The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

purps big hug xx a friend once described parenthood to me as relentless. It's true it is relentless - cleaning, cooking, caring, tears, tantrums,illnesses etc etc etc and for the most part - thankless, no wonder it gets on top of us and we dive into the wine (like women up and down the country) . Try not to sweat the small stuff, the houseowrk will get done when you have the energy and the time - can you get DD1 to help? Notice the good things, your wonderful DC, friends, the wind in your hair xx

You let the WW in she is always there in our weakest moments offering to help us out but she is a fickle friend, for today she has left you worse off and is no help at all. Today is a new day babe xx (20 days is bloody brilliant by the way)

baby how did you get on with the nurse?

sorry about my ranting last night! i was just feeling really blergh and then to get a response which questioned my professionalism really wound me up! As you say lots of people jumped in and defended me, so all is well . I have 31 days today which is the longest i have done for ages. I'm sorry people are having a rough time. Money worried are just hideous. I can't be doing with people who witter 'money can't buy you happiness'. no but at least you can be miserable in comfort!! AD's - I have been on venlafaxine for about 10 years now, on and off. I suffered from hideous depression for ever really, and this has been the only thing that has kept me 'sane'. So much stigma but it works - so sod it! Got to go to work now :( so have a great day everyone

Hi babes, green you know the saying be careful what you wish for, wellI have often wish I could get Antabuse to make me so ill it would put me off drink, I know that if I'm told I simply can't drink for a very valid reason then I won't, I know this cos I went through 2 pregnancies without craving a drop. Well yesterday the hospital sent me for FULL bloods to
Monitor any side effects the meds were having on my liver and kidneys, my face went scarlet and I thought OMG I'm gonna get found out!! Anyway they couldn't get any blood from me after 12 attempts so I'm going to see a specialist blood nurse in 2 weeks to get the tests done. That gives me 2 weeks when I cannot touch a drop in the hope of flushing my liver out a bit, is this possible??? So I hoped something could
Stop me in my tracks and this is good enough for now. I also have many many painful tests ahead and most involving sedation so best to avoid alcohol completely. I know it sounds strange but having NO choice makes it easier. I was so relieved when they couldn't my blood I thought get a grip woman. So TODAY I WILL NOT DRINK xx

babyjane it sounds like you have been scared into doing the right thing! 2 weeks will give your body a nice break, although then what happens if the tests come back clear, will you then think its okay to drink again...

Morning Babes,

Sorry that some of us are feeling low. January blues don't help...

emin glad you're feeling better. I read your post and didn't think anything of it at all, don't worry :) I was on that thread with my naked panpipes elf story - luckily no-one has taken exception to that!! And well done on 31 days :)

baby 2 weeks would be a good break - I know what you mean re no option, I was like that with smoking when I was pregnant.

purple hope you're ok

casa are you still around??

I have a sick child at home today. Well, sick or faking brilliantly. All my plans out the window, but the sun is shining :)

Have a great day babes

alias no cos it was a bit of a light bulb moment when your glad a woman sticking a needle in your arm repeatedly and painfully can't get
Blood cos your ashamed of the outcome, thats pretty sick!!!' Also I'm hoping to see a significant change in my appearance and have broken the habit. I've never gone 2 weeks without wine unless pregnant at which point I was bloated and nauseous so I'm hoping that this time I will improve my weight and skin, watch this space..... X

baby the liver is a remarkable organ, and it does have the capacity to repair and regenerate itself (and does this often on a daily basis). However what alcohol does is to inhibit the repair process, which is why heavy drinking causes our liver function to be impaired, and can eventually inhibit the repair so much that scar tissue starts to form in the liver (the early stages of cirrhosis). Once scar tissue has formed, those cells can no longer regenerate and repair themselves and the damage become permanent.

Stopping drinking NOW will give your liver a good chance to regenerate. Help it along by being kind to it (and to yourself) with lots of water, and lots of healthy foods (at least those that you can eat).

purple how are you doing this morning?

I always found that having a few drinks one day triggered my desire for more the next day. So if you're feeling tempted today please understand that it is not your fault, or your weakness. But maybe plan some extra defenses just in case. Make extra sure that you have drinks ready, and some snacks to avoid the feelings of hunger and thirst (that we all solve with alcohol) and especially today ignore the list of things that 'need' to be done. Which ones will really be catastrophic if they are not done today? Which ones can be partly done? Which ones can someone else take responsibility for or help with?

How are you all?
JWN? What's the plan for today? I gloss over all the auxiliary benefits of not drinking, like the cost, because for me, even if I won the lottery, I know I can't drink. The cost is irrelevant!
Had to collect DS last night, so no meeting taking him back tonight, then working tomorrow. I'll try and go tomorrow night, as tempting as an evening at home in front of the fire with my loved ones is, I must prioritise my sobriety.

Wise words Venus and even though they were for Purple they are appropriate for me as well with regards to being overwhelmed by life, haven't had a drink since Saturday night but my problem is not nightly drinking it's once I have started I have huge difficulty stopping.

kotinka I'm day 3 also rubbish but am determined, I'll sit beside you on the bus if you want, 2 rubbish's might make a possible x

Have hovered over the keyboard wondering whether to post or not. I got picked up on the first thread (I think) by Dementedma. Haven't been back as had too much going on.

I haven't had a drink since Saturday night. I never get roaring drunk, but can neither afford the money anymore, or the prospects of ill-health. I can't say I feel better (well, I do as in I don't stink like a brewery, I guess). I'm tired all the time, but that could be DD (5) or my age or both.....

The worst of it is that my Mum has terminal cirrhosis of the liver. Back in March last year, she was given until about September to live. She's still with us and is planning on coming on holiday with us in the summer. But seriously, I can't see it.

