Bizarroville!! PoshBoys, Muppets, Surgeons, nurses, coffee addicts and RL - dating thread 27!

[lubeybooby]

Roll up roll up get yer dating chat here... all kinds of dating...

Online, RL, established, new, join in and blether away!

libbey - great post. i agree. a great social life, friends, job etc etc does not make up for a partner. not for a second. and like you said if people didnt want it marriage and dating sites wouldnt be so popular.

Sponge, its not your fault. Its just fucking shit. and i do understand. its the lenght of time and hopes dashed and all that stuff that makes it hard. harder than people might think.

I dont know what advice any of us can give, because clearly we dont have the answer. Noone does. But just know we are here,and will listen and care.

sponge sorry that he didnt get back to you. I completely understand that its not him your upset about but your life. Clearly we all feel like that sometimes and its hard being a single parent and not feeling like anyone is there to love or appreciate you... Every time you have a date we are all here routing for you and really hoping it works out.

I'm not sure what might help you with your self esteme, have you ever considered counselling? I'm not saying it in a judgemental way because I have been going to counselling for two years since leaving exdp who was controlling and cheater. I felt I needed help to stay strong (even though to everyone around me I appear to be strong and independant).

Perhaps that could help. Anyway we all care about you here and don't want you to leave the thread. You have to stay here until you are happily married one day xxxxx

watch thats sounds amazing I'm glad the job is going well. What do you do? sorry I'm not on the thread everyday, but your job sounds very glam

Well as I said I'm glad things are finally going well with mr workaholic, but I feel very out of practise of being in a relationship as I have been single for so long. When I'm with him it all comes naturally gladly.

I cant believe i actually feel excited about him after all this time. He has been much nicer and so have I even cooking for him on two occasions

the thing is I am wondering how easy it is how have a relationship with dcs? I know others have done it but I just dont know how its all going to work out.

when i have had relationships in the past they naturally progress because there are no dc's involved.

I've also deleted myself off the dating websites now

Well my posts were quite ranty whiny.

Pass the crown.

moving- im working for a very ' naice' shop that has its much anticipated christmas advert being shown online for the first time tomorrow, proir to its tv showing sat.
:)
ive never done retail, much to everyone surprise, we have support in store as its brand new and one of the support staff thought i was the other support person, he couldnt believe i had never worked in retail. my manager couldnt either, said she wasnt going to let me go and i was a gem.
i was worred it was such a step down the career ladder, and such a different direction, but actually, i think it could possibly work out to be the best move ive made ( ive already been there for 2.5 weeks) and i could have a very long career with this company.

and i was glam today, everyone was and customers kept coming up to us and telling us so. Was quite nice actually in my £10n asda skirt

glad things seem to have changed so much with mr workaholic. i think, if you want it to work, you make it work, and if you dont, then its too much effort. for the right person it becomes easy ;)

Oh I think I could compete for the whiny and self-obsessed crown too!

I'm frankly desperate for a boyfriend but the men I meet fall into two categories:

a - attractive, charming etc. but just want to use me for sex until someone better comes along;
b - unattractive and no one else will have them.

I am very guilty of investing far too much emotionally in these men only for them to turn out to be utter muppets!

Sponge - like everyone here, I hope you'll come back. I don't know if LC has a genuine reason for not getting in touch or if he's just a muppet, either way we'd all like to be there for you (and vice versa!)

I'm a fraud and a charlatan, I said I wouldn't post again and look here I am.

Thank you all, especially for the PMs, I will reply. I don't hate anyone. I don't think anyone's opinion is less valid. I am just very tired of it all, and being told -not necessarily on here, it's mainly RL tbh - to be happy, to appreciate what I have, to make more effort, to 'really try' OD .

And you know I do try. I really do. Look at that godawful thread where I linked to my profile. I've tried changing my profile, I lost lots of weight (though I might've put a lot back on), I went on better quality dating sites. And none of it works. Not really.

Oh no, I forgot. It DOES work. I got my second date. So I should be grateful for that and fuck anything else I might actually want. Why the hell should I be grateful for something so insignificant compared to what others have?

That's me being a bitch. I'm not always nice. Sorry :(

I am very touched by all of you taking the time to post. And it makes me :( that there is so much sadness/unhappiness/pain amongst us. I want to hug all of you who feel, or have once felt, unhugged and unloved. And as someone who is v cringy about physical contact that is a big deal for me :)

I am upset about LC. I am also upset about nothing having changed. It's 50/50 between him and the general situation. Yes I barely knew him - but in 2 dates we did spend over 13 hours together. He appeared to be genuine. He was very different from other dates I have had, and I liked him much more, and that seemed mutual. We got on brilliantly. We held hands all through date 2, whilst sitting in the pub, whilst walking along. I felt very comfortable with him (and he said the same). He said he wanted to see me again, he text me post 2nd date and the next day.

