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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Residual Parenting Commitments, The Last Turkey In The Shop, Boiled Bunnies, Men With Fish and Stolen Condoms. Dating Thread XXXI.

999 replies

FlorentinePogen · 04/12/2012 19:49

Get on with it, daters.............Smile

OP posts:
ike1 · 11/12/2012 13:26

Plus I have just sold my soul and broken my wallet in Toys R us! Plus the exH is being a wanker over exmas presents! It really is pooppanty.com down here!

ike1 · 11/12/2012 13:30

...and there I was beig oh so generous and grown up about dates...not anymore...raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

48howdidthathappen · 11/12/2012 14:21

Rushes out to buy vintage school blazer Blush

OhWesternWind · 11/12/2012 15:05

Seeing LM tonight for the first time in a couple of weeks as he has been ill and in hospital (as I'm sure lots of you remember seeing as I've banged on about it in great detail at the time. Sorry). Looking forward to it a great deal but also a little nervous as I've not seen him in a while and I am going to meet his mother.

Bloody hell. Hoping that all goes well with this. Bit surprised as it is out of the blue, but it can only be a good sign . . .

I need to have a chat with him about things as I am very unsure of where I stand and feel like I am getting some mixed signals to say the least. But, what I think may have happened is that all the hospital stuff has interrupted how things would normally have progressed, and I've been worried about lack of communication etc whilst he's been ill, and now things are back on track we're back where we should be with nice things being said, dates, mothers and the whole blooming shebang.

Feel a bit Xmas Envy though when I read people's messages on here about relationships that have been going on for the same amount of time being so much closer and more involved in each other's lives than ours is. I know though that we have a difficult situation with me having the children 24/7 and him having his children half the time, which doesn't make it all that easy logistically, and I can accept this because it's going to be the same for me whoever I'm in a relationship with. Really want to move things on but I am a bit scared and not sure exactly how to do this.

KirstyWirsty · 11/12/2012 15:30

Hmm .. TheCop has just said that he can't make Wednesday now 'something has come up' no alternative suggested .. Shame but as I mentioned before didn't think it would be a goer as hardly heard a cheep from him

2 hours til my sober night of passion with Mr Cheeky Grin

ike1 · 11/12/2012 15:30

Aw OWW its been a tough time for both of you- some relationships mature at a different rate.

48 you can have mine-I am done with it all lol...but it does seem that blokes an be a sucker for the ol' leather mini, school blazer and high heeled boots combo-shame it is accompanied by my creaking libido apparently-ha!

ike1 · 11/12/2012 15:31

can

ike1 · 11/12/2012 15:33

Enjoy Kirsty!

FlorentinePogen · 11/12/2012 15:37

ike, please be assured that not all men are 'suckers for the ol' leather mini, school blazer and high heeled boots combo'.........Xmas Hmm

OP posts:
ike1 · 11/12/2012 15:38

Note Flo the word CAN dont be an xmas grinch!

ike1 · 11/12/2012 15:39

...and this particular sucker was suckered by that particular combo - to his ultimate dissatisfaction-so there!!Ha

48howdidthathappen · 11/12/2012 15:55

Need to get a pic up on OKC. My daughter will have to take a new one, she is gonna love that! I get the giggles.

Had two messages without a pic, both great messages, much better than anything on POF. Shame one is in the states. The other a commanding officer in Afghanistan apparently Hmm no profile.

Will answer them later. If I can take my eyes of my new cupboard door.

ike1 · 11/12/2012 15:59

48 the cupboard door is probably more attractive than whats on offer on OkC lol (note to self...must not get twisted, causes wrinkles...)

DeanMartinx · 11/12/2012 16:15

Acknowledging wave from Snape. Only catching up now.
I really hope everything went well today.
You are one feisty lady and, remember, you have more life experience than the combined experience of any interviewing panel.

Wickaninnish - you are right again about I having, at least, the advantage of meeting Widow in real life. When she asked me if I had ever tried OD, I got the impression that it was a new experience for her at the time. It was on day one and it was only a snippet of a conversation, although she told me she could not believe how she could be messed around so much. At the time, I could not credit that such an attractive lady could attract such crass behaviour.

Later, when I found that I had lost the means to contact her, I started to look at OD sites and eventually found this thread.

It is funny how things happen. While gaining an insight into how OD appears to work in the raw, I got interested in the life stories of such a varied group of people here. Having had a charmed life which took me all over the world, through three different careers and having made understanding people a cornerstone of my business career, I thought with the benefit of the passing years, that I knew how things worked.

