it's a new dawn, it's a new day ..........it dating thread 36!

[lulubellaboozle]

Post away daters x

ike - takes one to know one :)

Only saying it because i was the same. firstly to keep hidden the dv in my marriage, then to hide my feelings and show i was in control following me leaving him. Then, when od, to keep me in control, and them at arms lenght.

It works as well :) which is the fucker with it, because then you can convientally blame shit men and stay safe in your comfort zone :)

Its taken me 3 years to get where i am with it now. and that long to realise that i did do it, and why i was. Otherwise i would probably totally disagreed. lol

But yeah, there it is.

Essentially, they are interested in you, not a comedian. So, be you.

i ahve an xaviar on my fb page!!!! hes very good looking too.

Horses for courses I suppose. Its how I am in RL. But then I am not looking for anything serious. That is obvious from my profile. Must get round to deleting.

How old? Watch

tiny bit older than me.
lives in america.
probably not free often enough for dating.
:)

( sorry, cant help myself)

Oh shame he would break my 3 week rule

Sorry

Thing is that is me too tho Watch...cant help but see the bathos and ridiculousness in most things....its just that if some peeps just are not on the same page with that then it doesnt work...so I need to be sensitive to that.

watch and 48 :o

i think thats it ike.

I usually do to, but, in text you dont have the rest to go on, so people dont know how to take it. OR, if they dont know you well enough to know you are joking, they dont know. OR they just dont have the same sense of humour, and find it mean/ rude/ whatever.

Its not about changing who you are, i wouldnt advocate that at all, its just maybe turning it down a knotch or 5, giving people the chance to see ' you' first.

lubey - today we are all commedians :)

Yeah I reckon you are right...Mountain Man spoiled me for the others ...he loved all that stuff and we could bounce texts off each other...sigh....shame I ran out on him eh???? (lol....argh there I go again!)

See, to my mind, all this 'availability for dating' thing is a common thread amongest the menz.

You know why? Because you expect to come first. And you ain't never gonna

Sorry about that!

lol. its a really hard habit to break.
Honestly, i did it all the time.

I still have to stop myself sometimes. and sometimes i still do it.

its almost like, if i i make it a joke, or make it funny, its less bad, or ive got in there first, or, i dont know. it just detracts from it in some way.

I dont think on its own its a bad thing, just if you do it a lot. which you must do as 3 men have said to you. i had one person say it to me. Everyone else just fell for my banter and noone kind of saw why i was doing it. You know who did.

So, maybe if you are aware of it, its easier to tone it down a bit when you first meet someone?

Mr R&R gets me. I had replied to a couple of his long texts with one word answers.

He then sent a text saying 'I wish you wouldn't write so much in your fucking texts'

This thread and coffee are going to be the death of my keyboard today if I'm not careful

48 :o

Sweet - I hope you don't expect us to put you first, then

On the alphabet front, I used to know a Zelda..... didn't date her though. She was a ginger

48 - he sounds fab :)

I mean that single mums put their children before dating. That's how it is, and how it should be. But I have a sneaking suspicion that 'some' men expect to come first when they're dating.... and because they don't, they don't like it.

I meant to come on here and debate this point with Bant last night - when I was dating as a single mum, babysitting was really rare. But no matter how much I had to arrange things, and call in favours etc, I managed it for people I really liked.

The men I dated were quite respectful of my situation, tbh, but if someone that liked me wasn't prepared to wait a couple of weeks...and would rather date someone else instead, that they weren't even that bothered about? They're not my kind of people. And that would go for the other way around as well.

agreed sweet :)

48 see its that sort of humour that would have me hooked...

Sweet - glad you said 'some', otherwise you might have been accused of a sweeping generalisation!

nope, we dont generalise when its our favour ;)

That 'some' is so very important. Never ever leave it out, especially when talking on a forum :o

Learnt that lesson back in about 1999 I think after forgetting it once meant a complete flaming.

Ike We are both often in tears with laughter. Its brilliant. I like him alot

Of course I only meant 'some'

But those some are there, nonetheless, and Bant's post last night (I know he apologised and said he was just ranting), sort of rankled me a bit, so I had to make my feelings clear!