The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

Quick hi to all struggling with drink, families, work and fears.
I am not speaking to dh and CBA even explaining why. I don't need his control issues right now. So instead of going home I have booked a session with the fabulous Derek for a full body massage.

at your full body massage Ma!

ma I love it that your response is to do something that is really, really wonderfully indulgent for you. And so much better than just drowning your woes in a bottle of wine ('cos we know that the wine never drowned them anyway). Do you think the fabulous D could do something nice for me ?

Go ma! What a fab idea. Love it.

Enjoy

Hi lovely babes

Thank you for letting me vent and thank you for your concern, I luffs the bus. I'm fine, just ill and whingy. i can't manage being stoical when I'm ill and I lose all sense of perspective. So instead of it being a bit shit that we are broke my brain goes: waaaaaaaaa! We will be put out on the streets and there will be no food and someone else will have to take ds in and then dh will run off with the cat and then I'll have to turn favours for sailors and I won't earn anything because I'm too old and then my leg will drop off and my head will explode.

Something like that.

Otherwise I am an entirely normal old alcky

mouse I wonder if you have to do it all at once or if you could do a small amount this week and a little more next week? Nothing worse than a big task to tackle. Poor little nemo and poor you.

joey I'm just a big eejit. It's nothing that a good holiday wouldn't put right. How are you lovely?

minty I'd like to see that if you can find it.

malinky Well done keep going. 11 days is enough to really feel the benefits

this hmm you are very hard on yourself,Of course you aren't a bad mum.We're all just doing our best and day 1 is THE place to start.

Waves to venus and two

Ooooh Derek? Tell me more

curry hope you feel better soon

MrsMalinky I drastically reduced my wine consumption at the beginning of January and felt fantastic for the first couple of weeks so I reduced my AD (citalopram) dose from 40mg to 30mg. Within a week I started to feel flat and anxious and I've been feeling like crap ever since then. I don't know how much of that is due to reducing my dose, but I'd caution against rushing in to reducing your dose - let yourself stabilise for a month or two, is my advice.

Mouse my trigger was feeling like shit - tired, flat, exhausted, headachey, anxious. It makes me think 'wtf is the point of not drinking if I don't feel any better for it'. I wanted to drink yesterday and was easily encouraged to do so.

I hope this cranial osteo is able to help Nemo and also give you some closure about all the trauma you and he have suffered.

mouse ((( ))) for you and lovely Nemo. I've missed a lot haven't I?

Sometimes I don't have the words so ill just sit by you and offer you cheese and some hand holding. Don't bottle it up though. You can donut for a short while when you need to just cope ... But longer term you need to think about recovering from the trauma, not just coping.

not that I've managed this myself, I'm all for putting it in the box and locking it

Donut?

Do it.

Slithers into thread all oiled and mellow.I don't care how gay Derek is, he is the man of my dreams. 90 minutes of bliss from soles of feet to top of head and almost everything in between! Also some very funny stories about some of his stranger clients....feel refreshed. Could murder a glass of wine but there's none in thankfully.
Is everyone ok?

Ok here thank you Ma. Your massage sounds delicious. Hey, I just had a thought: you can marry Derek now after yesterday's vote!

But I'm married wail and he has a partner. I will have to settle for getting naked for him so he can lay his hands on my body. Which, let's face it, is more than DH gets

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Thank you all for your kind words... MsGee - I was wondering how I was 'donut'ing! It's to do with Nemo's operations, the fact that he had a missed pulmonary embolism in his lungs and that he had surgical emphysema after his emergency open heart op at 6 months old....

Then the palate op was a fuck up as they didn't close properly (3 months later) so he was back in theatre 3 times in one day to save him from bleeding out, then there was this last op in Nov '12 where he bled out for 6 hours and was in PICU for 2 days instead of going home.

It's all of that and the stuff in between if that makes sense? The trips back and forth, not eating, sleeping, crying so hard that no more tears come out, trying to be 'normal' for DD, DH, the extended family etc.... trying to keep going.

