Cliches, arse ennui, new year hangovers and glancing at the sweet trolley. Dating thread 34!

[lubeybooby]

New thread time! Great timing with it being new years day...

Most of you know what to do... off you go!

Just in case you don't... just chit chat all your dating related stuff here. If you are new, just jump right in to the blethering. More the merrier!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :o

Actually have no idea what he is doing velvet. If you pull it all apart and take emotion out of it, the main obvious red flags to me are cancelling and arranging and the lie about having his DC(s) while he was out partying with fb girlies. Did you respond to his text?

Velvet sounds like he is regretting it already!

Did you say he was new to OD Velvet? If so it's no doubt all gone to his head - sweet trolley mentality. He met you and genuinely thought you were fab but maybe (definitely!) too good for him which made him a little nervous, then twittery girls come along and boost his ego, make him less nervous so he tries to keep all his options open, starts behaving like a twunt. Hope you didn't reply, let him lick his wounds. Just walk away with your head held high (if a bit sore!).

perhaps he wants a woman who will indulge him & pander to his whims?
Aka 'high maintennance man'?

Velvet, if replying at all (and I'm still saying cut loose) I'd say something like, yes you're sad and lonely. Shame you had to cancel on an offer of fab company and lovely food last night. If he is sad and lonely it's his bloody fault and given how shit he's made you feel it's not your place to perk him up.

Hmmm, re the 'down and unhappy' thing, I wouldn't dream of telling someone I was dating that. Sounds a bit fishy and manipulative.

Sorry for being so mememe in my last post....

Watch how utterly typical. Real life it is (amen to that, me too I think after this experience!)

Yoga good luck for Tuesday :)

Snape thats brilliant about you and Dumbledore, I'm really pleased its all going well - when is your date?

Lubey Spacetwunt is 6 years younger than me, so my view of younger men may be slightly clouded at present! but I hope you have a lovely date today.

His latest pearl of wisdom: relationships are for people with nothing better to do.

Morning all
watch good to 'see you'. This descending into sex talk grates on me. Id say over 90% do it within 4 or 5 messages. Yesterday my male friend phoned me and asked to go out for a drink. However within 2 sentences he had starting taking about strap ons! I was really angry. Rather than put the phone down I told him he is unacceptable.

Fireman phoned me. He said he appreciated my honesty and was looking forward to seeing me on Tuesday and maybe after that sorting out a daytime trip to the coast. He also said he is aware he is a whimsical diversion for me, and provided me with entertainment. I just laughed thinking about the stressing I'd done. So, he thinks its all flim flam and that's good. I'll keep it at that level.

velvet. He sounds like a twat to me. He really does. Have no more to do with him.

God yes, you've met him once and he's bearing his soul to you & telling you he's down and unhappy? He wants a blow-job! Tell him you know an excellent cure for feeling down and unhappy and then when he asks what that is, respond with 'at least 18 months of counselling with a qualified professional who specialises in sex-addiction'

Thanks, velvet!

and wtf re: the relationships comment? When/where did he say that?

Snape big grin @ you and dumbledore :o

Scatty, sounds good.

He asked for a blow job?! I missed that! Velvet you know this guy is a twat. How do you possibly hope this will progress?

Re the relationship line: "I think it's very sad that you feel that. For me a great relationship can be the icing on the cake. I can't help noticing that you don't seem very satisfied by your current circumstances either."

God if anyone deserves a honey trap it's him. Actually I think I now understand exactly how the previous fake profile came about!

No! He didn't ask for a BJ... I'm interpreting his 'sad/lonely' as 'give me a blow job!'

Velvet - just don't respond to anything on his FB. Was his 'sad and lonely' via text? If you respond at all, and I'm 50/50 about whether you should, it should just be to say you're a little hungover after seeing your friends last night.

That's all. Nothing else. That way - you dont depend on him for happiness, you're not willing to pander to him, you're not going to rearrange.

Or. Just ignore. I was really hoping things would work but he cancelled twice and lied about it. He doesn't deserve any more of your attention or time.

