Hey, it's the Dating thread... number 37

[lubeybooby]

Of we got - all dating chit chat here!

Welcome pink and kickon

I suppose in some ways being older is easier. I am not looking for a life partner or the 'one'. Just a decent bloke to have a caring, good time with, nothing too heavy. At the moment Mr R&R fits the bill.

Hello kickon, sorry missed you earlier amid my very early morning moment of complete agreement with wolf.

So, I keep toying with the idea of doing my PoF profile again for another 24/48 hour fishing trip.

I can't quite seem to make myself get on with it though.

Part of me thinks I'm just going to be too busy to bother very soon - when the snow is all melted and DD is better I'm going to have soooo much to catch up on

But on the other hand I'll be climbing the walls again soon and it would be good to at least get out for coffee at some point after being a hermit for what feels like ages.

Ohhh I dunno.

PinkPeanut ok have had a look

You are so very pretty, and have a slightly mischievous glint in your eye. Great pictures!

Profile content is fine, veers away from too much cliche, not too long, conversation openers etc, thumbs up from me anyway :o you need no pointers. Your confidence should definitely be way way higher than it is.

Lubey, just a question and hope you don't mind me asking, when you do the smash and grab is it a normal profile or an IE one?

Voice, those messages are truly awful. The women must have liked your photo/profile and thought 'ooh just what I'm looking for to father my children'. Being a certain age, my childbearing days are over, but I would hate to be a woman with a ticking bio clock trawling OD sites for someone to impregnate me. No OD when I was in my thirties, thankfully, and it was never my main focus for dating, to have DC's, it just happened.

Watch, your post about 'you'd love to' made me laugh, that's they way to do it. Send a promise back then block em.

Normal profile Scrazy. Just 'dating' - but with 'no committment' as my intention (seperate section they have), iirc.

I figured I'm not exactly after no strings at all (I like actual dates and stuff rather than knock door open door shag) so thought I'd try the dating option.

I have looked for casual relationship/fwb type things on IE in the past though and had it work. I've also used it in the past for a blatant one nighter having been left all dressed up with nowhere to go.

The level of messages just on dating with my smash n grab were difficult enough to keep up with - on IE though it was utter madness!

Thank you so much lubey

I'm trying to be a bit more positive today, think I'll find the time to browse some profiles and send a couple of messages myself if I can.

Ok it looks like I have another runner. Grooming (not the demotion from Mr Grooming) was meant to call me later yesterday. Nada. It doesn't really matter what the reason, I shall make alternative arrangements on Friday.

Voice no words, that is just vile.

Pink I'm always happy to look at a profile too.

Ok Lubey, I might try and smash and grab one night when I'm feeling brave but will need some cracking pics on my new profile. I wouldn't put casual though as I hate casual relationships, seeing as I fell for the last one. Busy this weekend so it will have to wait.

Peanuts you're welcome!

Juliette - his loss eh?

Scrazy - I reckon it's worth doing. At least with the smash n grab method you're not hanging around there for years feeling your confidence wane and then die altogether.

I still miss BC very very much but I liked having the distraction of TT and the other possibles

Juliette I thought he had been sub-consciously demoted already. Didn't he start life as Mr Groomed

May I rely on the wisdom of MN eaters for advice on sending an initial message? I've come across a profile I like the look of...

PinkP, go for it, send a short message and mention something in his profile, try and make it light hearted and/or find something you have in common.

It's nice if they reply but be prepared for him not to.

I've been brave today and sent two - yes, two messages, and added a guy to my Favourites list (which was previously empty).

This is the act of a kind of deperate woman though, as despite living in a city centre and (I think) having a warm and cliche-free profile, I have had virtually no messages.

I'm wondering if it's just my looks? I have very short hair and in my pic I am casually dressed (as I usually am). I'm certainly not arm candy for anyone but thought I might as well put an honest and everyday photo up? It's not a rough photo, just normal. Not showing any flesh. Maybe I just look like a man.

My brother whom I mentioned had also joined PoF and IMO had quite a 'challenging' profile (lots of sarcastic humour, bit abrasive) has got a ton of messages and could conceivably be married with kids by the end of next week.

