Hey Maggie just came in to have a lurk, and saw your posting about your FW threatening to commit suicide. I can only endorse what the others say; it is very extreme punishing behaviour.
Would you blame someone else if you felt that way, of course you wouldn't 'put' that on someone else, but he doesn't care what a huge burden that can be if someone is prepared to accept it as their responsibility
Him saying this is absolutely about trying to make you feel bad; don't you feel bad, altho you've absolutely done the right thing by making an appt, but then dont say anything, its all up to him. ohters say, rightly, if he wants to get help he will, but be prepared for it to be an empty reaction seeking act/words. Sadly most of these aggressors have been victims who have refused to stay with their feelings, but acted them out on others instead... selfish, selfish, selfish. So not your responsibility atall. If he does kill himself it will be his choice and his responsibility, that might sound harse, but who else CAN be responsible?
Thanks so for thinking of me too, in the midst of your troubles right now. Mostly deep in thought/emo about sadness of life's events with FW, and working out where I sit in it all. Its taken a long time to come out and to try to find my feet again, and finally starting to see it for what it is (where the dividing line is, which I completely lost - the whole spaghetti head thing). DC suffering terribly at his hands, I find myself at a loss again and again at the worse than childish 'games' using DC to get his way, who benefits, not DC thats for sure. DC struggling and angry (likeyours). Hard to deal with, just staying calm and reflecting, but turning back in tears. Knowing that the anger comes from DC confusion and pain, but having to be very clear about copying FW behaving not being acceptable atall (when I know its acting out). So hard as DC cannot get over the pressure to 'perform', knowing the backlash, so is terribly anxious and carrying so much. Since separating (was it you Maggie, but others too) I have had to spend 3 hours a night staying by beds because of fears. It took 2 years to be able to leave the bedroom, moving to outside of room and then to hall, waiting for 1 hr or so, but now half hour. most recently with fw games DC in my bed every night and I read til sleep. Its incredibly hard and exhausting with no life (that would make him happy to hear - but then he is less than human and more and more I find it difficult to call the behaviour /nasty spiteful stuff 'childish' as although extremely immature, its an insult to children! Going to slope off again now.
So sorry Trying, very sad to hear of flat disappointment. Keep going hun. You will have your freedom.
my mantra for now comes to mind, "I have to change for it to be different".
(knowing the different stages we're all at, but the constant is the FWittery, which we can't change.. only we can change how we react/feel, and we need to feel stronger and have the courage of our convictions).
I am still thinking of all, and hoping for safety and strength for everyone, despite the setbacks. Peaceful night girls (and the darling children) xx