Yoga he's not that new to it, about a year I think, however - if anything he originally told me can be believed - he seems (seemed) to have very little confidence then (both his long term Exs cheated on him) and had some crappy experiences, culminating in early December with one who was a bit like theArtist (allegedly). So I'm not his first OD experience, but I might be his best one I'm so bloody modest and I do think it's made him a bit overconfident...

Either that or he always was a complete twat and he just hid it well at the start!

He's done the 'feeling down' thing to me before the manipulative shitbag.

Scatty that's good re the fireman. almost gives me hope I might one day meet someone normal

velvet if he can't behave properly now then what chance would you have if the relationship progressed. He has got issues. He is newly single and instead of dipping his toe in the dating pool he is jumping around it like a wild 3 year old. He has not considered your feelings at all. you deserve more than that. Ignore him. Just ignore him. Do not reply to his texts. He can not pick you up and drop you when he feels like it.

I have also got reservations about the split with his wife. Only talking from personal experience and my rat of an ex walked out when my dd was 5 weeks old. I think it takes a particularly cold person to walk away from little children. Again please don't shoot me down, just talking from my experience.

There are better men out there for you.

and the 'sad/lonely' comment is basically him showing you his puppy dog eyes and saying 'I know I pissed on the carpet but look how lovely and needy I am. Take care of me!'

I tell my closest friends and family - sometimes, if I'm a bit down. I don't use the phrase 'sad and lonely' as that's just pathetic. If I had a counselor I may say it to them. I wouldn't say it to someone I'd just started dating. That's manipulative and needy.

Morning,
Snape, Dumbledore still sounding good, is it today you're meeting him at the Natural History or was it yesterday and I missed it ?

Lubey, go for it and have fun.

Scatty, I'm glad he's reassured you a little and hope your tests turn out ok.

Yoga, I hope your job turns out to be wonderful.

Watch, shame he lived down to your expectations.

Scatty, it's a pity that shoving his strap on where the sun don't shine would be something he'd enjoy.

Velvet, worra wankaaaaaa, I'd be replying to the 'miserable' text with ' I'm sorry. Anyway must dash, I need to get ready.'

Ike, what have you been up to, you naughty woman ?

Bant, good luck with Shoegirl.

Bill, hope your children are feeling a little better.

Waves to everyone else, have a lovely Sunday whatever you're up to.

Bant I've never written on his FB, I'm definitely not going to start now!

The sad and lonely was FB. The down and unhappy was by text. He said having seen on FB how pretty I looked last night he wishes he'd not had to cancel our date.

I said it's a shame he missed out

snape - I really like the sound of Dumbledore! I get a smiley feeling when I read your posts about him. Seems like it is all progressing nicely!

bant - any response from Guiness girl?

scatty - sounds good with fireman. Looks like you played it well.

I didn't get a text off sailor boy. I'm not texting him. I would like to but I won't. Haven't really got anything interesting to say to him but would like to open the communication line!! Hey ho, if its meant to happen it will!!

nice response velvet

bill - how are your kids today? Hope they are feeling better

Ahw. Poor spacetwunt. Anyway, never mind. at least his eyesight seems to be ok, given that he clocked how devastatingly gorgeous you looked last night. Down and unhappy, indeed. snort

Dumbledore at the NHM for a spot of geocaching is on Wednesday. He's out of town until Tuesday, wanted to meet up at earliest opportunity so we can work out each otheris hideous in real life and move on

Ha! Told ya he would regret it. What a knob.

Manipulative is damn right, and hahaa :o @ Bant's 'puppy that pissed on the carpet' analogy. Too bad, dude.

MsArse cheers and I definitely will. Looking forward to this :o

We are going to my fave restaurant. Meeting about 7pm.

Must have a frantic house tidy and scrub polish and de hairing of myself. Just in case. it's been over a bloody month I'm going mad

Nomore I know what you mean about walking away from a baby, that would sit badly with me.

Allegedly he split from his Ex some months before DC was born (he said because she was unfaithful). The more I think about it the more sceptical I am!

Thanks Bant

I'd love to think he is almost literally kicking himself at missing out. I did look bloody good last night (amazing what a truckload of makeup can do!).