Over the past couple of years I have seen her after she's had falls, she's collapsed, she's been sick everywhere, been doubly incontinent, she's been hospitalised on several occasions, had ascites rained off of her abdomen on several occasions (once it was 11 litres), she has been delusional, confused, self-pitying - not necessarily all at once, but these are all things that have happened to her - and by extension to myself, my DS and DD, my siblings and their families. The ripples spread far and wide.

On the upside, with tonight being Day 5, I would have saved nearly £30, which has made me feel and all at once. My mood is also brighter, I think my skin looks a wee bit better, and Tesco "cherries & berries" no added sugar squash with fizzy water is quite nice.......

The downside is that I'm ashamed to be posting this...........

'My problem is not nightly drinking, it's once I've started I have huge difficulty stopping'.

Yes, obrigada I hear that. Me too. Are you trying to stop completely or drink in a more controlled way?

I am trying to stop completely (day 11) as I don't think I can drink 2/3 glasses and stop

I wish I could but I have been down that road to many times. It actually feels easier to just give it up totally.

By the way to those beautiful babes who have been sober for a loooong time, do you think it is useful to count days? When did you stop counting (if you have)? Just curious as I am not sure that counting days is helpful for me (although I know lots of others find it really important and motivating).

Beautiful blue sky and the sun is shining where I am , and ...I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY

Hope you all have a good day.

afternoon! feeling a little brighter here, im having a day at home, just pottering, does me no end of good! im also going to have a snooze in a mo, i feel dog tired, although my eyes are looking a bit better, my god they were red lemony, i feel for you, your post is nothing to be ashamed of, it sounds full of pain, sorrow and lost opportunities and tbh, in a totally selfish way, hearing about your poor mum is just what i need to hear about - im desperate not to follow her down that path and i feel like iv been sailing very close to the wind the last couple of weeks, i have drank and drank and drank, my back still aches, an ache i have managed to ignore for the past week because i was not prepared to acknowledge that i was damaging myself thank you for your post! i wish you and your mum much love!!

L XXX

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

LF tests are so very revealing and I'm glad that mine was so bad because it shocked me. I mean really shocked me. Even though that voice in my head was saying 'you'll be fine, nothing will show up', I knew that was bollocks.

I have minimal scarring on my liver, a very small patch but my most recent LF test showed that all my levels were now normal where before, all indicators that point to alcohol abuse, were screaming and waving in my GP's face.

I'm going back again on Tuesday next week for a meds review (regular occurrence) so I'm going to ask my GP about the damage that my meds are doing to my body. My bowel is fucked, this I already know but I wonder just what other damage is being done with all of this morphine in my system?

Anywho -

Em - MN is one hell of a scary place, were you in AIBU per change? I rarely got outside of this thread, SN children or relationships, as most other places scare the pants off me!!

Baby - rubbish but am determined - exactly! DETERMINED! is far better than CBA. Stopping drinking is one of the hardest things a person will ever do. Stopping any kind of substance abuse is.

The phrase 'substance abuse' often makes people shudder and think 'that's not me' but it is. Alcohol is a substance, and if you abuse it, it causes great harm.

Even just 1 day off the stuff is better than 1 day on it. Alcohol is a nasty, clever, sly and twisted substance that fools you into thinking and feeling so many emotions.

Your marriage can be over after a bottle of wine, you will quit your job, row with your best friend, lie to yourself and other because it tells you to, you can destroy your whole life just by drinking a bottle of wine! Powerful stuff huh?

So, just one day off is a step in the right direction. One less glass, one less night on the sauce, one less regretful, spiteful comment, one less foolish thought, one less wish that life was so much better because alcohol makes you think the grass is always greener.......

It's not. It's really not. Drinking to excess every day kills you. not just physically, but emotionally, mentally and it hurts those around you, even though you might not see it, through choice or not

I'm sorry to waffle on and I have no idea where that all came from, plus it's not aimed at anyone in particular........

I just want you all to be safe and well. xx

Just wanted to say that I posted that without reading first,

Sorry to hear about your mum Lemony, I rememeber you too. Off to catch up now x

lemony so sorry. That must be awful.

Now I have to live with the evidence in front of me of what has been going on.......

Anyway, thank you all for your kind thoughts.

I think my problem has been gathering momentum since my fiance died and the heavy load having my DD after he died and also bringing up DS alone too have taken their toll a bit......

Sorry, this is going to be a bit "me, me, me" until I get past all this "stuff".

Apologies to you all

kotinka you said 'I'm rubbish at not drinking' but lets think about that - there are 168 hours this week. How many of those will you actually spend drinking? Even on a bender I think it was much less than half, and probably on an average 'normal' alcoholic week somewhere between 30 and 40. So even then, I was pretty good at NOT drinking, and I actually have more practice at not-drinking than I do at drinking.

OK, I know you will say that a large proportion of those were night time, but d'you know when I woke up in the middle of the night (really middle of night 2-3am stuff) it was never a glass of red wine that I craved, it was something cold and hydrating, preferably fizzy, and preferably with some salt and sugar (hmm - wonder why Alca Seltzer worked for me....).

And so what I've done is focus on not picking up the first drink of that 4 or 5 hours - I've tried out tactics to help me, I've struggled and ranted and sometimes given in. But the more I've practiced, the better I've got - I've got better at recognising the warning signs, I've got better at delaying things (minute by minute, hour by hour, or day by day), I've got better at enjoying every moment of being sober.

I bet that when you actually think about it, there are a few moments when you feel not very good about your ability to not drink, and in reality you're probably damn good at it.