Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

I like the sound of bill's extended stubble version. That's kind of what I mean. A full beard is a no for me, I guess, but I'd still prefer it over clean shaven.

clean shaven = teenage boy, or maybe it's just too good-guy for my taste, I don't know.

I do have a friend, he's 27, who shaves his chest [eeeuw]

Thanks everyone :)

New bloke is nice, sane and not a sex-obsessed pervert. So a cut above every bloke I've dated recently bar Cuthbert

I've already said to him that I'm busy til after Xmas, and I think he has his DC next weekend...so realistically it will be a couple of weeks before any date happens.

In the meantime I will try again to arrange something with Cuthbert, and when I do, try and find out what he's looking for out of this. Because ultimately I want a relationship, and if he doesn't, well...that would sort of decide things.

It's hard though. He is busy with work, with 2 lots of access to his DC, and the possibly bordering on depression stuff. I don't want to put pressure on him if that's going to make things worse, but I do want to see him more regularly.

He has issues about speaking to people on the phone, and I don't have his email, so it's text or nothing, which just makes it all more difficult!

You don't have his email after three dates and 5 weeks? Ask for it. That's not unreasonable at all unless he's hiding something

velvet I know he's possibly borderline depressed and you both have full busy lives, but you do sound like your being kept dangling. I'd see the other chap. Keep your options open lovey. :)

Extended stubble, yes! Full beard a bit too hipster for my tastes.

Mr fucked up has slightly less than a goatee. Grey hair, beard and eyes. 6ft3.
51yo. Good looking guy.

Any takers?

Velvet why not send him your email and say it would be nice to be able to communicate a bit more with him. Surely that can't be too much pressure and his response may tell you something.

A bit of stubble's ok if you're him

Velvet - I'm with Yoga on this one. I'd seriously think about emailing him and saying you'd like to see more of him, but if he's not in a position to move things forward with you then could he please let you know. This being left dangling is horrible. I've been there myself as you know and having a good talk has really done wonders for us.

48 - Is he funny ? How fucked up ? Can I have him without the stubble ?

< fussy >
< reserve the right to be less fussy if he goes like a train >

Velvet, agree wholeheartedly with Snape - go for it.

Sorry Velvet texting him not emailing. Concentrate, Western!

or wolverine

The subject of email hasn't ever come up, it's not as though I've asked and he's avoided it. I suppose I could send him mine though, good thinking Yoga :)

I don't think he's keeping me dangling deliberately. BUT I do think I might want more than he's able to offer. If that is the case, then it will be a real shame. I'm not writing the script yet though, I'll see what he has to say first.

Arse very Fucked up. Been texting me now for 4 days with no response.

Good laugh, grinds you coffee beans, not sure about losing the stubble.

Goes like a train

Velvet - don't send him yours, ask for his. Sending him yours puts you on the back foot again waiting for an email from him as well as a text/call.

Text him, say you saw something appropriate and can you get his email address. If he says no, something is odd. IF he says yes, yay (then we have to think quickly of something appropriate to send him... )

bant I thought you were going to the bathroom...

Snape who is that gorgrous man, he reminds me of the much younger ex.

Arse Dealbreaker. He likes marmite!

Ooh, I like Marmite.

Snape, that blerk has girl's hair - meh.

I look like a kiwi fruit

Not a good look

Banta - means you will have to change your online dating pics now!!

I think Bant has a point about the e-mail thing Velvet, but, gah! I'm so sick of all these freakin' power games.

The thing about power games is - they serve a purpose.

Any good relationship should be balanced - sometimes one partner leans on the other more, other times vice versa, there's give and take, it's healthy, there's compromise, agreement, discussion, resolved conflicts.

Or, you have a relationship which starts out 'he/she is too needy/dismissive/controlling' etc - all the red flags we talk about which generally mean a man wants to be in control and will exert force or emotional abuse to remain dominant.

Power games in an early stage of a relationship is basically just working out who is in control, is it me, is it them, are we on nearly level pegging. If we're on near level pegging, we both think we're great and like each other and want to be honest, then this has legs. If the other person is too dominant/submissive then this isn't going to work.

that's the way I look at it anyway. Power games for the sake of them are shit, but there is always a subconscious sizing up of how balanced this could turn out to be.

I need to lose about 6 ounces off my chin now I'm stubble all over. Crap.

you met cuthbert OD right? See as that's the case I think you have a legitimate reason to ask where he sees it going, what he can offer, etc. In the context of him signing up to a site, to meet someone, etc etc, then really it's only fair he can tell you that. In my case I feel I can't really ask or it will make me look scary so I am left daaaaaaaaangling indefinitely while mraloof tries to meet someone he likes more, perhaps [grumpy]

however, croissant man emailed me - maybe I should be less mean!

48 he sounds perfect for me