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Original poster

Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

999 replies

lulubellaboozle · 16/12/2012 14:29

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

OP posts:
cafecito · 23/12/2012 19:55

bant that's a good way of looking at it, you're right. I need to learn to be less submissive with mraloof, and less controlling everywhere else Hmm I'm totally out of balance

cafecito · 23/12/2012 19:56

maybe I should just write mraloof off though, I had a text from him yesterday but I replied and he didn't reply and I suspect I won't hear from him until the second week of January which doth not a relationship make

mercury7 · 23/12/2012 20:20

well sure I understand that we are always sizing up other people to make sure we at least get a fair deal in life, I think really it's the strain of making out you dont care when you do!
So I hereby lay down the torch

SevenSnapespearesSwimming · 23/12/2012 20:39

juliette a young Hugh Jackman. :)

Angeletta · 23/12/2012 20:56

Juliette and OhLittleTown thank you, I am going to do just that. It never happened. Snow Leopard is going to be shocked at how much it never happened.

notthegrinch thank you, think I am getting better - still randomly tearing up but it's happening less often. Everyone's support is really helping, much appreciated!

Nomorepain so sorry you are going through this, sure your in-laws are missing you too. I think if you can get through this, there will come a day when you wouldn't have your ex back on a silver platter.

Banta another vote for clean-shaven, although I like stubble too. I am sure it will vary so you should please yourself really.

Velvet agree you should go on the date, maybe you could make it a casual daytime date? As for Cuthbert, agree with cafecito that you can fairly ask him to level with you about what exactly he's looking for.

Yogagirl Xmas Shock at the Lidl socks. I am still really spoiled by my family at xmas and birthdays and you've reminded me that I don't appreciate it enough.

I do buy stuff for myself though, sometimes it's the only way to get what you want! Planning on buying some ice skates this year as I've just gone back to ice skating and want some lovely white ones to motivate me! The hire ones are so uncomfortable and blunt, often as not.

SevenSnapespearesSwimming · 23/12/2012 21:07

Can someone explain this? Alcoholic, non working, severely depressed xp with DV arrests, who has five children by three different women (I was the first...) has a girlfriend.

I am single.

Is this some sort of bizarre alternative universe? how on EARTH is XP managing to pull and I'm not?!

mercury7 · 23/12/2012 21:21

Snapethe gf presumably is a good 'fit' for a man who is 'Alcoholic, non working, severely depressed with DV arrests'

she is surely not in a good place if thats the kind of bloke who s drawn to her?

Nomorepain · 23/12/2012 21:54

Snape - there is NO justice in this world. None at all. Nada

If there was then we wouldn't all be here musing over Internet dating. I like what Mercury has said though. She must be fine, young girl to put up with such an eligible man!

Roll on 3rd Jan I say. Then we can be rid of these silly exes and the ridiculous feelings that Christmas and New Year's Eve throw at us!!

BantaBaby · 23/12/2012 22:08

Has anyone ever had fried sushi? I really fancy some fried sushi.

cafecito · 23/12/2012 22:25

tempura?

VelvetSpoon · 23/12/2012 22:26

Snape what Mercury said.

Keep telling yourself a few more days and he'll be out from under your roof... :)

Possible date (he needs a name) is now my friend on FB and has been looking at my photos.

He has just said he thinks I'm stunning Blush

This is bad. I am a real sucker for a compliment. And the best Cuthbert has ever managed is to say I'm lovely.

Confused
Nomorepain · 23/12/2012 22:32

Velvet - sorry for butting in but i have been thinking it for a while and only just plucking up courage to say it. I really think that there are better men out there for you than Cuthbert. I know you like him but he really isn't giving you much to play with. And this is meant to be the time he is wooing you and proving that he is worth your time and attention. I think this new man seems a much better prospect. I think you should clear some diary space to get a date with him!!

BantaBaby · 23/12/2012 22:37

I agree with nomore - Cuthbert was your first second date after a long drought - it doesn't mean he's the best thing out there.

Date the new guy, be cautious, don't expect too much but give him some benefit of the doubt to prove he's better. Cuthbert isn't trying hard enough to impress you, and very likely never will, you're too good to settle for not good enough.

