No more Trying - you are doing, and Flying!!!! Am so pleased for you, hope the elation is still with you today. It will be a hard road, no doubt about it, and dealing with FW will be difficult (he'll pull at your heartstrings one minute and threaten you with all he's got the next). We're still here to help you through, lovely lady.
Bertie - definitely manipulation on the DS bed front. He's poorly four times since NY? How does he sleep himself, your FW? Eejit.
Leclerc - hurray for you and DS and you going with your instincts, if he slept all night then you are obviously onto something, he's needing to feel you close at night. I think you're an amazing mum, and an amazing person. Hope you got a decent sleep and feel better. And watch that ToD, he's a sly one, maybe some talc on the floor as well.
MrsM and Leclerc - mine too, till my eyes were rolling back in my head, I'd have agreed to anything he said just to sleep!
thatsnotmyname - glad you've been reading and digesting. What's your plan, once your 'little ones' have flown the nest?
doing - sorry to hear about your FW being, well, a FW. You feel anxious because you are walking on eggshells yet you know it makes no difference, he'll still potentially kick off if, say, you sniff the wrong way (or laugh/splutter). You are not in control, he is. Sure there's a bit in Lundy too about them saying you can't have a go at the because, as Leclerc says, they might still be abusive but they are slightly less abusive than before... Madness, really!
jan get in there first and tell the landlord exactly what is going on, and see what they plan to do if FW asks for his half back. He's threatening to do it, so you actually do it. If it's criminal damage, maybe your landlord will report it so he can claim it on insurance or something.