Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

Hello lovely people! I'm pretty new to dating (in my late-30s) and recently took the website plunge but finding it a bit tricky. Please can I pick your brains??

I'm signed up to Match but I'm not happy with it. I subscribed but I didn't realise that if you 'wink' or email someone, that unless they are also subscribed they only get a notification that 'someone' has contacted them - no details. This seems wrong to me! How can the person you're contacting be encouraged to sign up too unless they know who is contacting them? I have been spending ages writing carefully-worded emails and no bugger can read them! Tsk.

In fact I rang up today to complain, not that the bloke I spoke to gave a hoot, just kept repeating his scripted response: 'we are the best dating website in the country, you have a nice profile, be patient and I am sure you will find your match soon!'

I'm also on Guardian Soulmates but not subscribed as firstly there doesn't seem to be very many people on there and also can't afford more than one right now - but I'm planning to sign up to another when my subscription on Match runs out.

So - which sites do you recommend? I know Match has a lot of blokes on there, but are there any sites where communication is more transparent (i.e. you can see who has viewed you, send 'likes' for free etc)?

Forgive me if this question is already covered on this thread but I cba to scroll through 34 pages of messages!!

Oh wolf I love that! make the best damn ready meal I'm stealing borrowing that for use on a rainy day. Welcome.

What would you like to know Western

Two, you know what fucks me off about you on this thread? You don't care one bit about sponge. You freely admit you are just annoyed she isn't taking advice so thought you would stick your unwanted two cents in just to make yourself feel better. You are the sort of person I despise thankfully sponge should know the rest of us that have been with her on these threads for the last year do care and shouldn't be put off with the likes of you. Now why don't you show how well you can take advice and do one? Set an example and all that.

Wolf, I never really did online dating for that reason. Small city and in a job I would have been easy to track down! at modern woman man

I seem to have gone out to interact with the real world at the wrong time. Messages deleted, vitriol flying, bruised cheeks and testosterone everywhere. I thought that last bit was my job.

So can someone tell me what happened? Just a quick summary. By PM if needed.

Welcome maggie. I used POF had an alright experience but you do tend to find sleazebag fuckmuppets people looking for a certain kind of relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with NSA, I could do with some right now but I'm not particularly fond of having my inbox clogged up with cock shots. Each to their own eh?

I'm sure other people will be along with their suggestions and experiences shortly.

Mildly disappointed that during my time on POF I never got a single cock shot

two people should be ^grateful that they don't get raped?*

Oh Fate, you're not missing out on much I assure you.

Eek, just read back a few pages. Feel like I've turned up a party where I don't know anyone and there's a bit of argy-bargy in the front garden. Girls sitting on the lawn with mascara running down their cheeks, shrieking 'SLAG!' at each other and the neighbours all peeping through the nets, tutting.

Bit awkward but quite exciting. Not as exciting as hearing about the cock shots though. (Does this seriously happen?? What is POF?? Just so's I know to, er, avoid it obv...)

Twois, I'm not sure what reaction you're hoping to get from me to your posts - perhaps you could explain? Are you expecting me to be offended? Upset? Angry? You clearly have a major issue with me -yet I am amused by the fact that since your earlier post got deleted as a personal attack you're now not actually using my name but referring to me as 'some people'.

I can only assume at some point either on this thread or somewhere else on MN I have offended you. You presume a lot about my life and clearly perceive it to be utterly plain sailing, apart from the fact I don't have a boyfriend. Trust me I have been through more than my fair share of shit, lots of very horrible things that I wouldn't wish on my enemies. Just because you see me upset on here about dating, don't dare presume this is the WORST thing that has ever happened to me. It isn't.

I'm slightly amused by your dreadful spelling and grammar, but otherwise your posts really have no effect on me. If you are going to continue posting, might be worth learning to spell switching off the predictive text on your phone. Unless you want people pointing out every one of your errors that is?

Maggie

generally, from what I've learned on here, and from my own experience.

POF is free but you tend to get lots of morons, ONS requests, cockshots etc. There are some good people but there is a lot of the weeding the chaff from the.. whatever it is you weed chaff from.

Match has fewer people than POF but slightly better quality. A lot are free profiles so you won't get responses.

OKC seems to be similar to Match. It's free so attracts fuckmuppets but is more effort to create a profile (answering questions) so at least they're hardworking muppets. And the profile questions allow you to see the best matches, whatever that means.

