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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Residual Parenting Commitments, The Last Turkey In The Shop, Boiled Bunnies, Men With Fish and Stolen Condoms. Dating Thread XXXI.

999 replies

FlorentinePogen · 04/12/2012 19:49

Get on with it, daters.............Smile

OP posts:
DeanMartinx · 13/12/2012 14:15

Wickaninnish - I really must apologise to you. I completely missed a post of yours which was a direct reponse to an earlier post of mine.

It was on 8th Dec., where you explained how you lost your husband. I just missed it completely. I just looked back to see if I had explained the genesis of the photographs earlier and spotted your post.

I am so sorry for what happened to you. I rage sometimes because my wife was just swept away after such a short illness - that neither of us had had time to come to reach an understanding of what was happening.

So, I feel so much for you - having to face all the trauma and loss with no warning whatsoever.

We had very close friends where the husband was taken in the same tragic circumstances. His wife had such a hard time afterwards because, in every respect, they were not well organised (if ever such a thing is possible).

Anyway, I just want to tell you that I had a Christmas Card from her yesterday telling me that she is off to South Africa, two days after Christmas with a really nice guy (I've met him) she met visiting somebody in hospital before Christmas last year.

48howdidthathappen · 13/12/2012 15:21

There are a lot of sex questions on OKC. Skip. Skip. Skip.

BantaBaby · 13/12/2012 15:42

It appears I have just been offered a job

MirandaWest · 13/12/2012 15:51

Well done :)

Is it a job you would like?

OhWesternWind · 13/12/2012 16:08

Excellent news Banta - your presentation must have done the trick. Are you going to take it?

48howdidthathappen · 13/12/2012 16:37

Woo hoo! bantababy Smile

ike1 · 13/12/2012 17:05

Wow cool Banta!!!! Now...please tell me you are not going to celebrate by shagging The Artist sensless tonight...

Yogagirl17 · 13/12/2012 17:26

Congrats Bant, that's fantastic! Would you have to travel or relocate for it though, given that you had to fly to Europe for the interview?

Snape, any feedback from your interview yet?

I once had a guy on OKC spend several messages trying to convince me that he wasn't racist & homophobic just because he'd answered a bunch questions saying he was opposed to same sex relationships, opposed to same sex couples bringing up kids, opposed to interracial couples bringing up kids...Got tired of arguing with him and eventually blocked.

I'm going out tonight for the first time in ages! I've been avoiding nights out because a)didn't have the money for the them and b)just didn't feel up to it, but really looking forward to tonight. Even managed to get my exMIL to babysit so at least I'll only have to pay for dinner and not another £20 on top for a babysitter. Will get a bit dressed up and have some good Italian food and wine with a few friends, should be fun. Smile

ike1 · 13/12/2012 17:30

Yoga hope you enjoy it.....all the sweeter for the novelty factor.

48howdidthathappen · 13/12/2012 17:35

Have a great time yoga

MasamiAomame · 13/12/2012 17:54

First time I've tried posting from my phone so apologies for any mistakes!

OhWesternWind and 48howdidthathappen Thank you for the best wishes, date today went better, I was much less nervous though he said he'd not noticed my nerves last time. We went for lunch in the city centre, when he arrived he said he was going to cancel the event he had on tonight but then later changed his mind and had to leave which was a bit strange. But given he suggested meeting up next week and we spent most of the afternoon kissing (not something I normally do in public!) I'm going to judge it a success.

DeanMartin Good luck!
BantABaby Congratulations!
YogaGirl17 Have fun!

WarmFuzzyFun · 13/12/2012 18:01

Well done Bant

(fingers crossed for you Snape)

JulietteMontague · 13/12/2012 18:05

Yoga that is exactly my screen for okc,such a shame it's those one's who tend to message me Hmm

Have a brilliant time tonight, relax know you're fabulous and really enjoy it.

Masami sounding good

Bantababes Great news, you must have stormed it Grin

Dean yes, agree with giving her time to process it and remember you fondly!

Scattylatte · 13/12/2012 18:09

C'mon bant give us the lowdown.
snape all fingers still crossed.
yoga sounds like a good evening. It's lovely to dine with people you really like. I'm doing it on Saturday.
Hi to everyone else.

Got a date with the fireman tomorrow. He says he is nervous. He says that with my intellect I will run rings round him. That made me laugh as I'm not brain of Britain.
Meant to be going for curry with date from 3 weeks ago at some stage but I haven't arranged anything yet.

lulubellaboozle · 13/12/2012 18:22

yoga have fun!

