Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

I asked my DC for their opinion on whether I should shave it, and they both cried 'No!' - but then they complain about scratching.

I think I may do it. I may. I may not. It's like getting rid of a family pet.

NoMore - I think Match is better than POF, but it costs, so try the free trial first, get conversations going with as many as possible and give a new email address out to them, that way if all of those come to nothing, you can decide whether it's worth paying for it in the long run.

Having said 'meh' earlier, I'm now having email conversations with two attractive local women, both of whom seem funny. I seem unable to stay on the sofa. Telly is crap.

Another vote here for shaving it off, Banta, there's something a bit Rafa Benitez about a goatee.

Oh, interested in the answer to bant's bears question. I have a very short one, more extended stubble than beard.

On scatty's point about honesty. Can't agree more. I'm always open about age, height, kids etc. if not, that's not fair on the person you're meeting, and if any of those are an issue, you're just delaying the inevitable.

Third point (in one message, bad form I know). All that said about height, I do find shorter women attractive. Now I know yoga is 5'0 I'm wishing she lived closer

Angeletta - really brave of you. I would never have the courage to do that. Hold your head up, smile and treat him like any other colleague.

Nomorepain so sorry you're feeling low. This time of year is horrible and so many people here are finding it hard. Can't really say anything to make it better, but you're not alone.

Bant I am not a fan of beards in general although a very short goatee is fine. I do prefer a clean shaven man - always have done but foul ex had a gross beard which I'm sure he grew just to creep me out and which really reinforced my anti-beard stance. Is a man shaving off/ growing a beard the psychological equivalent of women having all their hair chopped or dying it a dramatically different colour?

So, my update is: still not heard anything from Cuthbert since Friday . No idea when I'll see him next. Probably not until well into the New Year.

Now I know we've only been on 3 dates (in a 2 month period!) but I want a bit more. I don't know if this is simply the result of all the other stuff he has going on, or if he actually only wants is someone he can (very occasionally) date, rather than it ever being more than that, but if it's the latter I don't know that it's enough for me :( I'd rather spend time with him than any other bloke I've met in the last 4 years of OD hell, but I don't know if he feels the same. I can't even really talk to him about it, other than as and when I see him next, and then I know I'll be so excited and happy to see him (and vice versa, it's not all one-sided!) that it won't get discussed, and I'll be back to waiting around for date 5...

In the meantime, I have been asked on a date by someone else (not only after sex bloke, still keeping him at arms length, this is another one!). I am flattered, but do I say yes? I've put him off for now by saying I'm busy over Xmas...tbh I'd rather see Cuthbert, but don't know if I'm flogging a dead horse there.

DC have only ever know you with it, give then a few hours and they'll have forgotten . Actually, I would go for it as if you didn't like it after a week, you'd have time to grow back before you left for Hungary.

Nomore I have a sub to MatchAffinity. Absolutely nothing for me there. i find okc the best free one but others say you need to be in a big city for it to work. I find POF just scary and your sense of normality can start to shift as you alternate between feeling offended and picky or that might be just me.

If you are feeling fragile maybe wait until after C and even until after NYE as you really have to be in the right frame of mind to deal with it all. I don't have that much OD contact but even so I take breaks from it from time to time.

Velvet if you like him and he seems sane and nice, yes absolutely see this one. The thing with Cuthbert, he is not available for whatever reason, and yet he leaves you wondering. Unless it is clearly something unavoidable and not his choice then it doesn't really matter why, the result is still the same i.e. you sitting on the bench trying to second guess him when really, if he does have a problem and cares he should either make an effort or let you know out of courtesy.

Good vibes for the New year to everyone feeling shyte

OWW That is fantastic about LM and your children!

Height I am 5ft2 so a huge choice tall men seem like me. Mr R&R is 6ft.

Talking of Mr R&R he has just left, been in bed since last night. I am totally loved up It is just fantastic that we were at school together. Takes me right back. Wont see him to NY as he goes up North to visit family every christmas. Getting together on his return.

Mr Fucked up has texted again 'I really want to see you?' starting to get on my nerves. Go away!

Anyone fancy a 'festive lick' I haven't deleted his number yet. He is good

Velvet, definitely go on the date, you deserve to have a good time, might give Cuthbert a kick up the arse too.

I definitely prefer clean shaven bant, or sometimes messy stubble. On that note, I know there are only a couple of men on here, but what about women with short hair? I have a pixie cut, and found the attention I get decreased loads. I had a really short crop last year, loved it myself, but can't stand being ignored on a night out! I think I have a couple of pics on my profile.

Are you pimping out Mr Fucked Up ? < gives it serious consideration >

Arse Spreading the love

I think bald is a strange look on women, for fashion reasons at least. Personally I quite like both short and long hair - it suits different face shapes obviously.

I had an ex who always had long blonde hair, and she looked lovely. Then she got it cut really short and she looked just stunning - which I wouldn't have guessed before I saw it.

Velvet - date the new guy. If you like him then it gets you over the problem with Cuthbert. If you like him a bit, then Cuthbert might start paying you more attention (it's stupid, but that happens, but then again it may backslide after a while) If you don't like the new guy, then you're back where you started.

Thanks 48, you're very kind

velvet your cuthbert sounds like my mraloof :( frustrating. I expect if you go on the date and tell cuthbert you're unavailable next time he asks to meet, then he will be more interested (I don't approve of playing games though but it seems the push-pull dynamic is such that this just is)

you might like the new guy. Cuthbert might be dating other people (?) You're better than a back-up (not saying this is the case but until he treats you otherwise..)

Banta I am put off by clean shaven I just don't like it. But I don't like beards either- quite a bit of stubble is best for me, so smooth faced does nothing at all

Velvet can you encourage Cuthbert to communicate more even if you're not seeing him? Do you email or phone at all or is it only texting? Go on the other date - what's the harm??

Bant Some men do look better with a bit of facial hair but generally I def prefer clean shaven. But like Western, some of that may be down to XH only ever having a beard twice in the 20 years I've known him - once when we were first 'dating' and split briefly while he dallied with someone else, and now since we've split he's grown a short beard which I think looks vile.

Bill Thx

Right. Enough votes there I think. Is anyone going to shout 'NO Bant! Keep the beard!' before I disappear off to the bathroom for a bit?

NO bant keep the beard! I like a beard me. :)

Clean shaven A beard rash is not a good look

NOOOOOOOO Bant don't shave it off

[helpful]

Mr Fucked up has probably put me off beards. I wonder why?

If you must shave it off, grow a bit of stubble in its place

The thing about stubble is, it takes a couple of days to grow. A beard takes years to properly bed down, get a decent collection of wildlife growing in it, that kind of thing. I can always grow stubble within 3 or 4 days.

I just remembered from one dating site I looked a few years ago where 'clean shaven/beard/some stubble' was an option - and quite a few people had selected 'no beard' as a preferred option.

bant this is my favourite... <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&tbo=d&biw=1288&bih=576&tbm=isch&tbnid=8JQ1jBtZmIJHwM:&imgrefurl=www.fanpop.com/clubs/dr-gregory-house/images/1521814/title/hugh-laurie-photo&docid=aLZhxAuVS4hIbM&imgurl=images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/1500000/hugh-laurie-dr-gregory-house-1521814-480-514.jpg&w=480&h=514&ei=0U3XUJOcOMuV0QW3tIGwAg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=2&vpy=102&dur=352&hovh=232&hovw=217&tx=83&ty=125&sig=100476269558215043756&page=2&tbnh=150&tbnw=142&start=25&ndsp=31&ved=1t:429,r:33,s:0,i:189" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">house