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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kissing

138 replies

Dadslib · 08/01/2004 12:46

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Rhubarb · 09/01/2004 13:11

I must admit I felt awful writing that last post, I bet he never wants to speak to me again! But I might be wrong DL, after all me and dh don't kiss as much as we used to, and our sex life is just about extinct - but then I guess we do have a new baby to contend with. However even before that it was only around twice a week. I would love to kiss him more, but he doesn't like it as much as me. It's just one of those things that happen when you've been together for so long, sometimes that person becomes so familiar to you that the excitment is lost. Perhaps a last ditch wooing attempt might help. Book a hotel room and meal, but make sure that you both get ready in separate locations and turn up separately, that way it feels more like a date and neither of you know what the other is wearing. Flirt with her gently, make her laugh (the biggest turn on for a woman) and compliment her. If she still doesn't show an interest then you may have big problems, but she might just soften - I hope so

Dadslib · 09/01/2004 13:13

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codswallop · 09/01/2004 13:13

did you wear a smoking jacket dl? it sounds a terribly stylish row! :0

codswallop · 09/01/2004 13:13

only twice a week r?!!

Jenie · 09/01/2004 13:15

M2T - we only started having sex so much because dp read in a magazine (at work) that it would help our dry spell sort itself out, tbh the second week into it I did find it a bit of a chore, so we got a book on different positions and things to do and we try a page or more every day. I realy lookforward to our time alone now, we've been together for 10 years so I guess it was about time we changed the old routine!

Come to think of it never did get to see the actual article in print

Dadslib · 09/01/2004 13:26

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lilibet · 09/01/2004 13:26

I can't beleive she fell for it actually!!

Rhubarb · 09/01/2004 13:27

Once we were married Coddy - yes! During the week we were too tired with work, so we were left with the weekends. Sometimes we could get carried away, mostly when we were drunk, which is how dd came to be!
DL tell your dw not to knock it till she's tried it - Mumsnet I mean! Although I think I would be a bit miffed if dh was discussing our sex life with a bunch of men online. I would never tell him what I discuss on here, I think he would be horrified if he knew of the things I had said about our relationship! So maybe telling her isn't a good idea, she will only get all defensive. Try listening to what she has to say and take all that onboard - without jumping to your own defence! Then tell her how YOU will try to change things and then tell her, without getting accusational, what you miss in your relationship and ask how you can get it back. If you come across as a listener, she is more likely to be reasonable. Whereas if you say "You don't do this" or "you always do that", it's not a discussion, it's a confrontation and she is not likely to respond to that well.

Pour her a glass of wine tonight, throw away your grudges and see if you can have a real discussion. Whatever happens try not to storm off or sulk or raise your voice. Be reasonable and calm at all times, she is then more likely to back down and your attitude will rub off.

I've asked this before, but will we see you next Saturday or does your silence on this indicate that you'd rather not? I'd completely understand that given that you've revealed so much of yourself on these threads lately.

codswallop · 09/01/2004 13:28

I stand back in respect Rhub

ks · 09/01/2004 13:31

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Jenie · 09/01/2004 13:38

Dl - I couldn't possibly tell you what page we're on!

lilibet - yes I am gullable, a little less naive since going to Amsterdam but still gullable (sp).

Northerner · 09/01/2004 13:41

Jenie that's a really good idea.

M2T · 09/01/2004 13:45

Oh I can't be ar*sed even trying that idea Jenie! I'm far too lazy and tired when I get home from work.

DL - Interesting that you used the word Counter Attack..... which suggests you were not discussing it with her, but attacking her about the issue! If so, then no wonder she got on the defensive!! I think you sound incredibly huffy too. She said a few cross words and you flounced off! That's not very productive now is it??

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