Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

5' 6 isn't that tiny!

2 of my Exs were 5' 7 (I am 5' 6). No appreciable difference anatomically with others who were 6ft plus :)

I was expecting you to say he was like a bloke I once went on a blind date with who was (at a push) 5' 2 and built like a jockey...that was a terrible evening!

velvet I also had a terrible evening with someone who was built like a jockey and about 5ft 2. He then had the audacity to text me after the date 'let me come round and fuck you'. Delete.

It wasn't the height so much as the build I think. I'm used to something to get hold of . We all have our things, I didn't realise this was one of mine. He has asked if he can call next week, I like him so will definitely see him again if he does.

Assuming everything is in proportion, a man who is 5'6 is about 10% shorter than a man who's 6 foot tall. That difference would kind of disappear in the general - ahem - variability.

And generally there is no relationship between size and anything else. Hands, feet, nose, ears, adams apple.

Nationality may have some part - japanese and indian men tend to need smaller condoms, French men tend to be on the larger size apparently. British tend to be above average generally. This was according to a study by condom manufacturers I remember reading a couple of years back.

I'm feeling very 'meh' about dating. I mailed SurreyGirl when a bit drunk last week to tell her I was (partially) relocating and haven't heard back from her. My last few dates have either been no chemistry, some booze-induced chemistry but I just didn't fancy her enough to want to go out with her, and the Artist who turned out to be stalkerish. I have the option of driving half an hour for a coffee with a girl who looks okay, sounds okay, but isn't really pressing my buttons, or a second date with SharkGirl, or staying in and wrapping presents.

I unhid my profile on POF and wish I hadn't, lots of strange women coming out of the woodwork and sending me lot's of LOL-filled messages ('how u doin darlin, u look gorjus' kind of stuff)

Well, I say 'lots' - three yesterday evening. Enough to get a sinking feeling whenever I get a new mail from someone.

So. Meh.

Well its all a bit bloody meh isnt it...

Meh-ry Christmas everybody

'Meh' is the prevailing mood around these parts too, Mr Emergency Stop messaged again, I'm trying to get motivated enough to reply.
I sent a two sentence reply to Talent Show's frankly superfluous email of yesterday, wishing him the best of luck, again, with his new relationship and I pointedly didn't send Maris Piper any birthday wishes but dreamed of him all night.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Hey Juliette well done for going against the usual 'type' and giving his personality a chance...

Cant even get into the local pub for sunday lunch cos its bloody Chrimbo

Bloody ex is on his way, but needs to be accompanied part-way by his parents, as he is feeling 'nervy' & 'unwell'. So, great. He's going to be fuck-all use while he's here and it'll end up being yet another person to look after. . I hate Xmas!

LM has met the children! Very informal, he came round to pick something up and have a brew, children were here of course so they've all seen each other now. Went well, very low key, children distinctly untraumatised. Good.

I'm 5'6 and you'd be amazed at some of the comments and opinions that people think its ok to state. I wonder if it's the same if you're overweight, or very tall, of ginger, or black. Somehow taking the piss out of some of those attributes isn't ok is it.

And that's not a dig at you juliette . You're not taking the piss, and people expressing a physical preference is fine. Less keen on descriptions like "dinky" or "mini man".

Official date 2 with geeky girl went really well. Out for a meal and drinks, last ones to leave the restaurant as we were so busy talking. Back to mine with the plan of Coffee. It to be honest we had coffee and then lay in bed talking until 4am. It's all a bit too good at the moment.

We had Coffee in the morning though!

western that's a big step and I'm glad it went well. I like the informal first meeting, no big build up.

nice one Bill.

I read a blog about dating a couple of months ago about how short men were sometimes driven to suicide by the responses they get from women. And some of the comments from women were so vitriolic about short men in general, they were eye-opening. Somehow height-ism is acceptable, people assume shorter men will be angry, or less well endowed, or failures in life. It annoys me when women who are 5'2 or so insist on their dates being 6 ft or taller. I mean, it's their personal choice and all, but me being 5'10 is surely tall enough. I don't insist on women being slender or athletic, and I don't make jokes or deride large women, or ginger women, or tall women.

Having a personal preference is fine, but some people put it in their profiles in such a way that I'm immediately put off them.

Here's a funny thing about height. I'm very short - 5'0". So on the very rare occassions where i meet another adult who's actually smaller than me I think, "Oh, so that's what I look like to everyone else!"

