

Welcome Mountains Smile Two is right, this thread is all about life, love and laundry, as well as booze! Grin

Ma - thank you so much, I love that analogy, the ashes, blowing them away........ that's what I need to do. The memories will never go, never leave my heart let alone my head. The pain creates the memories...... the laughter, the love, the fact that tonight Nemo is here, with us, is all I need to keep moving forward. One shadow at a time. Smile Thank you lovely lady.

Tonight, he is in our bed again, sweating and coughing but not with a temp and he's stopped resessing (chest going up/down or in/out rapidly) and I'm happy that he's settled.

So lovely Babes - I am going to bid you goodnight and turn this thing off until tomorrow when I WILL READ THE INFO THURSO SENT ME I PROMISE!!! Smile xx

DD is 14 tomorrow. 14. Fourteen. Wow, I remember when she was 4. Smile

PS - Joey - have you ever tried Citalopram? I think you need to go and talk to your Doc about how your anxiety is really. I mean REALLY affecting your every day life. Every hour. Please. Even if you start making lists of when you feel nervous, anxious, worried, scared... see if there is a pattern? Even something as daft as your menstrual cycle? Something is triggering your attacks. I'm worried about you, I think you need some more support than you're getting now. xxxx

Night all, sorry not to NC everyone...... Be safe.

OP posts:
ThisIsMyTime · 07/02/2013 22:22

Here I am after messing up week one and here I start again. Here is the truth behind my drinking two and a half years ago my dad nearly died i started drinking then whilst he was in a coma for 10 weeks my dad is now 73 (with numerous health problems) but is doing ok . I now find it difficult to put the bottle down wen I start as all those memories come flooding back. I know I should be thankful that I still have my dad and I am dearly but I can't get out of this rut of drinking Wen my dad recovered I rushed to get married as I wanted him there, now the marriage is ok but we have many problems just stuck in one big rut I guess here's to day one tomorrow Again! Thanks for listening babes I have know one else to talk too x

mountains · 08/02/2013 00:45

Thank you Mouse and Two !
Re: my relationship, i wouldn't even know where to start... I suppose working out exactly what the problem is, would probably be the best way to start, though!
ThisIsMyTime it also sounds like your marriage issues are a source of stress at the moment, and might be worth thinking about? Wink But then I think alcohol addiction does not need a reason, I could imagine having a happy life and still having the need to drink every night; It's a physical addiction with broadly predictable patterns (maybe... not sure...) ...So take it very easy on Day 1 tomorrow! See you then! x

ThisIsMyTime · 08/02/2013 08:36

Don't get me wrong i love my husband dearly suppose I've just been through I lot here's to day 1

determinedma · 08/02/2013 09:16

mouse very happy birthday to your beautiful DD. tell the gay friend to stop eyeing up mrmouse and BACK AWAY!

Lemonylemon · 08/02/2013 09:19

Morning All!

{ }
{ }

HUGE hugs for everyone. We're battling all sorts of things, quite apart from the bottle.....

Well, it's Day 12 today, but technically I guess it should be Day 1. I had a glass of wine last night. That is all. So, if you take days absolutely sober, that's 12. If you take the days without alcohol, it's Day 1.

I'm going to bend ze rules about 90 degrees and say it's Day 12 Grin But seriously, after brain dumping yesterday, it kind of brings everything back, which is good - and bad.

Mouse A very happy 14th birthday to your DD.
Thisis It's the fear wot does it. Back up on your horse and start again :)
Mountains welcome!

obrigada · 08/02/2013 10:16

Mouse wishing your daughter a very happy 14th birthday:) We share the same birthday, I turned 50 today!

Mouseface · 08/02/2013 10:26

Morning, tis me, Mouse*

Ma - will do! Grin Thing is, my lovely little gay friend lives nearer than you, should I pop off this mortal coil earlier than expected, I shall give you a head start! Can't say fairer than that? Grin

Well another shite night and now I have germs too. Yuk. Who the actual feck invented snot, I mean really? It's vile! I am so sick of it. My head feels as though it's got a brass band marching up and down.

I'm keeping the boy off school, I want him better for Monday so that we can start next week again so i can sneak out and we can get back to normal.

McDonald's for lunch. I don't care about the diet today, bugger to it! Grin

Lemony - have a fab weekend lovely xx

DD's staying at her friend's tonight.... feels weird but we've got all weekend to see her. Smile

So, what's everyone up to this weekend?