Bantababy woo hoo same day job offer, impressive!

masami kissing in public?! I think it went well then Wink

snape fingers and everything else crossed for you

scatty surely the whole point of firemen is they don't need to be intellectual, just strong and manly Wink or am I being shallow? Hmm

WFF waves!

western whatever you are doing with LM seems to be working, so pleased for you

all quiet on my side, just chugging along whilst my ex tries to sell the house from beneath my feet and I distract myself with gorgeous Mr Ex Army! yep I'm definitely shallow

DeanMartinx · 13/12/2012 18:24

I've just been looking at the photographs that "Daughter" circulated.

24 in total, with Widow in all of them, mostly talking.

I am in 19 of them, in some shape or form, with 9 of them showing just Widow and myself.

Even in the only one with all five of us, I am at the back with Widow turned back laughing at me.

Those with Widow and myself show us deep in conversation - although with her doing all the talking.

At least, I have pictorial evidence that I am a good listener.

Widow's email reaction seemed ok - but, I did not get referenced at all by her in the criss cross email banter.

I've just been blown away by the photographs themselves. We got friendly initially on the coach without I registering her attractiveness and as I got friendly with them all as a group, I just got used to her looks, without thinking too much about it. Now, not having seen her since that time, I am just blown away by her looks. I think now, had I registered her looks before getting to talk to her, I would never have approached her

I am aware that sympathetic photography is one of the benign arts. But it is more than that. And I am not complaining. But I am bloody sure that I have plenty of competition - except that I also know, that despite all her vivacity, she has a reserve about her that will deter the hunter of easy prey.

I am going to give it 24 hours and then email her. Not sure about the structure of the message - apart from the fact that it will be warmly neutral. Any false move on my part, will scare this lady off.

At least, I am in a better place than when I posted initially.

Yogagirl17 · 13/12/2012 18:34

Oh and I know it was several pages/days ago, but apparently the appropriate reply to 'wuu2' is 'nmu' (Not much, you?). According to my 9 & 11 yo (who knew immediately what wuu2 meant) this is the ONLY appropriate reply, even if you are very busy.

FlorentinePogen · 13/12/2012 18:55

Banta, you flew all the way to Eastern Yoorp and they made a decision on the same day as they interviewed you ? How bizarrely spiffing...... Jolly good show and I think I'll have a wee tot of Wine to toast your news. However, you haven't said if you'll be accepting.....

OP posts:
Snapespeare · 13/12/2012 19:17

bant!!!!!!!!!

You're a CHAMPION! Well done, you!

I got home to cat diarrhoea on cream carpets, a rejection for another job I'd applied for, DS1s interim school report, which is red bars all over as his attendance is so poor (& a special mention to the emotional intelligence of his form teacher who wrote a snitty comment on it. DD won't go to school either, I'm fed up to the eye teeth with everyone and everything today. Am assuming that because I haven heard about the job that I haven't got it.

At least I'm back from DS2s parents evening with a bit of a glow. Dance and drama teachers are fighting over him to choose them for GCSE. All is well. His SATs put him at 21st in his year for English and maths. I didn't fuck up parenting wit all of them. Hmm

natureslaw · 13/12/2012 19:38

Er... my doubts exploded.
I've just finished with ironman......

48howdidthathappen · 13/12/2012 19:42

nature hope you are ok Smile

lulubellaboozle · 13/12/2012 19:48

nature I thought it was all going well? or have I got confused?

JulietteMontague · 13/12/2012 19:49

nature Sad you know we're here when you're ready.

Wickaninnish · 13/12/2012 21:00

bant fantastic news, well done you!!

snape still got everything crossed for you its getting painful, but not uncrossing till you hear

dean no problem, this thread moves fast. Am a little worried that you are overthinking your situation and pouring so much emotion into it, that you could be hurt. I also think that you are going to have to relax so that your widow isn't spooked by the strength of those emotions.

lulubellaboozle · 13/12/2012 21:26

Dean just a thought and apologies if I am over thinking things for you! But you say the widow didn't reference you in the email banter, but she presumably knew you would see and read everything? In that she must have 'replied to all' in the exchange? If she didn't want you to see her responses she could have just replied to her daughters and niece? Not sue what I am suggesting really but I suppose she consciously knew you would see and read her responses and she didn't hide them.

Not much help but I think if she didn't want to have any contact with you at all you either wouldn't engage in the banter or you would exclude you from the emails. Maybe she is just saying ''look I'm here!"

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