Twirling body builders, dominant alpha males and been hurt in the past-Dating thread part 29

[Milkandlotsandlotsofwine]

Took the liberty of starting a new thread.

Off you go ladies and gents...

I can't tell you why he's ironman

a) He likes to do your ironing.

b) He works in a steel mill.

c) He has a huge rock hard cock.

I'll go for a).

a) Not yet but it's early days b) Hell no! c) but that's not why he's called ironman

Hi ladies. Wow as a newbie its c hard to keep up with this thread. But im loving all the aliases - they conjure up such amusing mental images! Quick straw poll - is a 23 year age too much?! I think it is but I really like him...

Milk & Smokin I once again deleted my profile like a petulant child out of sheer frustration last week. I'm not shy, I was happy to approach men that I was interested in but they never seemed to be interested in me. Then a guy I thought was really nice approached me and I thought we were getting on well, we'd even spoken on the phone but then he just disappeared which I know happens but it still put me back to square one! It would be nice to at least go on a date before someone disappeared! milk, which site do you use?

QT, did you happen to omit the word 'gap' in your post ?

QT I think age gap is very personal. When I had my RL love affair, he was 41, 7 years younger than me with no kids. My kids are grown up, not planning anymore. I told him we could not be long term because of this, had he had children it wounld not of mattered at all.

God I miss him.

Milk I have 3 ponies and a horse. No pics on my profile though.

A farmer I had a date with mentioned the amount of women with horses on POF.

watch that's brilliant news about the house!!! So pleased for you.

And yes, I do like to take myself to the cinema as well as other activities one does when dating oneself

Waiting for a coffee update from bant

watch glad it's all sorted, sounds like a decent landlady

Update from my date who shall be known as mr wine as we drank way too much on our first date...he did text back, 2nd date is on and apparently it's a surprise location! I love surprises, I never get surprised! [Grin]

Yay questions!

Double yay for watch!

Come on nature tell us...

all around.

Oh Yeay questions for Mr wine. What do you think the surprise could be???!

Evening everyone - and hello to pink and 48 - and anyone else I've missed.

Well, I drove an hour to meet the psychotherapist, and we had coffee and talked for an hour, then she went off to meet a friend for dinner.

Hmm. She was quite attractive, intelligent, and she made me laugh a couple of times, I made her laugh a couple of times, but there were also a few awkward pauses in conversation. It was a bit odd. Kind of a potential for chemistry but not sure really.

Then at the end she said 'lets not do the awkward thing about talking about a second date now, how about you mail me?' -

So - if she lived closer than just over an hour away I think I'd ask her out again to see if chemistry develops - we could get on quite well I think. I think I'm probably going to not do it though as I've definitely felt more spark with other people (who admittedly got back together with their exes or had ishoos with exes) and the distance is probably a bit too much of a sod.

I really kind of want to know if she fancied me or not. Sometimes it seemed she did, sometimes not.

48 and Pink welcome :)

Pink honestly, the whole dating thing really is a lottery. that's probably no help I know!

I've been doing this on and off since 2009, and in that time I've had a lot of first dates BUT until last month I'd never got beyond that. So although I apparently got a fair bit of initial interest, it never came to anything. This year alone I have had about 15-20 dates (I've lost count), but nothing came of them. I would far rather have had 2 or 3 that went somewhere tbh.

Now there's nothing wrong with me well ok some people would probably argue with that I'm attractive, articulate, intelligent, have a good job, my own home, so on paper I seem great And yet with one exception, the only men I have attracted via OD are either just looking for a shag, or have issues, or both. As well as the dodgy dates I have had loads of disappearers (the ones who chat for a bit, suggest a date and then either disappear before arranging, or arrange, cancel and then disappear). I know some others on this thread, Watch and Scatty in particular have had not dissimilar experiences, unfortunately it seems inherent in OD! And there was me expecting at the outset that people were on sites to date/have relationships...so to sum up, it's not you. It is them BUT there are a few good ones out there, they just take an awful lot of weeding out :)

May be worth trying another site too, OK Cupid is another decent free one, too wordy for me though I know a few on the thread have found better men on there than on POF!

Watch hurray re the house, now the hard work of packing starts, but at least you should all be moved in and settled by Christmas :)

awaits Bantams update....

ooh x-post!

Sounds a good date - can understand though if you're not quite sure the distance issue comes into play.

I wonder whether in view of her job she is fairly good at playing her cards close to her chest, and not giving anything away in terms of signals?!

