Residual Parenting Commitments, The Last Turkey In The Shop, Boiled Bunnies, Men With Fish and Stolen Condoms. Dating Thread XXXI.

[FlorentinePogen]

Get on with it, daters.............

Humping stuff!! Could have been exciting!! Mmmm my last bf was another muso lets call him Mr 90s Rave or rather Mr Friedmylittlebrains...oh sigh ...maybe I need to look for Mr (Captain) Sensible...

It was just the Coffee. No friendship. No connection.

48 well..better good Coffee than a chat about old goth bands...Fields of the Nephilim anyone???

See I cant help myself ...just noticed a bloke on OKC ..oversized aviator hat long black hair..I know he's gonna be muso..fingers are twitchin to message...somebody stop me...

I just wasn't into him or I would of been interested in his interests.
I needed to be able to get the whole picture.
I have been out of the game for 25 long years.
I would rather have friendship and connection than Coffee.
Light bulb moment

Oh ok 48 cool! And y'know I feel that way about alot of my dates but their ego and sense of rejection seems to get in the way..I quite liked Mr Anarcho Punk's idea that he wants to keep his dates at friends even if they are not a soulmate ...but y'know not datin before xmas..

Question for all - if the friendship and connection isn't immediately there, but the urge for coffee is, do you push on until coffee is served?

No men in bands, especially if they think they are going to 'make 'it'.
No men who want to get their guitar out (oh how I wish that was a euphemism, but sadly my experience tells me it isn't) .

I don't do coffee without the friendship/connection. It feels decaffinated.

There's some friendship/connection, just not enough for me to want it to develop into a relationship. I just doubt we'd ever stay up all night talking.

Now ladies ..are we talking coffee or Coffee??

I think there is the risk of people getting hurt. What if the other person feels a connection?

Going to take things more slowly in future.

Helen Thats it. When you want to stay up talking all night. Every night.

I've been talking to a funny, very nice A&E doctor who was on gsm for Coffee. Totally upfront about it, but its tricky enough trying to meet someone I click with, never mind having to assess someone for Coffee. I'd like to be with someone who's a serious Coffee lover and into brand loyalty .

stranger I mean

Well, that's a different conversation. Douwe egberts vs mellow birds...

Definitely Coffee.

That is the risk, if they feel a serious connection. I doubt he does though. Honestly, I don't know how people ever navigate into a FWB situation.

I haven't had the urge to stay up all night talking for years. I would definitely take that over serious Coffee, well as long as coffee was still served at some pont.

Me and my RL man lived as a pair of zombies in his flat at weekends we were so sleep deprived from talking all night.
It was our bubble. Bliss

Coffe wasn't great, but improving, loyalty gauranteed

Snape "I don't do coffee without the friendship/connection. It feels decaffinated" Ha - I definitely don't do decaf in either my coffee or my Coffee!

Juliette Brand loyalty is what we all want

Can I ask a question - just a straw poll? Generally, if someone you are seeing stays over for the first time (assuming no DC in the house) and offers to get you breakfast in the morning, do you:

A) offer to do it yourself
B) tell them where the bagels/croissant/weetabix are and instant coffee is fine
C) ask for eggs benedict

They're staying at my place? Offer to do it myself. Unless they're offering to nip out for some nice goodies, then I'd let them.

I would never let them make breakfast for me in my house unless it was quite a long standing relationship. Would always do that myself whilst they were still a guest.

Hi everyone, i've been lurking for a couple of days (have namechanged just for this as i've been on MN for a looooong time) Anyway, you all sound like a lovely bunch so I thought i'd jump on in :)

Made a bit of a cock up today I am completely new to online dating so decided to do a profile on POF. I didn't add a picture but started to get messages so chatted to a couple of them (blocked one guy already!). After chatting for a while I thought it was only fair to put a picture on but keep it private.

I looked through my pictures - I hate having my photo taken and the only one where I felt I looked nice I was dressed up in a very provocative fancy dress outfit, so I uploaded it and moved the box so it just showed my head - perfect :)

I sent the 2 guys I was talking to my picture and a message and when they replied I could see the whole bloody picture not just my head!!! Yikes - they were both very keen to chat again!

Phew, hopefully it was just a rookie mistake and things will get better from now on!

Hi window -

yep, I've been caught out before like that. It wasn't a provocative outfit in my case, but it had a bunch of other people in there including a mate who's annoyingly more attractive than me. So I took to using something else (Paint or photoshop or something) to just make a new picture of just me.

All of us make silly mistakes when starting online dating. The biggest one is to assume the best of people of course :) But it seems to be the wave of the future so it's kind of got to be done if you don't meet new people in real life all the time..

good luck - most of us are happy to look at your profile if you want a friendly eye to give you feedback.