The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

ma I'm sorry about your brother. ((( )))

I'm clinging onto the bus by my nails! Actually it's been ok...

I am trying to be positive so on day 3 I am pleased that I...
Made biscuits with DD (been meaning to for ages but no energy)
Am less dehydrated
Am feeling ... Well not a boing but perhaps a flicker of a mini-boing

mouse hope Nemo is doing ok.

positive and strong thoughts to everyone x

Thanks all. Still at hospital with dad.bro not answering fone. Mum feels so bad for snapping at him but she has done everything possible. Don't know what he will do now...hope not the worst altjo maybe that's the only way to silence his demons

Oh Ma - I can feel the pain in your words...... I also know what you mean about silencing his demons. Maybe there is nothing else for it? Maybe there is no more forward facing roads for him, in his own mind I mean?

Maybe he is so desperate to not feel like he does any more that he had one last attempt at making amends with himself, you, your mum.

No words can take his pain away, I honestly think that he believes he's no longer worthy of his own life anymore. That breaks my heart but it's how I feel when I read what he is doing and how he's acting. We've all seen it in RL or on TV drama/documentaries, people just go so low that they can't get back up again.

I'm also furious with him Ma for doing this to you and your mum. Your dad too! All of you. It's bloody despicable behaviour from a grown man but he's way past thinking of others now isn't he?

Where is he likely to be? In a pub? In a park . Oh Ma I wish we could drive up there and find him for you. You've been stuck with your poor dad for what seems like most of the day...... is everything okay? Just waiting around won't be helping, nor my waffling on about the bad things but I really think you're right, I think he's giving up isn't he?

Sorry for being so honest, I hope you understand why I'm posting this........

Keep focused on your dad, it sounds as though all you can do is be with him for now. I hope you're not there for much longer xx

Hey mouse I agree totally with what you say.he will probably be at the flat he was temporarily sharing with another pisshead. Hen said he wanted out of there because it wasn't helping. I do feel we have failed hi m somehow. Mum is just wonderful, would do anything for anyone and has a host of "adopted" children whom are our friends and friends of the Dcs. They all call her mum and grandma and she would give someone her last pound and go hungry if it would help,but she cant handle this. She spent 23 years married to a violent drunk, then gathered her courage, her dignity and her five children and left him. She is wonderful, a rock for us all and now she is so worried he is going to kill himself and it will be her fault! Fuck, she flew to Hong Kong once to rescue him from a gutter, and did the same in New Zealand to bring him home. My heart breaks for her and for the demon-driven wreck that is my big brother.
On another note, dad is now home, all tests done. Confused, exhausted, bewildered. He gave me a hug...I can't remember that happening before EVER! I didn't really know what to do. All my fixed points have moved. I'm very weary

Joey - did you tell me that you were on ADs? I can't remember....

MsGee - well done you. You've done it before, you can do it again and you WILL if you stick to planning your days, keeping busy, doing the drill etc.............

MrsM - sounding fantastic!! Loving the new you that's starting to appear. You seem to be really enjoying this no necking a bottle of wine a night lark

Jesus Ma - your mother deserves a fucking medal. How the Jeff has she gotten through all of this for so long? Actually, don't answer that, you don't need to. I'm a mother. I know how she's gotten through it and why.

I think the hug from your dad was because he can feel how weary you are lovely lady. I take it your mum missed the funeral today? And the violent drunk is your dad? Life has been rather shite of late hasn't it Ma.

Well, I think it's time you started to think of YOU and your mum needs to do the same. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. There's only so many times you can offer your hand, your heart and your soul to help someone survive...

I think you're bloody amazing to carry on the way you do Ma. All the shit going on in the background and you just get on with it. Day after day, night after night not knowing what the next phone call or text might bring.

I'm sorry for you Ma, that you're going through all of this and then having to deal with your own personal issues (we'll call your DH your issues ) too. You need a bloody break from it all. You need support xxxx

((( ma )))

ma I think Mouse is right, you have to look after yourself - there's only so much you can give before breaking point. Your poor mother too. I hope you manage to get some peace tonight.

mouse yes I'm on ADs but (after 10 happy years on seroxat) have spent the last 9 months on and off, trying to figure out a balance with the side-effects. You've put your finger on it, there's something not quite right in my head. But have reached a block re. medication...

MsG hang on in there, One Day At a Time!

Sorry, this is all a bit me. Yes, the violent, non-hugging drunk is my father when is now a confused little old man suffering from dementia and needing my help. All the years I wished him every kind of horrible death for what he put mum and us through, and now he's lost and old and suffering and you can't hold that bitterness in yourself forever can you?
Mum goes and gets his shopping for him now. If she can forgive, then so must I.
I hope Richard is indoors - its snowing a lot
Sorry for hogging the thread babes. Hope you are all ok

Ma sending you love and support. It's a very tough time for you and your mum but I bet she's proud of you. You've been such a big help to her with practical matters, but also with emotional support. Just being there for her, being able to listen to her worries and share the love you both have for your brother, even though he isn't able to help himself right now, you will be helping your wonderful mum x

ma just want to give you a big hug, wish we could help you x x mrs m you sound amazing, a brilliant example to us all of all the good things sobriety can bring, RESPECT to you x x x

evening! MA - i have no words, just another voice here to say you are not alone, you are a good and decent person and we care!! take care of yourself through all this!!

i have had a good sober day, actually drove into the city of london today as the train journey has always been a big trigger for me and i didnt fancy my chances right now that i could wrestle with the urge to drink and win, so it seemed a good idea, well, it worked so i suppose it was a good idea! , wasnt a bad drive tbh and im doing the same tomorrow but staying overnight in a nice hotel with dh, bit of a 'mini-break' in some ways! its astonishing just how much better i feel with a week of soberity under my belt again, i already feel calmer, less tired, less stressed, more in control, its so nice!