OP posts:
Mouseface · 08/02/2013 10:33

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY LOVELY, LOVELY OBRIGADA!!!!

Do you know something, I don't think I've ever seen anything but pure support in your posts.... you are always so kind and helpful. It's an honour to 'know' you. Smile

I hope you have a wonderful day/weekend, whatever you have planned. Lots of love to you sweetheart xx

OP posts:
Mouseface · 08/02/2013 10:42

Oh and can I have a little proud mum moment please?

We had parent's evening last night and DD is in the top 20 pupils (out of 276) in Maths!! I have no idea where she gets her brains from but it's not me or her sperm donor.... clearly DH doing her homework with her all of these years has paid off! Grin

Her music teacher begged her to take music GCSE, he said she is extremely gifted, the top of her class. Same with drama. Smile

Right, no more bragging, time to get ready for when she gets home. A few balloons? HUGE banner? At 14? Maybe not. I'm thinking a chocolate muffin with a sparkler in it.

OP posts:
FlouncingMintyy · 08/02/2013 10:50

Happy birthday Obrigada! All the best people are 50 Wink. You were the very first person to welcome me to the bus a couple of years ago (when I was bibbitybobbityhat).

And Happy birthday to Mouse's awesome dd! What a girl! You are quite right to be hugely proud, Mouse.

ohcluttergotme · 08/02/2013 10:55

Morning all brave babes wrote a huge post last night & then pc crashed gah Angry was another little thing that almost pushed me over. Well done to your d star mouse and a big happy 14th birthday, hope she has a lovely day. Happy 50th Birthday Obrigada wishing you a wonderful day & year.
I went to my dd's parents evening on Monday mouse and like your dd every single teacher ha nothing but praise for her & all wanting her to choose their subject for we standard grade (or whatever their about to change to!) then the whole issue of the bullying came out. I feel like we given a gift on one hand of how wonderful things are going then a slap on the other with how shit they also are for her. I'm hoping that her guidance will take this into account when discussing the situation with her teachers. I spoke with guidance & he has spoke at length with my dd and the plan at the moment is for all teacher to be aware of the situation and closely monitor & guidance will keep in regular contact with me. I completely agree with communicating with dd mouse I fell pregnant with my dd when I was 20 & in a abusive relationship. No one wanted me to carry on with the pregnancy and from day one I have felt fiercely protective of dd and we are really close which in some ways maybe makes the situation harder?
Wishing everyone luck with the ww tonight, hope everyone can fight off what bugs they are fighting too. My ds is full of snot & more needy just now Sad it's not pleasant Blush love and strength to all brave babes today x

Mouseface · 08/02/2013 11:10

Clutter - wow, you could be me. Me and DD. I was 22 when I fell pg with her and her feckless father didn't want to know, he was too busy shagging half of the town we lived in.

I am v protective of her and always will be. We have a solid bond, a different bond. Like you have I'm guessing. It will make the situation harder because you're so close but that's not a bad thing....... I like the plan that school have put into place, that sounds ideal, let's hope that they follow through with it!

Keep a close eye on her even though the school have promised to watch her, you know her best, more than any of her teachers but things might change for the better too? I hope so. She may clam up for a bit until she gets used to the school asking if she's okay, but hopefully, that will be short lived. At least they took this seriously! Big hugs to you both xx Smile

Thank you Minty Smile xx

I best go and sort Snotty boy out, he's getting worse. Meds time me thinks. I'm freezing too so may light the log burner. Brrrrrr. Cold but dry.

OP posts:
ohcluttergotme · 08/02/2013 11:18

I think put the log burner on mouse as beautiful & bright but brrrr very cold, keep your little mouslings cozy & warm. I saw further back the thread you were worried about Nemo's breathing, his health must be such a worry & with him being full of the cold that won't be helping. Hope you can get him all warm & cozy & his breathing is ok. My little boy seems to be jumping from one cough & cold to the next, we live in Scotland so suppose he better get used to months and months of cold weather! Smile x

FlouncingMintyy · 08/02/2013 11:21

Envy at woodburner.

aliasjoey · 08/02/2013 11:24

Happy birthday to obrigada and mini mouse (Minnie Mouse?!) Your DD sounds lovely, she always seems so mature for her years, helping you with your pain (didn't you say she even washed your hair once?) and a joy to have around.

clutter I hope your DD is feeling more confident knowing people are on her side

thisis you sound 'stuck' in that time when your dad got ill, and you have struggled to move on from that Have you talked to anyone about it?

mouse yes I will make an appointment and talk to the GP when my prescription is due. Proud that I'm getting through these anxieties without resorting to alcohol at least!

curryeater · 08/02/2013 12:03

So happy to hear such lovely stuff about mouse and clutter's lovely clever daughters. Well done, you must be fantastic mothers. And so proud.

