Cliches, arse ennui, new year hangovers and glancing at the sweet trolley. Dating thread 34!

[lubeybooby]

New thread time! Great timing with it being new years day...

Most of you know what to do... off you go!

Just in case you don't... just chit chat all your dating related stuff here. If you are new, just jump right in to the blethering. More the merrier!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :o

oww - I'd heard the same about a month for every year! I'm just over halfway there in that case or it would take me till 2020! By that point I would be 41. I like the month theory better.

Scooby - I think he is treating you awfully. I would send a text to find out what is going on. Not fair to leave you in limbo.

Banta, I don't think I would ever come across to anyone I'm dating as desperate. Comparing me to the artist is unfair. Iirc, she phoned you all the time, text repeatedly without waiting for a response etc. I've spoken to SM once on the phone (at his request). If I ask a question in a text I never send another til I've had a response and if its a text which was sort of the end of a train of conversation I might send the next one but only much later.

Yes I probably am overthinking, overworrying and everything else. But unlike most of you, I don't have any postive experiences of OD. Its impossible not to think history is repeating itself. And I do also have £20 worth of food in my fridge which if he doesn't turn up will be wasted.

Hi Bant- I don't tend to plan far in advance. It was him who was talking about next NYE and had mentioned his August birthday several times. This gave me the confidence (and it was NYE so several drinks in ) to mention a holiday and it was only a UK short break not something which needed to be planned months in advance.

Sorry Velvet - I didn't mean to compare you to the Artist - she had lots of issues which you know about, and you don't have those. She was stalkerish and worrying, and I didn't mean to imply that you're either of those.

All I was getting at is that you seem to be so worried and thinking through all the nuances of everything, constantly worried - he's probably just bumbling along getting on with things and looking forward to tonight. I don't know if your worries are leaking through, probably not.

And I'd disagree with your last point. You do have positive experiences of OD, albeit not until recently. You've got a bloke you like, who you get on really well with, who's coming round to dinner. I know he's not being as communicative as you'd like, but you're different people, different genders, and men and women communicate differently. I know you're worried, but worrying isn't going to help anything and may possibly make them worse

I know what Bant means... eg my 1pm date - we have swapped maybe about six or seven texts total since the last date (NYE)

He's currently waiting for me to confirm where

Neither of us (as far as I know) are worried whether it will happen or or not or bothered about contact/lack of it because the date was good and I expect this one will be too.

I'm not saying you have to be overjoyed with how things are with spaceman currently, I get that you have the food waiting and a bunch of crap experiences in the past, but more for future reference that perhaps it would be better not to expect lots of texting and contact etc and not to be so emotionally dependent so early on. You get so worried when you haven't heard from someone but it's pretty normal not to, especially in the early days and as someone else mentioned it risks being exhausting and burning out even when it's fun and you like each other

Morning all,

Velvet Sorry you're stressed. It is still early though so there's lot's of time for him to get in touch yet. Don't text him though. If he still want's to come round he will be in touch. If he doesn't then he's a bell end anyway and you've found out early on before you invest too much in him. I know how gut churning it all is though. Hang on in there.

Whatdoes Just tell him you've changed your mind about meeting and if he get's abusive in return then just ignore him. I really wouldn't worry about it. You are entitled to change your mind and as long as you are polite about it then your conscience is clear.

Still no reply to my last text to manboy. No FB message either to say he was out of credit or whatnot (and he has been on FB today). I'm sure he was out with another girl last night. Which is really charming of him. I am feeling very upset this morning.

I texted Mr Vague, kept it light. Nothing to loose, he will now know I'm interested so over to him now.

I think that the thing ( well, one of the things ) with the Artist is that she didn't appear to have very much self awareness, most women with any experience of men know that if your behaviour so much as sniffs of a hint of having ordered a wedding dress, a giant cake and named your future children in the early stages of a relationship, the man is likely to resemble Usain Bolt in his efforts to get away ( actually if I met a man who was that full on that early on, I'd be doing a runner too ). The Artist appeared to be completely absorbed in her own feelings and desires which is never an attractive character trait.

