it's a new dawn, it's a new day ..........it dating thread 36!

[lulubellaboozle]

Post away daters x

you nailed it!!

arse

No news here, just popped in to clap. :-)

Regarding scars, lumps, bumps, marks and bits of body that you're worried about getting out. Don't be! I, and most other blokes I'd imagine, are pretty unlikely to care. It's not even "not care" it's more "not even something detrimental that you have to not care about". Confidence is sexy, you don't need a perfect body to be confident

I second bill.
Plus any bloke past his teens who isn't wholly self obsessed and arrogant is likely to have their own lumps and bumps they're worried about too.

arse Love the response. Wonder what he is thinking??
juliette. Thank you for your pm. If I've responded twice its coz I was out of range.
I'm embracing my lumps. Thanks to all.

lubey - yay, sounds like you had fun.

oww - lovely post, pleased for you.

ive not known bumps to matter, not one jot.

No dating news at all. BUT, i am going out next weekend with a bunch of kids young people at work, whos jaws dropped when i told them i had to wait till dd went to her dads... and then dropped even further when i said i was 34. They thought i was the same as them, which is 20-25. This makes me very happy indeed :)

So happy of course, than im now going to tell EVERYONE. lol

Scatty, I suspect he is thinking 'what's upset her, the deluded cow'. He doesn't strike me as someone who questions his own appeal. I do feel slightly bad for being nasty to him though, I don't really like being unkind.

Watch, it's always pleasing when people think you're younger than you are, fair warms the cockles.

it is, isnt it, which is a sure sign you are old!!! :)

Delurking briefly to Hi. My new year doldrums have evaporated and I am feeling much better!

This thread has been wonderful tonic and encouragement, would like to break the MN code and give you all a hug, as you've all helped me to keep going and not lose heart. I am so glad things are generally going so well, for so many of us on here.

I am back on the OD saddle full force and have signed up for Match and POF.

A two pronged approach. So far POF has been great (no cockshots) lovely chaps and chats! Match, not so much. The men on Match seem more 'serious' and I am quite a 'playful' personality, but there are a couple of men on Match who have prospects of pursuing me in earnest, so who knows at this point?

Have tried very hard not to buy any dresses, but alas, I am too far gone to stop with that particular obsession, 8 gorgeous dresses and counting . Hopefully some dates soon to wear them.

As you were.

WarmFuzzyFun x

Hello Warm, always nice to hear from another dress addict !

MsA now doesn't that feel better

Scatty enjoy!

I tend to like and appreciate the body of the man I'm with, I really don't care about a little extra weight, bumps, apparent imperfections. I've known model and athlete 'perfect' and normal and whilst a great body is always appreciated, there is always something about each man's body that is irresistible and it probably won't be the perfect bit but I will see it as perfect for me. I don't see why it should be any different for my partners.

oops MsA, crossed post. Meh to feeling guilty, he was probably well overdue for it.

Thank you, Juliette, he probably was overdue for it, his fatal mistake was in patronising me, it drives me wild.

I completely agree about male bodies, only one of the men I've had a relationship with had a 'perfect' body, it really was a beautiful, beautiful thing but it was attached to a man who had more ishoos than a bus load of Eastenders' characters. All the rest were imperfect but hugely attractive to me, at the time, because I loved/liked the person.

Alright. Can I make an appeal to mothers out there who are thinking of beginning to date?

While I completely understand, from my own experience, that babysitting can be expensive, flaky, unreliable and difficult to arrange at short notice, it really makes a huge amount of sense that if you think you're going to start dating one person several times, or several people once over the course of a few weeks, you need to have lined up all your ducks, pulled in your favours, got your babysitting circle tokens stacked up, whatever - so that when you have a first date and it goes really well, or your second date has gone great, then you don't end up telling the bloke - 'I'm really sorry I just can't get a sitter till my parents are back at the end of the month'.

Girl X is really nice, sweet, lovely, has a toddler. We had a date, it went great, we seemed to connect. We spoke about a second date, and joked about how it would be difficult to arrange due to mutual DC arrangements. I have my DC half the time and don't feel comfortable having sitters with them when they're with me so I don't go out those nights, but that leaves me every other weekend and several weeknights free. If I meet a great woman and I want to see her again for a second date, it really has to be within a couple of weeks of the first date. Texts and calls don't really do it, I've got to see how she looks, what the chemistry is like, how rude she is with the waiter, all that, and see how we get on once the nervousness of a first date is gone. If she can't get a sitter for a month, it's very likely I'll end up on a first and second date with someone without kids, simply because they're available and likely to be so in the future.