BantaBaby · 23/12/2012 22:43

and cafe I was thinking more of a tempura'ed sushi - california rolls fried in batter or something.

Just a craving I seem to have. No idea how it would taste, but it could be gorgeous.

VelvetSpoon · 23/12/2012 22:48

Nomore you're not butting in at all, all opinions gratefully appreciated!

Cuthbert is a really nice guy, we get on brilliantly when I see him that is. After OD for nearly 4 years without meeting one bloke who ever wanted to see me again, having finally found one who did/does, part of me worries that if I give up on him, I'll be back to endless first dates, which is an unappealing prospect.

I don't know how much potential new guy has, he's ridiculously attractive, but I rather expect he knows that. I haven't even replied to his text yet because I don't know what to say...this is the stupid thing about me, I expect men to think I'm gorgeous, then get all embarrassed when they tell me they do! Blush

48howdidthathappen · 23/12/2012 22:52

My ex has just been for coffee. Brought DD presents over. Brought one for me. Thanks more guilt about christmas alone. Life.

Nomorepain · 23/12/2012 22:57

Velvet - Cuthbert really isn't the only viable second/third/forth date out there for you. Look how much angst he has caused you in the last couple of months. You may had 3 nice dates but that is about it. Look how much further your relationship could have developed in that time but it hasn't. And that isn't down to you it is down to him. Sorry for my bluntness but I feel like you are walking on eggshells around him. That is never a good foundation to a relationship. Like I've eluded to before - this should be the honeymoon period, it shouldn't be hard work!!

The new man sounds great! You find him attractive, he obviously finds you attractive. He has text you, found you on Facebook, complimented you! What more do you want? He is interested so give him a chance! This is your time now Velvet so make the most of it. Bet he blows Cuthbert into the water.

OhLittleTownofWesternWind · 23/12/2012 23:04

48 so glad that things are going well with The King. 2013 isn't that long to wait (especially if he's worth waiting for). Really pleased for you. Tell all the rest of 'em to sod off.

Velvet you've nothing to lose by going on a date with this other man, who sounds good btw. But I'd still be tempted to ask Cuthbert to step up a bit and see if that has any effect.

Angeletta · 23/12/2012 23:06

Velvet maybe just say "well thank you, how nice of you to say so"? You'll sound gracious and confident and like you hear this all the time (sounds like you do actually Smile).

Angeletta · 23/12/2012 23:12

Oh and I totally agree with nomorepain about the honeymoon period. Actually this was something that bothered me about Snow Leopard - it was all way too difficult and more angsty than it should have been. Even getting him to come out for coffee felt like nailing jelly to the wall.

notthegrinch · 23/12/2012 23:56

DD2 & I are off to brave the supermarket now (it opens at midnight) wish us luck Xmas Hmm

cafecito · 24/12/2012 00:01

Ooh I like midnight/ early hours shopping. It always makes me feel more normal when I look around me Grin good luck!

hmmm fried sushi, hmm, I live near a sushi place that does california rolls with battered things, lie prawns, inside them, they're really yummy

Velvet new guy sounds lovely. It can be hard if you've become attached to Cuthbert but he isn't giving anything to a relationship with you, for whatever reason. Until that is resolved, which it may never be, you need to put yourself first and not pass things up that could make you happy. I'm like that with mraloof though, because of him somewhere in the periphery, I won't see anyone else, because they won't match up to him, but he is likely to be permanently like he is with me, so I need to snap out of it.

cafecito · 24/12/2012 00:02

are you in London Banta? I went to an amazing sushi place the other weekend with a friend and her boyfriend for brunch. I'm sure they'd do it for you if your craving persists

cafecito · 24/12/2012 00:03

sorry, dating thread not sushi thread fatty that I am Xmas Grin

VelvetSpoon · 24/12/2012 00:04

NoMore he probably isnt the only one I know, it's just the fear it took me so long to get beyond a first date, I don't want to go back to how it was! But I know that's a silly reason to stick with something that's not making me happy.

Western I'm going to give Cuthbert a chance at least. I like him a lot, so it's only fair.

Angeletta Grin at nailing jelly - can relate to that totally!

So new man (still thinking of a name) and I are currently texting. It's nice :)