As you say, Scooby, he was planning into the future and him doing this is what gave you the impetus to make your own suggestion of going away together later in the year, if he's been spooked by that, well, he's a bit daft ( or has ishoos ).

velvet 'I'm something scary and new (and probably the first woman he's ever met who is cleverer than him - and whilst he may not realise it, I very definitely am!) well fuck him.'

This. Print it out keep it in your purse, or stick it on a post it note where you might catch sight of it, but preferably where DCs can't see it. Be emotionally cleverer than him as well.

Personally Velvet I would send a quick text outlining times etc stating if I dont hear from you by ....time I will assume you are starving and continue with prepping tonights feast... or something along those lines

....and then carry on regardless

I'd eat the food myself. All of it.

Still can't find my fave dress :( even having turned my house even more inside out. Arse, arse, arse arse arse. ARSE!

Now I'm going to end up looking absolutely shit and mumsy because nothing else I like fits right thanks to xmas indulgence. argh.

whatdoes No exclusivity talks at all. I'm not even sure if I want him as a boyfriend really. Not because I don't like him, I think he's adorable. But he is sooo much younger than me and it's therefore pretty much doomed to failure anyway. He text me just after my last post to say he's sorry but he fell asleep last night. Which isn't inconceivable. He works long hours and has been quite poorly recently which has left him feeling pretty worn out. The trouble is that I am so convinced that all men are liars (not you Bant btw, just all the one's I meet) That I'm always quick to assume the very worst at the earliest chance I get.

Good luck for the "It's not me, it's you" chat/text to Mr Punchy.

Velvet Still have all my fingers and toes crossed for you.

lubey That is a pain. Hope you manage to find it. I'm sure you will look lovely whatever you wear though. We all think we look like beached whales after Xmas but it normally isn't the case.

It is a pain! It really leaves me with fuck all options. grrr. I will have to have a hunt around in the sales for a replacement. It was a phase eight v neck knitted dress and it was just so comfy yet stylish AND totally perfect for me and my shape and my boots.

ARSE!

Well I texted Miss Guinness asking if she'd like to go out again this week - no reply yet.

On an unrelated note, in 2003 the Arts council of England funded six monkeys to see how long it would take them to type the works of Shakespeare. After 6 months they had failed to produce a single word of English, broken the computer, and shat on the keyboard.

I know that's not strictly related to dating, but I thought I'd throw it in there.

Velvet step away from the phone

Well I am meeting Mr Vague tomorrow afternoon. Stroll, gallery, drink.

I want to see The Major again as I enjoyed his company and he is an interesting man who would be a wonderful friend but don't think it could work as anything more. Our lifestyles are poles apart, he is very much a traditional pub man and I know art, reading, theatre etc leave him cold. Oddly, in terms of a world view, we were on the same page (yes, we discussed Iraq, Israel and global politics, I am riveting to have a date with). Also family stuff. Would it be too awful to let him know I liked him, more of a friend thing and if he is up for it, I'd love to meet up with him again on that basis? He does do a lot of serious walking and I'd be up for that for example.

Bant did some of them sign up to POF while they were at it?

Luby have you tried the Dry Cleaners? this is where my last lost dress was . Car, friends house, lent it?

Otherwise, Spanx hold whatever it is in. Means I can get into a size smaller than I am at the moment which just happens to be what most of my wardrobe is.

Nowt wrong with suggesting an ativity partner scenario Juliette

Juliette - if he's a nice guy and you'd like him as a friend, I'd say it was great spending time with him, you didn't feel a romantic spark, which is a shame as you really enjoyed his company. Maybe if he'd like to meet up as friends or something you could go walking - and introduce each other to single friends..

That last bit may want to wait until you're happy with him not having fallen head over heels for you on the date.

Yoga - I believe they're on E-Harmonkey.com Ahahahaha.

Sorry.