Oh Ma I'm so sorry to hear all that you're going through at the moment. I know how frustrating it is to watch someone killing themselves slowly and fucking up everyone around them. Ultimately you just have to step back and force them to take responsibility for themselves. I watched my dad drink himself to an early death, and have watched my uncle fuck up a great life and family. It's amazing how they both got everyone around them (me included) to facilitate, enable and forgive them for so many years. I hope that you and your mum can take a step back from Richard and the chaos he creates around him. Only he can choose whether he wants to live or die - it isn't your mum's decision or her responsibility (I know it's much easier to say that than to believe it). Big hugs to you (((((Ma)))))

Ma - what a day. Words fail me, you are such a hero.

Thank you all so much. Your support means such a lot when you all have your own problems to deal with.

Ma - I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

I hope so too Ma, with all of my heart, I hope that he is safe, warm and at least for tonight, out of harms' way. I'm sorry you have no idea where he is. I really am. xx

Nemo is asleep for now, I feel awfully drained today.... Doctors review tomorrow first thing for my meds. I'm hoping that he'll be able to give me something in addition to help with the pain. Not sure where else we can go really...... we've done pretty much the entire lot now.

Plus Nemo's nurse is due for a visit. She always tells me how thin and tired I look, good job I like her!

Anyway, goodnight Brave Babes. And, if we can, could we all say a little 'something' for Richard, Ma's brother. Please God, keep an eye on him tonight, I'm sure he didn't plan this path he's on just now, and he's certainly not blameless but he is also a human being. xx

Mia - I had a fitting in a v posh boutique and I think she wanted my kidneys ££ but I thanked her and looked online for something less extortionate.

I found the John Lewis video and measuring guide, which turned out to be the same measurements as the ones the posh lady had gotten, so I called Liverpool as that was the nearest store to me with a fitting service! Why I thought nearer would be better feck only knows

She confirmed that their bras were the same size after I gave her my cms (under bust is 78.5cm/across bust is 103cm) so she said try X and Y bra, which I ordered. They came this morning. I thought the same as you, I've not put inches ON, I've LOST inches so I'm now trying to find somewhere I can get to (remembering my mobility issues, I can't drive far so would have to get the train) that's got a more reasonable range and a fitting service.

The Panache one is lovely, cup fits but the strap around the chest, under my boobage, is too lose as you suspected. Again, me thinks I've been had £££ wise. The shoulder straps wouldn't hold up a daisy in a chain! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thin but the cup felt right. I like a moulded cup, seem free and this one was lovely. Just flimsy!

The John Lewis own brand simply didn't fit against my chest, the cup bit where the wires go are supposed to lie between your boobage and against your sternum. They stand proud so that's going back.

Not only that, I ordered one for DD and her's is shite too!! Bloody John Lewis!

So darling Mia, and all other bra experts, HELP! I reckon I'm still a 32inch chest but have no idea of the cup, maybe a FF/G cup?

I just need to get someone, somewhere to get it right! Why doesn't someone have a company that does that for women?

Anyway, bed! Night lovelies xxx

Mouse these are the two styles I wear. I don't like the full cup look and I like cleavage, so this balconette style suits me. I prefer the firm support of the moulded cup too - less wobbling! The straps still cut into me but they're better than some thin strapped ones I've tried. I've never got a bra where the middle bit sits totally flush to my sternum, but the Freya one comes the closest and is the most comfortable. I used to wear the Fantasie one, but went to a department store (House of Fraser) a few months ago and ended up with the Freya one (I then went home and ordered another in a different colour from the internet) which is actually more comfortable, I think. Have you got a department store near you which stocks Freya and Fantasie.. if so you could ring them and check that they have these styles in before making the journey. Or make a guess at the cup size, order from t'internet and send it back if it doesn't fit. I differ by up to a cup size over the month so if you fluctuate maybe order a FF and a G..

www.figleaves.com/uk/product/FRA-4234/Freya-Deco-Underwired-Moulded-Plunge-Bra/?size=32FF&colour=Nude

www.figleaves.com/uk/product/FE-4510/Fantasie-Smoothing-tshirt-bra/?size=32G&colour=Nude

Loving the boob talk on here tonight. Have been inspired to get my norks measured properly xxx

God knows what is the correct size for my norks. Think 38D?

Getting a properly fitting bra makes a profound difference to your appearance - i always wear mine til they're old and knackered and when I finally got a new one last time it looked as though someone had instantly shaved half a stone off me! It makes a big difference to your posture and back ache too if you've got heavy norks!

Morning babes! Well no boing here, DS up since 4am grrr, it's going to be a long day! DH pretended to be asleep as usual....

Hope you are all feeling a little more bouncy xx

Morning Babes!

No boing here, either green. I slept really heavily last night, and have woken up all sleepy still, and thick headed, still, should wear off quicker than a hangover! No dreams either, which is very unusual for me, long may it last!!!
I hope the Dr's goes well today Mouse, and that you had a rest Ma, and hopping that Richard is safe.

Have good days all
xxxxxx