Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

Fate, just quickly.... i think you have to do whats right for you and your family. And i think you arw doing right by thinking of them, esp so since the recent break up before nl. And if you broke it off now it might be easier to remain friends ( in case you have to spend time together at college) but if you left it and it got messy, then it might make things way harder.

Western, im sorry to hear the news. Holding your hand and hoping its not as bad as you think.

Sponge. Hoping you have a better day today. It is weird. But-maybe the lovely c isnt so lovely after all. What with the nuderequest pic and then vanishing withoyt the decency of a text..... ( i know that doesnt help much though)

Fayster as I pointed out to him I couldn't look him up because he hadn't told me his surname - I meant to ask then but conversation went off at a tangent and got forgotten..

Fate is it worth having an open chat with him? Tell him you're worried about the kids getting attached to him, I would feel the same that it's not fair on them if it's set to go nowhere. You've got nothing to lose by asking a few questions, but might be worth finding out what he feels before you end it?

I'd better enrol at my local college then.

morning all, just marking my place. Ill today, haven't felt this dreadful since the last time I was pregnant (no, no chance, don't ask) so will just be watching.

Bant if there is no spark there is no spark .. No amount of alcohol will create it (but may make it easier to make do!)

How do I politely make it clear on my profile that unless you have something interesting to start off a conversation don't contact me .. I had one guy who has messaged 'hi' 3 days in a row and has now sent 'hi your pretty' which gave me the heebies so I've blocked him

Handy hints welcome

Hi all, hugs to those needing....Fate its tricky if you believe you don't have a long term future. My advice, fwiw would be to not invest any more emotionally to protect yourself. Voice of bitter experience.
Bantam its so hard to know, when you've been Off the Scene a while. Maybe try another meet up with nurse and review then?
Someone said about OD falling into polarised positions of charming handsome chancers after sex and the untouchables, and I am finding this too. Had two contacts from guys yesterday plainly after The Sex despite profile and message lies to the contrary. Have blocked 3 of these charmers in the past week...The whole psychology of OD is interesting. Do men do it instead of going out on the pull? Probably, when they are only looking for ONS. In which case, a lot of weeding out is going to be necessary. last weekend, someone messaged me, and within 5 mins wanted me to go round to HIS and to BRING WINE! Not a lot of effort for him then, eh? He also had hidden pics, and he was quite sexy, so bet he was a player, and didn't want to reveal to someone whol he had done that to already. It's very wearing.... Not heard from Hubba hubba, but he sent the last message yesterday. I am trying in my old age not to invest, and have also taken on board the advice to meet fairly quickly. Would you say giving your mobile no out before you meet was a bad idea?

Watch it doesn't really help but thanks for trying. I feel worse today if anything. Probably because there was a little bit of me that thought I'd get a text this morning. Hope really is a fucking bitch. The whole thing makes no sense and I can't stop thinking about it.

And if that wasn't bad enough am meant to be in an important meeting today but I've lost the paperwork and don't have time to redo it beforehand. No idea what I'm going to do.

Fate, your age gap is barely anything, I wouldn't break it off with him without finding out exactly what he thinks about the situation. He may be young, but he could also be mature emotionally beyond his years and more than capable of not being freaked out by any of it. MY DD's dad was a great dad at 21. I definitely wasn't too shoddy myself either and I was only 16 :o

If I was looking for a long term relationship, and happened to meet someone younger who it all 'worked' with, who viewed me and my daughter as a unit that isn't something to 'take on' but rather something positive and lovely that will enhance their life, then I'd be happy giving it a shot.

That said I do have a 6 month rule about meeting my daughter. Only when it's been serious and working for that long would I let anyone meet her.

So anyway I think what I'm saying is I would give it a chance, obviously depending on what he says when/if you talk to him about it, but I would keep the relationship seperate from the kids for now - not that they shouldn't know he exists, but just so they don't have a chance to be attached until you know he's committed and it's all working. So no hanging round and entertaining them days out all together etc, and being part of their lives until you know it's got 'legs' beyond the honeymoon stage.

Kirsty it doesn't matter what you say in your profile you will still get those messages. I've done similar in the past and it made no difference whatsoever to the 'hi' crew.

Thanks guys will think on it and decide what I am doing soon.

Guess who's no longer an OD virgin? :)

Not sure what to make of last night, certainly nothing like I was expecting - he couldn't seem to get over his luck! Spent most of the two hours between me saying 'Oh, hello, sorry I didn't recognise you. I was expecting someone taller' to his chaste-ish goodnight kiss saying again how lovely I am, how he wanted to do everything he could to make me happy. All in a very sweet, non-creepy way.

Having been starved of any attention for years, I was happy to lap it up, but know you lot are going to warn me of red flags!

Does it count, or just make me mean, to enjoy it at least once more, if I know ft's unlikely I'll ever reciprocate?