Tomorrow MIL is coming for lunch and she drives me nuts. Here is what I am going to do: NOT DRINK. I have been having the odd glass recently and stopping at one. But that is ok when I am relaxed. Because she drives me potty I will drink badly I think, if I start. So, I will get limes and fizzy water; dress up, put my best foot forward, be sparkling, and let her do her goddam worst, I will smile and nod and just let it all go. When she has gone, if I want to, I can have one glass of wine.

aliasjoey · 08/02/2013 12:57

curry that sounds EXACTLY like my problems! I can stick to one or two glasses when I'm on my own - but when with MIL the control goes out of the window! well done you for recognising it Smile

determinedma · 08/02/2013 13:13

Happy Birthday Obrigada
DS off school sick so my wonderful mum is at our house holding the fort - and doing some housework for me while she's there Grin Result!!
she's a gem

guggenheim · 08/02/2013 13:47

Hi there lovely babes

I love hearing proud mum stories,and i love the fact that teenagers are soooooo talented.Realise they can be a major pain in the bum too! Happy B'day to miss mouse and obrigda Smile

Good luck avoiding the mil curry, you may be able to drive her nuts by just not engaging with any crap.

clutter hope the bullying gets cleared up quickly, poor girl.

Big wave to lemony and mountains and joey and everyone one Smile

I'm flipping knackered today but woke up glad to be sober. I worked yesterday and put the toddler to bed and did loads of work for my course. I'm not very good at being all grown up and responsible and the ww sat on my shoulder for a while. I can't say that I cheerful or pleasant company or even very good at any of the things I did but I stayed sober. So: OI YOU, WW- SOD OFF! No place for you on the bus this friday night!

guggenheim · 08/02/2013 14:24

Sorry, should explain that I do work but only on a very part time, supply agency basis. That's why I was whining about being broke and whining about being tired in the same week. sorry!

Will grow up one day.

Mouseface · 08/02/2013 15:15

Nemo is sleeping bless him, he's so exhausted. Sad

Clutter - yes, he has a narrow airway, he's very wee compared to his peers and he looks more like he's 2/3 not almost 4! So, when he gets a heavier cold, like now, he breathes more rapidly, more shallow too. I have to watch him like a hawk, hence the night shifts being harder work. Smile

Log burner is ON!!!

I've made DD a Birthday card, and Nemo has too with a sticker of a goat on, she loves goats so she'll be made up with that.

Thank you for all the nice words you guys, it means a lot that you care. Again, the Bus is a place that's so much more than supporting alcohol related issues. Life Smile

Curry - good for you! she's coming to YOUR HOUSE, on YOUR terms okay? I want you to remember that. Every time you feel your heckles flinch, think about us. Think about me actually, sat looking at you, pulling funny faces, throwing snot balls at her that land where she can't see them but you can. Have you seen Drop Dead Fred?

Tomorrow, me and anyone else who's around can be your Drop Dead Fred!! Grin

Stick to your plan, smile, grit your teeth, nod in the places you're supposed to and go with the flow. My mother is the same.

DH said that I've been off since I told her to come see us on Sunday for DD's B/day. I disagreed at the time be he's right! I could neck a glass of vodka straight knowing she was on her way but guess what? I'm 38! She's coming to MY HOUSE and I say what goes. So, be Brave okay? Stick to your plan xx

Ma - sorry DS is poorly :( xx but yay for the cleaning childminder! Send her here when she's done there will you please? Grin

Joey - you ARE doing really well sweetheart not getting shit faced to deal with the frightening, unpredictable attacks that anxiety can pounce onto you when you least expect it! I know you're on meds for it, but I'm also glad that you're posting here too and keeping it going, the posting as much as you can.

I really think it helps you! xx

Gugg - thanks for clearing that up! Wink

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