Then I found this thread - and I am blown away by the sheer magnitude of my ignorance. I know some of this is because I am a male who has wandered on to a ladies' site. I hope to God this does not come across as patronising - but, I am so impressed by the fortitude and stamina that some contributors here have to apply just to deal with the curved balls that life throws at them.

And I have to say that it annoys me to the level of incensement to read of the "antics" of the males outlined in some of the stories here. All I can say is that OD appears to attract a dispropotionate number of dysfunctional males. I have operated in enough male environments, sat in enough locker rooms and gone on enough boys' trips to have any illusions about anything. But, seriously, none of the behaviours outlined here has ever been in my experience - and would be amazed if it was in any of my mates over the years.

Perhaps the anonymity of the OD process encourages peoples' worst impulses - but, I just wonder, if there is another constituency of ladies out there who have the good luck to just meet up with normal guys - and, by definition, would not end up on this thread. While it is probably a game of numbers, it is probably just as much a game of choice.

I often wonder, as well, if people expect results too quickly in terms of time. I would be of the view that one should set their standards high and be prepared to just sit and wait - and use OD just as an a auxiliary aid that may or may not turn something interesting your way.

Reading some of the posts, I sometimes wonder if waiting impatiently for this impersonal process to produce somebody wonderful and quickly, provokes feelings of inadequacy which get projected out into real life. There is nothing so pervasive as a feeling of inadequacy or failure and, by itself, will ensure
that you will project whatever is the opposite to the Colgate Ring of Confidence.

Sorry, did not mean to rabbit on.
Just to say that exposure to this thread encouraged me a week back to relay my story here. Just putting it down on paper clarified a lot of things for me and the encouragement I got here, pushed me to do something about it.

Of course now, I am like an eighteen year old hoping that Widow's daughter will follow through with her promise to send the email, with the holiday photographs, and most importantly her Mom's email address.

Santasapunkatheart · 11/12/2012 16:31

Good luck, Dean. You sound lovely and if it is meant to be with the widow, it will happen.

Crass hey? One of my fav bands and they actually used to be penpals of mine. I still have letters from Steve Ignorant.....but your man sounds awful. You weren't wearing JUST a blazer though? Xmas Blush

You lot are braver than me and that has to count for something.

48 - the commanding officer will be a scam. My poor mum did the OD thing and got stung..not financially (I stepped in) but she really fell for a scammer. Broke my heart to watch it. He just echoed everything she said and made her feel special. He even looked in the photo just like my dad.

Heleninahandcart · 11/12/2012 16:40

Dean I think you are right about expecting it all to happen too quickly. I personally have only once met someone and found them physically attractive right away. Others have grown on me as I've got to know them. Whenever it all gets to me I take a break and sit it out. I maybe have a date every 2 or 3 weeks. I have met some lovely men and some real shockers. I am often left wondering if my standards are too high, but I am looking for quality Grin

I do hope your friend gets in touch with you, you will let us know?

Yogagirl17 · 11/12/2012 16:47

Just popping in quickly to say 48 - the "overseas in Afghanistan" thing, esp combined with limited profile is often a scam. Apparently it's a popular one on OKC.

48howdidthathappen · 11/12/2012 16:56

Santa Thanks, thought it was odd. My profile doesn't read as officer wife material.

Dean lots of goods points Smile my colgate ring of confidence is teflon coated.

OWW sending loads of positive vibes.

48howdidthathappen · 11/12/2012 16:59

yoga My first block! Done.

BantaBaby · 11/12/2012 17:06

We should get your Afghan officer together with my gymnastic dentist and see how they get on with each other

48howdidthathappen · 11/12/2012 17:15

In a dark locked room Grin

KirstyWirsty · 11/12/2012 17:24

snape how did it go???

48 no looking back for you now :)

48howdidthathappen · 11/12/2012 17:36

KW have a fab Coffee filled night Smile

I am buzzing. Even sorted out the miss sent text with ex. Sent him a text asking if he had seen the new pics of our son in OZ on FB. He replied, we had a bit of a laugh, he is popping in tomorrow for coffee. Not Coffee.

ike1 · 11/12/2012 17:46

Punk dont worry I was actually very conservatively dressed in blazer and trousers and I quite like crass myself but he was enuff to put me off em..

KirstyWirsty · 11/12/2012 18:11

I am sitting in a posh hotel room awaiting his arrival eeeeek!!

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