Glad you had fun secret .. I don't see why you shouldn't see him again

Any advice re my previous post folks?

Sponge..... I know this sounds stupid, but are you sure nothing has happened? Have you called him at all? I dunno, it DOES all seem a bit weird, although not unheard of - I've had this sort of thing happen a couple of times over the years, and I never found out what happened. I do understand why you're so puzzled.

Parsley

I think OD covers a broad spectrum of humanity, if you want to be cynical you can divide it into two lots, but I think I don't fit into either of those categories.

I've been on a date (or two, now I think of it) where we've had to change the location at the very last minute as the pub we'd arranged to meet at was closed for a private party. So if you arrange a where and when, you've kind of got to give out your number in case things do need to change. Probably not your home number though, if you have one, until you know them better.

And don't give it out too early or you fall into the trap of lots of buildup with someone who gives great text, but fails to sparkle in person.

Parsley, although I'm very new to all this, my take on my mobile number, was not until after we'd fixed a firm date and time to meet.

It seemed daft not to trust someone with a phone number when I was willing to meet them in the flesh, but didn't want them to have it if they just fancied extending the ways to chat.

It also means there no excuse for a no show or being very late. No benefit of the doubt needed!

Secret - glad you had a good time - why not go out again if you enjoyed it - it might be better on the second date, things might be clearer or you might definitely decide he's not for you.

Parsley - I think you probably should exchange numbers before a first date, just in case something comes up and one of you is delayed etc. I am generally careful who I'm giving my number to tho, if you're in any doubt, then don't, just arrange a quick chat and coffee to see what he's like and decide after that. Is this 6-pack you're meeting?

Thanks all. Just posting my (limited) and someone else's experience Bant so don't shoot me!
That is good advice, not sure what will happen about 6 pack rask have just replied to his message this morning.

Although I have been favourited by a local builder who looks suprisingly normal so far...

Ah well. Things are finished with the nurse then. We both felt the lack of spark and both said that you can't really force these things once they're not there.

So that's Safrican and Nurse, both finished with in the space of 4 days, after 2 dates with them. One my choice, one mutually. Could still be mates with Nurse though, just without the potential for nudity.

On the plus side, a venezuelan girl from near my work messaged me again, having disappeared for a couple of weeks, and wants to meet for coffee. Very attractive, seems sweet. So, first date for next week when we sort out the timing, and I can go back to all those 'favourites' I didn't get in touch with while seeing how second dates worked out.

Onwards and upwards.

well it seems XH has some uses after all, begged him to send me over some medicine & he was stupidly grateful that i'd asked. hated to do it but i was desperate

bant personally once i decide there's no chemistry with someone I really don't want to see them again. I'm not looking for more friends, i have loads of lovely friends. I want someone for kissing, shagging and hopefully a relationship. if that's not going to happen i cut my losses early on.

sorry, can't reply to everyone this morning i just can't keep my head up

oops x-posted. probably a good decision bantam

banta I would say if you are ready for a relationship bug don't feel a spark with the nurse I wouldn't arrange another date! And perhaps like you said it may he forcing it a bit if you suggest alcohol for another date! I think it's much better of there is naturally a spark!

western so sorry about your news sending ((hugs))

Morning all.
Sponge have nothing to contribute that hasn't already been said except to say your post was very eloquent and left me in no doubt that some Weird Shit is at work here, and it's not you. Well it is insofar as you are clearly too good for the lot of them, and they know it. As for LC, it doesn't really matter what was said or done, the fact is he said all manner of smooshy mush then asked for a naked picture. He gave a smooth reply when you called him on it, and then, in a nutshell, fucked off. Nice.
I learned pretty quickly that it doesn't matter what dizzy heights were reached during an initial date in terms of word or deed, you need a day or two to process afterwards, away from the influence of alcohol/pheremones/etc.
You just don't know who is a person is right away, or if the connection you make with them, if any , has the potential to last.

I am a big fan of doing the whole thing sober (easy for me I know, as I don't drink alcohol) and taking a big step back from anything physical until I felt the time was right. I spoke up about it from the start so DP didn't think it was him. I didn't even greet him with a peck on the cheek, which he took as non-interest till I explained why.

The reason I was so cautious is because of ex and the overpowering effect he had on me at the start of the relationship. I was so smitten by his alpha maleness that I ignored my churning guts and better judgement. So I took it slowly with DP, made sure I felt comfortable with him, tested his responses to my reticence, then made a move pounced on him Luckily the chemistry was there but it might not have been.

Conversely if you start off with chemistry don't assume you're automatically heading for happy-ever-after. Just IME and IMHO.

Watch Happy to hold your hand and hoping for a good outcome. Congrats on the job too

Bant see above for my take on alcohol and dating. I think you sound like a pretty good catch tbh

No time to comment on you all, but good advice all round.