Concerned about attempted silencing/derailing of issues (via hunting/mocking)

[Halfway]

I posted a thread in AIBU yesterday (perhaps foolishly), which thankfully did turn out to be very helpful, but also turned out to be extremely hurtful. And while overall, I gained a great deal of benefit/clarity/insight from it, I also spent a great deal of the day in tears and/or raging, and feeling generally crap about myself.

The post was about a friend, which led a lot of people to think I musn't be that emotionally invested, because it wasn't about me.

However, I was emotionally invested because I felt like I was watching my friend potentially walk into a very, very dangerous situation (which could end up in her hurt or even dead), and worse, I had the realisation that I could not stop her, but could only try to, and may very well fail.

In the context of that worry, these are the specific things I am complaining about:

a) sustained piss-taking/mocking (which not only humiliate/hurt me, but distracted and derailed the thread, with others jumping on board)

b) failure/refusal to stop the piss-taking/mocking when asked nicely to, and despite my making it clear that I was finding it painful

LET ME MAKE IT VERY CLEAR - I have nothing against genuine concerns, disagreements, and even disbelief of my thread, or specifics in my posts if these things are stated outright (not passive-aggressively buried in in-jokes), and if the posters simply make their position clear and report to MNHQ.

There is a valid need for this kind of watchdog activity, and I am in no way trying to stop that.

But the mocking, especially the sustained mocking by some posters, and 'ha ha' twisting of my dilemma into a funny joke conversation... well that hurt. That really hurt. And I've been seriously hurt in the past (raped, beaten to broken bones), so am no hand-wringing wallflower. It was triggering.

I think that behaviour is wrong, and I think it is going to hurt a lot more people other than me. Perhaps it is already hurting people who have severe issues of their own, and feel they cannot post because they will be laughed at.

Anyway, I'm concerned about it, deeply concerned, and still a bit disturbed myself (although much emotionally cooler).

I'm also not sure how this fits into "Relationships", so apologies if it seems weird here, but I seem to be inviting more suspicion by posting in AIBU, so here it is, and I'm grateful to anyone willing to listen.

No, I don't think it's Pen anymore, it's far, far too self important.

I don't understand why such blatant troll hunting is allowed on this thread when MNHQ have said that the OP isn't a troll.

As the OP appears to have left the thread, Zombie thinks the current discussion should be taken elsewhere so that this thread can fade away as the OP said she was now ready for it to do.

What, like OTBT, Zomb?

Out with the trash imo.

Well, yes, quite; into the dustbin is presumably the intention.

Ok I am only up to 13 of 16 pages currently BUT.

OP

1. you posted a horrific thread with no warning (yes next time you would apparently do that differently but I will only know that IF MN CHANGE THEIR RULES)
2. you referred to 'cutting' so casually in said thread it hurt my fucking eyes
3. you finally came out with the 'broken person' rape and abuse stuff.

PLEASE take this on board. it is not just whether your thread topic was incredibly full on (tho it was). i avoid threads on MN about abuse and rape. There is a reason for that.

You threw all manner of shit in my face when I innocently opened a 'IABU to think this is creepy?' Thread. On Halloween. How the fuck was I going to be prepared for that???

So. Mocking, piss taking, made you feel shit. We can't rewrite MN for you... Unless you want to rewrite it for me? Your thread made me feel like shit.

Think it's time this thread took flight.

Just showing you the other side, in case you're interested.

No, not necessarily to OTBT, zilly. Just to a new thread. Chat would be fine.

Discussion of what, though? Whether troll hunting is a fine and noble bloodsport? Whether the Talk Guidelines are a pile of nonsense?

gingha

I'm coming back to respond to you, and your post only.

I'm so very sorry for that, honestly so very, very sorry.

I did that out of blind stupidity, because I very truly did forget that many people would find those things extremely horrifying.

I don't find some of those things extremely horrifying any more unless I stop to think about it, because I am almost completely jaded to them, because of my own life experiences.

Now that I have been made aware I need to be far more careful, I can only assure you that I will absolutely make every effort to be.

I will precede any thread in the future that I think could possibly be triggering, with a warning that says so (and will put that in the title too).

I really am extremely sorry. Hurting you was the last thing I meant to do, and I feel sick at the thought. I hope you are feeling better today.

These troll hunting threads always go the same way.

If they were UCAS Personal Statements, they would be caught by the Plagiarism filter.

Can I just interrupt to say a big warm gushy welcome back to Solid. Thanks.

I'm really disappointed that she didn't say anything about mundanes though. Tis good to see her back :)

'course you can, UA

maybe something good can come of this thread [hgrin]

We live in hope.

There's an echo

echo

echo

echo...

Troll hunting is certainly a very unoriginal sport.

halfway

honey. let it go now.
the thread had run its course yesterday. it was full on, and you are on a parenting website, sexual cannibalism isnt usual fare, so it raised some eyebrows, aroused suspicion. Does that shock you? really?
no one tried to silence you.
you are free to post, and i actually came to your defence on that thread - i dont think you are a troll at all. i think you misjudged everything, but im glad that you saw the outrage tbh - if that didnt give you the wake up call you needed re your friend then nothing would.
im sorry you felt hurt, but at the point at which it was starting to get to you you need to learn to click hide....really you do.
so what if people think your are looking for a story, so what if you are not believed? you got what you needed from the thread - its futile to keep arguing a point that is lost in the outrage. you got the opinions you needed. take from it what was useful.

i hope you are ok. i hope you keep posting. fwiw i believed you then, and i understand your need now to try and explain yourself - but in doing so you are just adding fuel to the fire. there will be people who do not believe you and there will be sod all you can do about that.

leave it now eh? what good is this doing?
you re not saving others from the same fate, flamings are always going to happen. ive had my share. you live to fight another day, and more importantly - if your friend listens to you, so does she.