Anyway, we've been put in touch with a lady who can help, a cranial osteopath and she wants some notes. A history if you like. I was supposed to take them to her today after writing them last night but I couldn't drive due to to having to take a shit load more morphine after a bad night with the boy.

We went to school this afternoon to get out of the house and he was fine, still coughing and has a runny nose but they all are and do! It's a snot fest in that place! His immune system is compromised and won't be fully functional until he's about 8/9 years old because of his heart condition. So I'm going to email her the info in a while.

Ma - I have visions of you giving a well oiled Barry a run for his money! I love a full body massage but I can't lie for that long as I found out a few weeks back. Asking the poor wee slip of a girl to help me up, naked from the waist up, to get off the bed so I could go and get some morphine, poor thing. She was lovely about it but I felt awful about it.

Off to put the little monkey to bed and will be back soon. I have to write my list for this lady tonight and ask her how much this will cost too, we may be able to go private, I have to ask that too!

Remind me

ma do you think that Derek could pop round and see mouse?

If there is going to be a big,oiled wedding on the bus then Barry will need a hat.

mouse because I wasn't quite the full shilling earlier I thought that the cranial osteopathy might be for you as well as nemo, then I wondered if it might an idea for you anyway? Would it be very painful for you back and hips if you tried it?

Hey. I'm new to this thread and if I'm honest I've been avoiding reading it.

Because I think my drinking is a problem for me. I can't have one or two . I have to have the whole bottle. Started when my marriage was breaking down. EX was a heavy drinker - every day for our entire 20 year marriage. I could take it or leave it. But now I drink when I'm stressed and I'm very, very stressed a lot of the time right now.

DP thinks if I address why I'm stressed I'll get it under control. I think I need to stop drinking altogether and then I'll address the problems. This is the first time I've told anyone about this. I'm very scared.

No luck with the driveway renting, I've had 2 people ask for £15 a week which is about double the going rate, and more than I can afford on my meagre salary.

And my daughter appears to be developing an eating disorder - has little appetite for nearly 3 weeks, and unfortunately we have not helped by turning it into an issue. GP can't find anything wrong, and its so hard not to get emotionally uptight over it - we are literally doing the classic BBC 2 documentary thing, arguing over it etc

ma please tell us more about Derek, it would really cheer me up!

It sounds lovely Ma. I've put my back out, so I'm trying to persuade DH to give me a back rub. He's currently asleep in the armchair, so it's not looking good!

The sickness seems to have vacated the building! I've managed 6 nights without drinking!! Going out for a meal tomorrow night, so will allow myself a couple of glasses of wine. I'm really enjoying the hangover-free mornings but I'm finding the restraint hard, particularly when I see people drinking booze on the tv. I find myself sub-consciously thinking - ooh that's a nice idea - and then I remember what I'm trying to achieve.

I read an article in The Times today saying that couples who have contrasting drinking habits are more likely to divorce - another good reason to cut-down (unless he doesn't wake up soon and give me that back-rub - in which case I'll divorce him anyway ).

besame welcome and well done for posting here!

mouse it sounds like you have really been through it. It's amazing that you have the time and energy to keep this thread going. It really is a life-changer, it's the only place I've felt able to discuss my issues. Soo a huge thank you.

Oh and yes, more of oily Derek please!

besame you are most welcome.it is hard to admit you need help but this is the right place to be for help and support. It is a serious topic but sometimes we get a bit silly too to give us a breather so....who asked for more about Derek?
Let me see - he has strong but gentle hands, a caring and compassionate nature and a wicked sense of humour. He wears a black shirt and long black shorts and has bare feet. The room is warm and sumptuous with nice music and a mad Gothic candelabra with flickering candles. I love him.
guggs you made me spit my tea out at Barry wearing a hat!

Thank you joey.