I really cant work it out. With most of the other first dates, I either got a reason, even if a bullshit one or can have a pretty good guess at why I didn't hear from them. But LC, I just can't figure it out, didn't see it coming during or immediately after date 2, and I am sad, disappointed, etc. And I never got the sodding cake he promised me on our 3rd date either . I'd just like a reason - even a 'it's not you it's me' kind of thing. He held doors open for me and walked on the outside of the pavement, helped me with my coat etc - and then he just stops texting. Makes no bloody sense.

See - UTTERLY self obsessed.

That really makes no sense. Did he not reply to your text after that? So weird.
Sounds so perfect. .

Another long time lurker here. Im a successful graduate from OD, although it took me more than 6 years and way over 100 dates before I met my now DH. Very few of the men I met made it past the first meeting for one reason or another - sometimes my decision and sometimes not. I didnt really know what I wanted other than to love and be loved, but I knew within 10 minutes of meeting DH that I'd found it.

I do understand (and remember) by the way how annoying it is to hear this when you are still looking.

Good luck to you all - I have been where you are now and although I did have some fun along the way, there were also many times when it was really painful and demoralising. Its a game of numbers I think, and for everyone you hear of that met their OH within 2 or 3 dates, there has to be others like me that took many many many more

I may just add that I was no hot young thing - I was 53 when I met DH, a single mum with 3 children (youngest of whom was not yet a teenager), working full time so always tired and believe me, I'm no oil painting!

watch I have recently gone into retail aswell. I was also worried it was such a step down, it is money wise but I'm glad I have a job that is not stressing me out right now. So are you a shop assistant? Or something else?

yes I think you are right, if you want to make it work you can

Watch (well done on the job btw, I think it will be fab for you in terms of development etc and you'll have a whole new social circle!) date 2 was all a bit perfect, walking hand in hand along the Strand late at night, stopping every so often to kiss, it was like something out of Love Actually

he text me post date 2 to say thanks for such a great time, was lovely to see you again etc - 7 kisses (he's normally a 1-2 kiss person, as am I)

I didn't reply, then Tuesday morning he text how are you, etc. Couple of texts exchanged between us, then I asked if he was free Weds eve.

He replied later saying, Oh shit, sorry I can't do tomorrow. I said well, another time then, he said yes, etc, I said hopefully sooner rather than later.

Then nothing. Today I text and said 'How are you, would be good to see you again soon, are you free sometime over the weekend'

and zilch.

I don't know if I'm missing something?

Or maybe he's been abducted by aliens...

Moving, essentially, yes :) but they call it something else and its a bit more involved than that. They have a standard for excellence and its not tills or re stocking stuff.

Sponge, you arent missing anyyhing. That is weird and doesnt seem right with how he behaved. Makes no sense. I think any of us wpuld be very confused.

sponge it makes absolutley no sense and it is shit.

Umm in fairness sponge your texts were nice but casual in tone, it could be he is busy and was reading the texts as casual so no rush. If not he's just being twatish. Whatever ,you have been totally appropriate it seems. Only we know your concerns.

Watch, it sounds very glamourous. Glad you're enjoying it. I know you thought it was a step in the wrong direction, but it sounds like you still gave it your all and that's shining through. I love that sort of positivity.

Sponge, it's shit. It isn't you. I have no idea why he hasn't text you, I can't see anything from those texts that would suggest he's not as into you as you were into him. It really is his loss.

Moving, really, not having kids at my age is more of a hindrance! I do miss that looking forward and being excited about seeing someone, and knowing that they're excited about seeing you. Sounds like things are going well with Mr Workaholic.

Ah. Apparently nurse felt the spark was missing too. Crap. Good to know she's honest at least. There was a spark on the first date and we snogged for hours.

Crap. Suggest a third date with alcohol?

Mm, alcohol does help with spark. I avoid alcohol on a first date for that very reason - I don't want my judgement clouded by any chemistry that might occur because I've let my inhibitions down and flirted. Once I know someone's a decent sort, I'd be happy to have a drink, but OD doesn't seem to work like that. Most people seem to be looking for the spark from the get go.

Hmm that's odd bantam if it was there before. Must be the setting.

I think I would probably suggest it - nowt to lose!

Can anyone hold my hand a bit? Lovely Man just phoned to tell me some bad news as the doctors have found a lump (shit shit) and he has to go in for an op very soon probably in about a week to remove it. Feel really worried, will admit to having a little cry. Shit arse feck etc etc.

Western, I'm so sorry. You must both be worried sick. Are you going to see him before he goes into hospital?

That is horribly worrying OWW

Yes I'm going to see him tomorrow then I hope we can fit something else in before he goes in. I'm pretty upset, well really upset actually. Think he means a bit more to me than maybe I thought.

De-lurking to send Sponge a virtual hug. It is shit and makes no sense .

bantam No reason not to give another date with alcohol a go, but if a spark is only alcohol-induced, it probably isn't enough?

western think you need a virtual hug too, hope all will be ok.