It's always nice to know if someone fancies you though. I have realised that in the absence of any overt physical display (like them holding my hand or kissing me ), I am utterly unable to tell when men fancy me. I'm sure I had a much better sense of all this before I started OD!

I know what you mean Sponge

I have the "oh he's just being friendly"

Friend: "er..."

Did you enjoy yourself bant?

bant - just reread your post. If she suggested you mail her, I'd take that as an indicator of interest. She's not blowing you off by saying "I'll mail you" - you have the power.

hmm, not sure Bant, sounds like she was giving herself a few outs (meeting friend for dinner, lets not discuss date 2 now). Could be like sponge said, she was just playing her cards close to her chest/playing it safe or could be that she's just not sure about you (sorry, that's just what I was thinking when I read your post). So what do you think you'll say in your email to her?

Mac - I kind of read that 'lets not talk about this now' as a 'I don't want to say no to you in person' - it's a bit ambiguous. She was making lots of eye contact at one point, but gazing off into the room a lot at other points. Maybe, as sponge said, she's good at not giving out signals.

I've left other dates pretty much walking on air after a kiss - we didn't even shake hands, she went back to her car pretty quickly. There were definite mixed messages and I'm not sure if I can be arsed to worry about them. It would be nice if she fancied me, and I'd go out with her again to see if things developed and it was just a slow burner, but if not I'm not too worried.

As far as an email goes yoga I dunno. I'm really not sure whether I want another date. As I said, if she lived near me I'd say 'what the hell, lets see if things become clearer on a proper date rather than a quick chat in starbucks' but she doesn't so I'm not sure.

Part of me just wants to mail her and say 'so how do you think that went?'

Just don't phrase it "how do you feel about that?"

Yes I've had my fair share of vanishing men. I find ok Cupid the reverse of pof but very insincere yet entertaining.
Im shockingly poor at reading signals. Man from last week texts me almost daily. No kisses. Polite questions. Half said I'd see him Friday. No idea if he fancies me.
Twirling is Saturday.
I get limited interest
It doesn't sound promising bantam. You would know if you fancied her? I don't know though.

Ah, but if its a no from her point of view would you rather get in first? Or are you not that bothered? Sounds like you've pretty much made up your mind that you're not going to see her again so are you just hoping she might say something really nice first?

I love that feeling of walking on air after just a kiss. Hardly ever happens but when it does it can keep you going for days.

I've had that walking on air feeling twice so far since doing OD for 4 months. Once was with the Amazing Vanishing Historian, once was with SurreyGirl. Tonight, we didn't shake hands, I wouldn't have even thought about kissing her at the end, there just wasn't that connection. And while it would stroke my ego, and possibly even make me fancy her if I knew she fancied me (as I said she's attractive and funny) it just.. wasn't there somehow. damnit

So I think I'll mail her and say it was nice meeting her, she was really interesting and funny but I got the feeling she wasn't that into me. So, nice to meet her. That way, if it was her job-inspired standoffishness to blame and she actually fancied the pants off me, she can always say actually she thought I was great and she can come up my way for a second date and we can see if things develop.

Hows that for a plan?

Hmm, I had that kind of a date on friday, he also went off to meet with friends after a couple of hours. He gave mixed signals, added me on FB as we were chatting and suggested we do X next time, but quick peck on cheek and then heard nothing from him. I also wasn't overwhelmed but he seemed nice. Perhaps he was thinking like you bant, wait and see if she fancied me and says so..well I didn't text him so I've written him off. No advice here, as I'm rubbish at reading signals unless it's clear cut. I'd leave it if I was you, as I did, especially with the distance. Although, I'd expect the man to text/email first either way, so it's a bit different for you. You have the power!

Have no idea what we could be doing - we discussed salsa (I can't dance), golf (him not me), bollywood films - so it could be anything!

Still wearing a dress though!

Ooh, very clever! Good plan.

I've had that feeling exactly twice as well. Once was the very first guy I met doing OD and so the first man other than my XH I'd kissed for 18 years! It wasn't serious but we saw each other a few times and it was lovely and fun. The other was Mr60. In fact I was so silly after I met him that I listened to Jesus Jackson's "Running on Sunshine" pretty much non-stop for several days. But I am definitely NOT thinking about him anymore. Definitely.

I like that approach Bant. I'm a bit wary of strangers (they did a good job on me as a child in those personal safety classes), so I would actively avoid any spark on a first date. If the psychotherapist is treating a first date just as a first meeting, to see if she would like a proper date, she could be doing the same. If you want to see if there could be spark, you might have to ask for a second date.