I don't mean to have a rant, really I don't. I know it takes planning, and I'd really prefer to date someone with DC as they 'get it'. But if you can't be fairly certain about childcare arrangements to give someone the time to get to know you, then wait to start dating until you are. Otherwise you end up having a few nice dinners and nothing will ever progress to more.

Having such a bad day today. Found out something terrible
About my ex today that really makes me question his ability/0posirion to look after my children. He was also pushing for more contact with them which is the first time in 10 months he has been interested then today when he picks them up he tells me that he is taking them to meet ow! They only got back together 3 months ago (allegedly?!?) and he thought today would be a good time for the introduction. I said the time wasn't right for the children - I have just started back at work, eldest at school, getting used to the namny etc and then said he couldn't take them out of the house as I couldn't trust him not to introduce them.

I feel so shit. But apparently today is a major dating day! My phone has been going crazy with messages! I am just not feeling it at all. Feel like the wind has been completely taken out of my sails.

Why can't he see that he is not doing what is right for the children!!!

Bant could you suggest lunch one day while the toddler is at nursery? presuming the toddler is old enough to have the free nursery place, or that she works and has a long enough lunch break that is.

Nomorepain unfortunately as the co parent he is entitled to intro the kids to whoever he wants when he wants. You can't control that. And three months really isn't that bad? You refer to them as your children but they are his children too and there are very few parents in this world who are incapable. I thought you were going to say he had been shooting heroin or something!

My ex introduced his ow to my DD pretty quick. Not only that but then after 6 months or so he wanted her to call her 'mummy' - thems the breaks when you co parent. You have to suck it up however painful it is for you.

Forgot to say - you wouldn't have him dictating to you when you can or can't introduce a partner.

Hia Dudes and Dudettes. Off to the cinema with Torso Rubber...have driven MrN over the edge ...will chat more later

Although I feel the pressure with TR already....heave you booked a ticket? No...what if it is sold out? Unlikely ...its sunday ....I am afraid to say Dudes that I find alot of blokes awfully controlling...how the Jeff did I manage to get to 41 eh?

NoMore - I know its got to be tough, presumably the OW now is the same OW as when you split? I think 6 months is a good time limit, but for everyone it is different and while you may hate it, it's not, as lubey said, as if he's shooting up or something.

It's horrible but they are his children too, even if he's been a shit husband and father. You could, however, say to him that there are ground rules - they're not to call her 'mummy' but 'auntie bitch' or something, and if they break up within a year he doesn't get to introduce them to anyone new until at least he's been with them for at least a year or something.

Sorry about the situation though, I know it's got to be hard.

bant, its not as easy as that. perhaps she has got babysitters, but has arranged other things, and is using them for that instead of dates with you.

babysitters are not a free and easy comodity. They cost lots, people dont want to babysit all that much, they have their own lives.

You cant line up babysitters on the off chance you have a good date and want to see someone again. Odds are, as you know, dates are rubbish. It would be madness to line up lots of babysitters every time you met someone for the first time.

I understand your frustration, but it is how it is. You either have to get creative with your time, ie lunches, dates in nursery time.. etc, or, frankly, just suck it up, because it is how it is, and is hardly her fault.

Of course, it could just be that shes not all that bothered and is using the babysitter get out.......

Ike - you've pushed Mr N over the edge ? With your saucy talk ? Enjoy the film, make sure TR buys you a fancy ice cream as compensation for being irritating.

Nomore, that must be very hard but unfortunately I don't think it's worth getting yourself upset over something you have no say in, that way you just set yourself up for more stress.

no more. Im sorry, its crap.
I understand how you feel. However, as his father, he is their parent, and he can chose ( and the law also states this) that when he has them, he can do what he wants and this includes introducing them to any women. You dont get a say.
Its shite, i know.
DD was introduced to my exdh's ow the first time he had her over night. I wasnt even aware that he was seeing anyone.... then of course it all unravelled and i found out he had been cheating on me ( again)

I understnad the rage and frustration, jack all you can do about it, other than supporting your DC in their feelings, not showing emotion about it and letting them feel their way through it, knowing you are there for them.

Watch - yeah I know, I did consider she was using it as a get out but she does seem genuinely frustrated. And as I said I know you can't line them up, but you've just got to be realistic - She's just started doing OD, she's just started back at work after Maternity, it's just after Christmas and so there have been lots of dos and stuff.

Lining them up in advance is unrealistic, but making sure you don't start dating when you've pulled in all your favours already just means it's less likely to fail.

Not more likely to succeed, you'll still meet dicks and waste your time, but reducing the chance of something possibly good actually working, that's the issue here.