Meh to OD. Meh to xmas. Meh to shitty exes. Just...Meh (except Bill and Western, sounds like you are decidedly Un-Meh ).

I also feel ire at short-women bagging the 6 foot tall men. :)

I tend to go for guys that are a couple of inches taller than me, it's a type preference, but I've been out with guys a couple of inches shorter. I think more of that is to do with my perception of my height and the ability to wear heels on occasion without feeling like I'm taking DS2 out to the pub, rather than labelling shorter men as angry or inadequate.

But I probably wouldn't date someone more than two inches shorter than me (again) I feel like a transvestite at the best of times, my perception of femininity is possibly not always being the stronger one and I tend to associate that with height. An interesting said, my dad was 6 foot 4 and left us when I was five. I do think my ideas regarding male attractiveness are associated with an absent father. (Eww)

Hi to everyone still posing on here. I used to post under a different name ages ago but stopped for a couple of reasons .

I 'know' a few of you, Snape, Velvet, and Lubey, and Mercury, did you post under a different name?

I am still dating the one person (mainly) been seeing him a year, regularly, though we've know each other much longer, I'm not planning on moving in ever but the fact that we are still going strong and he still makes my heart flip is good enough for me.

Anyway just want to say that I still lurk from time to time, love reading about your dating up's and down's, and would like to wish you all good luck with it, a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

It annoys me when women who are 5'2 or so insist on their dates being 6 ft or taller.

Physical stature is conventionally associated with masculinity in men, all other things being equal a tall man will be seen as more masculine.
Women are generally seen as more feminine if they are petite.

That may explain why a woman who scores higher on femininity feels able to insist on a more masculine man.

I'm not condoning or endorsing any of this, just attempting a sort of economic explanation.

< disclaimer >
Of course in real life things are not black and white and outcomes depend on multiple interacting factors :)

Well if I get a slew of 6' and over men lining up at my door I promise to give them all back...or at least to share!

I think ideally I'd like a man between 5'6 and 5'10 (5'11 at a push). Anything taller than that and its just uncomfortable!! Shorter than that and they kind of remind me of my dad who's 5'5" (again...Eww)

Thought I might tell my folks about my tattoo so I sent them an email asking what they think of tattoos in general. My mum replied "I think they are really unattractive. Some are cute at first but when you get old they look faded and awful. Make u look cheap." Ok then.

bill, banta I understand the distress that can be caused by women focusing on height. It is pretty much the same for many women who feel that the whole world judges them by how much they weigh.

Part of it I suspect is the whole sweet shop effect of OD. You look along the shelf and choose on the basis of a photo and a few physical 'knowns' i.e height.

However, much more of it is media driven socialisation. Fashion shoots where the man is shorter than the woman and the woman is larger than a size zero are very few & far between. Stories about women focus on their size and what they are wearing, even if the story is about something deeper. Ditto with men. How often does an article quote a mans height, or comment if his partner is taller.

How shallow !! And how important that we recognise that shallowness and teach our children the important qualities they need to focus on in life.

My issue isnt with the height, im not bothered about that. The jockey told me he was 5ft 6 when he was around 5ft 2 and ive met men who have told me they're 5ft 11 and were smaller than me and im 5ft 9 unless ive grown. Fact is important.

Totally agree 2013. With od i try to give as many facts as possible. Height and body size..i cant turn up with additional.nerves of a rose coloured description to live up to.
OD is just like a shop. The door opens ajar and the 'what are you looking for?' begins. you wouldnt ask that of someone in a pub or cafe.

Hi Everyone! (WarmFuzzy waves enthusiastically )

Not much happening in my OD world, I am on sofa until most likely end of Feb, CBA ATM.

(By the time I have written this post, the conversation may have moved on)

Anyway have delurked just to comment on height issue and my experiences.

I am 5'8'' and am happy to date from 5'5'' upwards. One of the benefits of OD is that I get to meet someone who might not approach me in RL (eg in a bar or club etc). Apparently, I look as though I am in a relationship! so don't get approached in RL much, unless they are drunk.

I have sometimes needed to reassure some guys (that men of taller than average height is not my particular fetish). I really go for personality first then looks (within reason!) and of course values.

I don't have a type anymore. I just dive in and see what happens. Height is not a determinant of anything other than height IMHO. People are people, you either hit it off or you don't.

scatty totally agree with you about the lying thing. It has happened to me several times and always in relation to height or age.

I am really open minded over most things and dont judge people either in terms of their height, size or age. But lying is a total no,no for me and kills any potential stone dead.