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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Great Escape

734 replies

GoodtoBetter · 18/01/2013 07:24

I thought I would start a new thread, for anyone who might be interested in listening to my waffling on about my struggles with a difficult, overbearing mother. Thank you to whoever it was who suggested the thread title! I've changed my name for something a bit more positive.
previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1565077-My-mother-hates-my-husband-long

OP posts:
pictish · 25/01/2013 14:35

Welcome to your new home GTB! Grin

What a big day for you! All the very best of luck and love in your new house. May peace and harmony reign over you all. xxxx

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/01/2013 15:46

Seem to remember an old custom used to be for an onlooker to throw in an old shoe after you & DH as you walk in?

Anyway I'm sure you will have good fortune and feel very settled and happy, best wishes to the 4 of you.

KatieScarlett2833 · 25/01/2013 16:59

Congratulations on your new, improved life OP Smile

goonyagoodthing · 25/01/2013 17:39

Well done on the move Goodtobetter, heres to the start of your new life Wine. Hope you have the champers on ice for all the MNr's who will come for the housewarming!

lizzypuffs · 25/01/2013 18:10

Congratulations on the move g2b. Well done on managing all the stress etc! Have a large glass (bottle? ) of vino tonight. You deserve it.

Jux · 25/01/2013 18:12

Wine Friday night Celebration Wine

Walkacrossthesand · 25/01/2013 18:19

You did it! Well done to you & DH - and cheers! Wine

TheGoatThatGotAway · 25/01/2013 18:22

Thinking of you and wishing you a happy weekend in your new home. Cheers! Wine

MushroomSoup · 25/01/2013 18:37

Wishing you health, wealth and happiness in your new home.

Hissy · 25/01/2013 18:51

Well done lovely lady!

wishing you all the best for you and your super family in your new HOME!

Well done you! You have come so far!

ThreeTomatoes · 25/01/2013 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/01/2013 19:06

Wine time "Lovely place you have here, Good".

justaboutchilledout · 25/01/2013 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NettleTea · 25/01/2013 19:13

Well done and enjoy the peace and blossoming a new house will bring you all xxx

tribpot · 25/01/2013 19:45

Enjoy your new home!

GoodtoBetter · 25/01/2013 20:18
OP posts:
Shattereddreams · 25/01/2013 20:21

moonpig.com Welcome to your new home

thegreylady · 25/01/2013 20:21
Thanks Brew Wine
GoodtoBetter · 25/01/2013 20:22

Thanks for all the good wishes and thanks to Herrena for the card, I was really touched, honestly. . I've checked in on my phone a couple of times and been amazed to see how many people have been cheering us on.
Well, the move took ALL DAY. They arrived at 830 and packed and packed and packed for hours and hours. I really didn't realise we had that much stuff! We'd moved as much as we could before but there was just endless amounts and DM kept giving me more and more. The first lorry load went to the house at about 130 and we picked the kids up from school and went for a quick lunch. Then DH stayed at the house with them and I cleaned and cleaned, hoovering, mopping etc. That house has never been so clean. DM got quite weepy once it was really underway, fussing over rugs and things. I told her at one point to leave it alone and go and make me a cup of tea! Then, once it had all gone and I'd cleaned everything DH and I moved her bed back into the main bedroom with her bedsides etc and I made the bed up for her. She started saying she would have to sleep in a single cos she reckons she can't put the double quilt cover on. I said if necessary I'd come over once a week and change it for her, which I suppose I shouldn't..but I don't mind doing that once a week, it takes 5 mins and she can see the kids.
she kept saying I'm sorry and hugged me twice and said she didn't want us to not be close. I was calm and said I'd take her to the garden centre with the kids on sunday if she wanted.
When I got Dh to help me with the beds my friend took the dcs to the library as otherwise they'd be running up and down the stairs while we tried to shift a massive bed. Dm seemed really upset by that and I felt a bit bad, but the stairgates had gone by then and it was just easier all round. Then she was saying, X (dear friend) must think I'm awful, you must have told her awful things about me. I just denied everything.
When I left she was sobbing and I do feel bad, nobody likes that, do they?
Anyway.....here we are. The kids were excited but OK, managed to find bedding, pjs, teddies and give them a bath and get them to bed without much fuss. DH has gone out to get us a pizza. No wine, but I did have wine at lunch. My back is FUCKING AGONY but it'll be OK.
The house looks good...it's very cold in the lounge as it's quite large and open plan and open into the stairwell, so well have to get the curtains up sharpish to close it off and make it more heatable. (No central heating here).
Haven't been up on the roof at all as it's been pissing it down all day and there's thick fog, but forecast is better tomorrow..so will have my moment up on the roof soon!
Have loads of work to do this weekend?have to do some of that translation for Monday and plan classes and finish reports. It?s not over because with people like my DM it?s never over?but at least now maybe we can have some better boundaries. I still, if I?m honest sometimes feel maybe I have done a cruel thing and been unkind..I still wobble?but as dear friend said?she?ll have to sink or swim now and eve if she flounders a bit at first, she?ll be fine.
And so will we.

OP posts:
GlaikitCheiftanOThePuddinRace · 25/01/2013 20:41

Woo hoo [bgrin]

WingDefence · 25/01/2013 20:47

Oh wonderful - massive congratulations and well done on taking back your life Grin

footballmum · 25/01/2013 20:47

Another long time lurker but just wanted to say it takes a strong person to break free of the patterns of a lifetime and you've done it. There may still be tough times ahead but remember this moment and the strength it took to get to it. Raising a ??to you and your family. Here's hoping your new home is full of love and laughter xxx

footballmum · 25/01/2013 20:48

Oops! Realising the limitations of the iPhone app!! That was supposed to be a glass of red wine!!

Arithmeticulous · 25/01/2013 20:49

Well done Grin

goonyagoodthing · 25/01/2013 21:01

A lovely update and how far you have come from when you posted your very first post. Sending best wishes to yourself, your lovely little family and your mother x