Welcome Besame I only jumped on the bus a week ago and it is a great way to start your journey.

evening! sorry not to name check everyone but ive only just got home, stuffed fish and chips in my mouth and now im dog tired and need to get to bed - had a really good couple of days, i feel much more on track now, getting my old 'boing' back, thank heavens!

mouse and ma special hugs to you both!!

thurso and msgee lovely to see you!

btw, reading back, someone said 'only 108 days' or some such bollocks when i first got sober, MIFLAW told me that after i had said 'i had only been sober for 2 days' that to some, that sounded like a miracle! he was so right! and your 108 days for some unfortunates is a dream, a fantasy that will never happen - take each sober day and celebrate it, give yourself some congratulations, for that day you got some of your life back, its a gift to yourself and its very precious and hard won! give yourself some credit, you did something amazing!

Morning all brave babes sorry not to nc but hope everyone ok. Well done to all who managed to kick the ww's butt last and well today is a new day to those who didn't.
Having a nightmare in RL with dd, a girl who went to her primary school and who has anger management issues amongst others is bullying her. Dd has begged me not to notify the school or go round to this girls house as said the last time it made it worse. Yesterday she text to say she was scared to leave school & could I pick her up an hour later when I finish work. I felt I couldn't do nothing so notified the school that my child was scared to leave. They let her leave early & are going to speak to her this morning. She's terrified to go in but I'm going to run her in then my Dad is going to pick her up. I felt a huge huge urge for massive glass of white wine last night. Think the only thing that really stopped me was I actually don't have 1p to my name! Sad times but maybe for the best, the wine would no have helped.
My heart breaks for my lovely, gentle natured daughter. Anyways off I go, I really hope I'm doing the right thing.
Have any of you lovely babes had the unfortunate experience of this? Any advice? Xx

Morning All.

clutter Yes, I've had DS being bullied. Me being me went in with hobnailed boots and bosom hoiked up. I rang the school and asked for a meeting with one of the deputy heads. In our case, one lot of bullying was normal bullying and the other case was racist bullying. I told the school I would not stand for it as my DS had not been brought up in this way and that it was quite disgraceful that the other boy's parents weren't dealing with the situation appropriately. I kept tabs on the situation and kept real pressure on the school to maintain the peace. Also, I told DS to use avoidance tactics like going to the library at lunchtime or to another playground or standing near a teacher. But I would not back down on pressurising the school to actually do be proactive about it. {{hugs}}

Besame welcome - I've not been on the bus long myself, it's very scary actually getting it down "on paper" so to speak.

Mouse yes, I know what you mean about the "bits in the middle" when things are bad. You get support from nurses, doctors etc. when things are in an emergency state and then left to your own devices with the day to day stuff and the total collapse of your normal routine and dealing with the knock-on effects of that with no time to get used to things for a while. {{hugs}}

{{hugs}} to all of you at the moment actually, everyone seems to need them and I'm sorry I don't namecheck everyone on the thread, I'm not ignoring anybody - I'm just a little preoccupied with my situation at the moment, but I do mentally namecheck you all.

Anyhow, I really would have liked a glass of wine last night. But I didn't. It took about an hour or so for the feeling to go. Cherries & berries again. I'd promised myself in the morning that I wouldn't have any alcohol, and so I kept my promise to myself (and mentally my children).

Getting my knitting out helped a great deal. I also watched the programme on BBC2 about the NICU at the John Radcliffe Hospital. It's now been 5.5 years since my lovely man died in one. I found the programme fascinating and oh, the compassion of the staff who work there. But seeing someone in a coma and not ever likely to come out of it, was a little hard. The woman's husband was so upbeat at first and then as the days went on, started to accept that things weren't going as he hoped. That's exactly what happened to me. I thought right up to the night before C died, that he would pull through.

I have to admit that I went to see a medium the night before he died and the medium told me that he could see C and that he was appearing stronger in the spirit world and was nearly over. The next morning I went to the hospital and they had moved C and were trying to tell me that things were bad and I was able to tell them that I knew he was going to die. He died later that day.

Sorry, that was a brain dump. I apologise.....

Oh well, Day 12. Onwards and upwards......