Guardian soulmates is respected but has a small number of profiles. Matchaffinity etc even fewer possibly and a high proportion of vanishers, although those that don't are decent.

Think of it like a night out. You pay to go to the opera you're going to meet a few people in the bar who are worth talking to - although not many, and possibly not for you. You go to a party behind someones barn and there will be a bunch of morons swigging scrumpy and screwing anything that moves. Lots of them though, and some of them may be okay.

Apologies to anyone from the west country. That was not a racial slur.

Woo! Go Sponge

Maggie - POF = Plenty of Fish. Don't get me wrong, there are some good ones in there, but because of a larger - population? The ratio of idiots:vageley normal people increases as well.

and two - can I just check this? I saw the date-rape thread a few weeks ago, and was obviously horrified by it, but are you now trying to imply that someone who has been on several dates should be grateful they haven't been raped? Seriously?

If so, please leave the thread and do not post on here again. If you do, we will collectively get your account and IP address blocked. You are a shitty person.

If not, apologies for my misunderstanding.

maggie just so you know, it's not normally this combative - we're actually all lovely people. The quarter moon seems to have brought out some weirdness tonight. I just got home from having drinks with a friend and I've never seen this before. How very odd.

Ok, now I've vented

Maggie, Bantam is pretty much on the money re the sites.

POF is worth a try as it's free but if you do, try hiding your profile and messaging ones you like the look of. Bear in mind as it's free you do get a lot of timewasters/non-single men/fakes/pervs and general lowlifes.

But there is the occasional good one as well. So don't rule it out.

I think Match is better than GSM - I was on Match a couple of years ago and you used to (I'm sure) be able to wink for free, and see who'd winked/messaged (if not the messages themselves). Not being able to see anything seems a PITA to me - also not knowing if people are members or not is a pain.

if you don't pay for Match you get to see 'someone has winked at you' but you can't see who. If I remember. Or maybe 'SexyDave has sent you a message' but all you can do is wink back - you've got to pay to send messages.

Mac - everything!!!

Maggie it's not usually like this! I've been on Match (ok), okc ( no luck at all, at all), squinted at Soulmates ( seems good if you're in a major city) but had most success on PoF. I know a lot of people don't like it, but I never got any rudeness or nonsense. Lots of one word e-mails but they're easy to ignore.

Lots of people off the paying sites also turn up on the free sites, either when their subscription runs out or to increase exposure ...

Had eight (I think) dates - all behaved perfectly although most weren't my cup of tea. Last date was the lovely man I'm seeing now, long may it continue - got him off PoF too so I can't really say anything against it.

I think though it all depends what you're looking for, where you live, and how good your twat radar is!

Bantam, we're like the Hotel California

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...

Western - Haha, we met on Thursday night. I was wearing a shirt that I always get a lot of postive feedback in bollocks, can't wear that tomorrow. There's a picture of my legs on my profile - for the record, I am wearing clothes, it's just a tipsy photo.

We are going for a drink at a naice place in the local town. He's cute, but seems like he can handle my humour. I am forever optimistic.

Thanks bantam, that's really helpful - including the non-racial analogy :)
Sorry, another question - OKC?

Cheers sponge and good luck dealing with the troll - not that you need it, judging from your post

maggie I've never seen it before either, not on this thread. The odd bit of grumbling, some disagreeing, but it's generally all sorted out in a very grown up manner.

wolf, thanks for being brave! my god it all sounds like a nightmare, all OD perils magnified eleventy-fold. Yikes! and as for the cooking comment, holy shit.

twois - your attitude stinks more than rotten potatoes

Just to backtrack slightly...

Thank you all so much

For the supportive posts. For all the suggestions re the LC situation and the feeling low text (Wolf thank you in particular for your post, I'm glad you de-lurked, and you have to stay among us! I can't imagine how hard dating on a small island must be...I live in Greater London and still manage to consistently encounter people who either live within a mile of me, or of where I used to live, or know people I know, it must be many times worse for you!)

I really REALLY appreciate all of it.

You are all v lovely.

maggie OKC is okcupid.com

maggie OKC is OK cupid

I don't like it (bit wordy/involved for me) but have a look. Like POF is free, but you get a better class of perv person on there :)