He says I am being too choosy and should give more guys a chance including those with no pictures and those who write two word messages. Apparently he did this and has stumbled across a 'stunning' trainee solicitor.

The guy I am seeing on Saturday has apparently moved into PoF, he's on there all day and all night too, I keep checking without logging in out of incredulousness and he's always there.

Update from me: boys appear to have gone to school, though not without lots of shouting this morning. But at least they've gone.

My little flirtation has disappeared into the ether (as he often does) and my colleague, who used to refer to me as his best friend, has completely ignored me all week.

On the other hand its hump day, and one of our managers today commented on me being always happy and smiling. So could be worse!

Yeah what Scrazy said. If I message anyone it tends to be quite short, say 4 or 5 lines, mention something or a few things in their profile, maybe ask a question, stuff like that.

When I get messages I like the ones that are as above ^ as opposed to just a 'hi' or reams of copied and pasted drivel.

Tamoo I find a headshot tends to work best as a first pic. They tend to be more eye catching in the online list on PoF which is what most men seem to message from rather than searching.

Thanks lubey, yes my pic in the listings is a headshot cropped out of said 'casual' photo, I don't have a lot of photos to choose from (like other single mothers have mentioned there's just never anyone around taking any), and I didn't want to post older photos because although my figure hasn't changed my hair is much shorter now. I have two photos up which show my face clearly and give a general idea of my build, I think that's enough.

I'm coming to the conclusion that the androgynous hair puts men off, I've got much less response than I did eighteen months ago though my current profile is pretty good if I do say so myself. Also I am surrounded by long haired beauties with semi-pro pics in the search results. Which doesn't help.

I have short 'androgynous' hair, I've never had the impression that it puts people off!

Tamoo, I wouldn't have thought your hair will have a bearing - I've got a very short crop and it hasn't put men off. I will say the POF seems to go in phases though. I haven't had any messages from new men for weeks but have had a flurry this week. No one terribly exciting but I must be shown somewhere more on the site at the moment. Also, don't take too much notice if POF shows someone online, it seems to take forever to update - I have had phone calls with someone who I know isn't sat at comp - and if you use your phone to log in, it doesn't appear to log you out ever (I know this as I show online at night and I am usually asleep well before midnight but show up as online in the middle of the night)
.

I had a nice phone interview conversation today, will see if he contacts me again as I would like to meet this one

About to leave for a coffee with Irishman who's mum was very ill last week. Been speaking for an age and I think he feels a bit lonely dealing with mum issues but I never say no to a coffee (small C)

Widower in contact every day, crazy busy life and I can't pin him down for a date at all grrr He is the one I really want to have coffee and Coffee with

Tamoo - as a chap, have to say that colour or length of hair wouldn't make me not want to date someone.

Wow, voice those are some seriously vicious messages, do you still do OD? I am being to realise that you need to have quite a thick skin in order to avoid becoming a weeping mess within a week!

I am full of admiration of people here who are able to take this all in their stride.......

Just bumped into Voldemort and his lesbian ex flatmate while I was popping out to buy a sharpenner. this is the first time I have seen him since the gifting of the notebook of doom. Felt like I was actually going to throw up, but it passed pretty quickly. Unsure if they saw me, but I managed the best look of absolute disinterest/disdain i could manage.

he looks terrible. he's got awfully fat.

not quite sure how i feel about this.

Keepcalm - no, I don't. I stopped six months ago. I spent 18 months on it. Kept a profile on the free sites pretty much the whole time and tried a couple of months on a couple of pay sites during the stint, although there were times when I had a profile up on POF and took a month or two off searching but would reply on rare occasions I received a message. I'm amazed I stuck it that long, to be honest

I shall have to go back on it at some point, despite the statistics being rubbish, as I never meet anyone in RL. Have to say the idea doesn't thrill me.

Thanks for opinions, I'm maybe paranoid as I've had actually 2 dodgy exes sneer about me looking 'like a lesbian'. Anyway we'll see. I've taken little brother's advice and messaged someone back whom I'd previously dismissed on (possibly) spurious grounds. Still finding my footing I think after so long out of it.

Snape, just think - just because you saw him it doesn't change anything, and if he can only remain slimmer while being part of a toxic friendship with someone that doesn't really say much positive about him