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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Dh asked me to wait up

125 replies

Kingcyrolophosarus · 06/11/2012 23:40

because he's not organised for a business trip tomorrow?!!
It's a day trip, not exactly sure how I can help?
He knows I'm feeling shit and had massive headache

I actually went to sleep with DS at 8, feel a bit better now

OP posts:
Kingcyrolophosarus · 06/11/2012 23:41

And obviously he's still out
Out for a desk night out, he'll probably be pissed

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 06/11/2012 23:46

Jesus, go to bed.

Why the fuck should you wait in for him to get in from a night out so you can organise him for a business trip.

You're not his ma.

chinley · 06/11/2012 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TodaysAGoodDay · 07/11/2012 00:04

Fuck him. He's grown up enough to look after himself. You're not his mother, for goodness sake go to bed and let him deal with his own stuff.

Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 01:43

He's just rolled in
Shouting and swearing, calling everyone and everything a cunt
Charming

OP posts:
Trazzletoes · 07/11/2012 01:48

Sounds like a right charmer. I can't believe he wanted you to wait up til 1am to sort his stuff out for him so he could be off getting hammered! Echoing all the sentiments above. Sheesh... Hope you are ok, OP.

JessicaLub · 07/11/2012 01:50

King. He sounds like a nasty drunk.
I myself am drunk; but I wouldn't shout or swear and call the whole world a cunt.
And it is abuse.
Do you feel safe ?

Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 01:54

He's asleep now, god knows how he is going to get up for his flight. But that's not my problem
My heart was in my mouth as he went past our bedroom door

I'm in with DS
Not scared, but anxious. Didn't want a row

Can't really live like this can I?

OP posts:
FatimaLovesBread · 07/11/2012 01:56

What a tit, just go to bed! How is his business trip your problem?

And chinley your DH is disruptive in bed and stands on your pillow when he knows you need to sleep Confused How old is he? If it were me I'd tell him to fuck off to the sofa

AdoraBell · 07/11/2012 01:57

Fuck that, I don't wait up unless there is a geniune medical emergency, one not caused by alcohol. Hope you're okay, and fast asleep by now.

FatimaLovesBread · 07/11/2012 01:58

No you can't. If he wasn't organised he should have come home at a reasonable hour, in a reasonable state and then maybe you could have given him a hand.
But to make you stay up then come home drunk and shouting, I'd tell him to go on his business trip and not come home until he thinks about how much of a twat and how disrespectful he is

AdoraBell · 07/11/2012 02:01

No, King you shouldn't be living like this. Can you talk to him when he's sober?

Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 02:07

Yes, I'll talk to him when he's sober
But I know how it will go- "give me a break, I'm really stressed right now, can't I just blow off some steam"

OP posts:
Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 02:10

I didn't actually wait up, I went to bed at 8 with DS, then woke up at 11.30, now wide awake. Worrying

He will more than likely sleep in and miss flight tomorrow if I don't wake him up
I think he's supposed to leave at 5/6am

I know it's his problem, but would cause all sorts of shit at work

OP posts:
DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence · 07/11/2012 02:10

No, King, you can't live like this.

Have you thought what you want to do?

DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence · 07/11/2012 02:12

X-Posted.

But what about all the shit that you put up with?

JessicaLub · 07/11/2012 02:17

King. This is no life, is it ?
You need to vote with your feet; go anywhere/somewhere.

AdoraBell · 07/11/2012 02:21

What I meant was can you have an adult conversation when he's sober? Seems not though. Have you ever told him to find another way of "blowing off steam" maybe without alcohol? My OH has a stressful job, as do a lot of people, but not everyone expects someone else to wait up and then rolls in drunk and aggressive, even if it is only verbal.

FatimaLovesBread · 07/11/2012 02:24

It's not blowing off steam if he's being aggressive and potentially risking his job by (more than likely) not getting up for his flight

sparkleyangel · 07/11/2012 02:25

and you will most likely wake him up like the good little wifey so it doesn't cause all sorts of shit at work wont you? Just to keep the peace.

Don't mean to be horrible but GET A GRIP let the sod take responsibility of his own drunken actions, might give him the kick up the arse he needs. He has no right to be treating you or your ds like this.

Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 02:25

He is out a lot, drinks a fair bit, but this is unusual

He was wasted, incoherent, mumbling, ranting
I think he phoned a few friends in the US,rambling.

Jessica, I dont have anywhere to go.
I'm miles away from family.
And I have no funds

OP posts:
JessicaLub · 07/11/2012 02:27

I'm blowing off steam, very drunk.
I wouldn't dream of abusing my family.

Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 02:27

I'm not going to wake him tomorrow Sparkley, I swear

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 07/11/2012 02:31

He was sober when he chose not to organise his business trip.
He was sober when he asked you to wait up.
And I'd presume he was sober when he made sure you had no funds.

Alcohol is not the problem here. Sad

sparkleyangel · 07/11/2012 02:31

You don't need to go anywhere, tell him to leave then claim benefits and maintenance. There's plenty of help out there for people like you if you want it.

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