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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dh asked me to wait up

125 replies

Kingcyrolophosarus · 06/11/2012 23:40

because he's not organised for a business trip tomorrow?!!
It's a day trip, not exactly sure how I can help?
He knows I'm feeling shit and had massive headache

I actually went to sleep with DS at 8, feel a bit better now

OP posts:
sparkleyangel · 07/11/2012 02:35

I was in your position ten years ago but I did it and there was a lot less help around then than there is now. Thinking of you I know what your going through.

JessicaLub · 07/11/2012 02:40

I disagree sparkley. Kingneeds to remove herself and her Son out of the cunt calling environment.
She can sort the practicalities later.

ripsishere · 07/11/2012 03:04

I would post in relationships IIWY OP.
I do have to say though, if my DH came home pissed and called us counts he wouldn't be my DH for much longer.
Depending on how long he is away for, I would use that time for making plans. Plans that didn't include him.
Good luck.

ripsishere · 07/11/2012 03:04

Not that he would call us counts. This fucking computer has a swear word deleter I'm sure. Cunts.

AdoraBell · 07/11/2012 03:10

In the short term can you start squirrelling some money away, or does he control the finances completely? Do family/friend's know about the problems at all? When you say no family near, are you within driving/train ride distance?

Original poster
Kingcyrolophosarus · 07/11/2012 06:27

Well it looks like he's missed the flight

OP posts:
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 07/11/2012 06:38

What mood is he likely to be in when he wakes up and is he likely to take it out on you?
Take ds and go somewhere for the day?

akaemmafrost · 07/11/2012 06:41

I'd have got him up just to get rid of him on the business trip.

I'd have used the time he was away to find out about benefits etc and start getting organised. What a twat he sounds.

ENormaSnob · 07/11/2012 06:41

Not an appropriate environment for a child living with a nasty drunk.

GeordieCherry · 07/11/2012 07:05

If he misses the flight he gets to see the consequences of his actions. His behaviour is not your responsibility. Well done for not waking him up Smile

Google Al-Anon, they're there to support those who are affected by other people's drinking. They're amazing! Good luck

ZillionChocolate · 07/11/2012 07:07

Hope you're alright today King. I might consider going out for the morning rather than deal with a hungover and pissed off DH.

KateByChristmas · 07/11/2012 07:11

Just read this hope you're ok - go out for a coffee this morning take no part in the fall out of this he's a big boy he can clean up the mess.

Trazzletoes · 07/11/2012 07:13

Definitely get out this morning. Will he blame you for not getting him up? (not that this is in any way your fault...).

AllOverIt · 07/11/2012 07:17

Hope you're okay Sad

Longdistance · 07/11/2012 07:18

Going out on a school night. Tut, tut!

His own bloody fault. Hope you're ok op, and he hasn't blamed you after his c word tirade.

Honestly, what a knob jockey!

redexpat · 07/11/2012 08:11

Are you ok?

fryingpantoface · 07/11/2012 08:17

Are you ok?

valiumredhead · 07/11/2012 08:20

I would take the LO out and spend the morning away from home so you aren't in the firing line.

It's HIS responsibility to sort out work arrangements, not yours - if my dh asked me to pack for him and wait up and wake him for a flight, I would laugh at him!

Hope you are ok x

whois · 07/11/2012 08:22

Oh defo go out for the day!

Seriously he sounds like a total looser.

Why do you have no money? Can you get access to some?

Do you have any friends who can help you?

OldBagWantsNewBag · 07/11/2012 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whocansay · 07/11/2012 08:49

This is the same charmer who gets off on ruining your son's birthday year after year? He's not exactly making it up to you is he? He clearly likes to be centre of attention and keep you on your toes. Leave him to it this morning, otherwise you will be in the firing line.

Hope you're OK and find the strength to get rid of this horrible man.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 07/11/2012 08:58

Hope you're alright OP.

samandi · 07/11/2012 09:00

And his redeeming features are ... ?

My DH does stuff like this all the time. He knew I had to be up at 7am this morning, yet he was purposely being disruptive in bed, standing on my pillow, making stupid noises etc., until 2:30am, I finally got to sleep at 3am.

Er, what? You do know that this is not normal behaviour for a grown adult?

HorraceTheOtter · 07/11/2012 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coocoocachoo · 07/11/2012 09:15

Hope all is OK OP, sounds like a bloody awful situation though. Does this happen often??

If you need some sort of yardstick for how other DWs/DPs might react to this sort of behaviour, I am happy to confirm that I would probably tear my DH a new one!

If this is normal behaviour, not only does it not create a loving and stable home environment but isn't very professional and may be putting his career at risk? On both counts, he is definitely being a twunt.

FWIW, if I behaved like that, DH would also have no issues pulling me up on it and telling me that this is not an appropriate way to behave.

Sounds like there may be deeper issues here than one request to stay up late because your DH has lost the plot. Really hope you get the support and help you need. This lovely lot on here will have lots of helpful advice and RL experiences as I'm sure you know - just ask.