Onwards and upwards we go, still sniggering at the sausage seeing the roll Dating thread 26

[lubeybooby]

New one!

All dating related gumph here.

when you say 'I'm single' type noises, what do you mean? Grunting and calling out for a chinese takeaway?

sorry watch. It's a bit weird feeling left out of a huge group like that. If it's any consolation we're all still a bit sad and single :)

I dont feel left out at all. I dont have any issues with that.
Just perplexed why i seem to find it so difficult to have any kind of decent relationship when everyother fucker can manage it

Plus. Even though i know its not me. And i did the right thing by finishing it... i still feel crap and unattractive. In the last month ive ended a five month and a one month relationship ..... people look at me odd when i say that

Bantam - sage advice. Thank you. I see this in my kids a lot when they have too much choice. They become paralysed by indecision.

I have managed to weed out a few by deleting all those without pictures, the man who is looking for a woman with family values, the man who sent a joint message from him and his dog, the ones just looking for sex and one with a name " piercedsausage" which doesn't appeal. I've had a quick look at pics and to be honest there are not many that do it for me and most of the messages are dull. Suddenly my list looks a lot shorter. Maybe I'm too fussy.

okay. the obviously russian girl winked at me for a third time in 4 hours. So I translated:

but hark! what light through yonder window breaks! It is the east and Juliet is the sun!. Whether tis nobler to.. something something.

I always get confused by people who are obviously not english speakers trying to pretend they are. Saying they are British, for example, when they're obviously not. And their profile is gibberish.

it's just weird.

into

However, the heart! Light to break through the windows! Is the east and Juliet sun. If it is noble .. some things.

I always confuse obviously not English-speaking people are trying to pretend they are. Say they are British, for example, when they are clearly not. Installation of nonsense.

This is incredible.

via Russian, Icelandic, Yiddish, Chinese and back to English. I think it's quite poetic.

and sent it to her. I expect a gmail address from her any second now..

snail - you're single at the moment, through your choice because no one was right for you. It doesn't mean you're too picky it just means that at this point in time, in the place you're looking and meeting people, there wasn't the right connection made. I would look at a group of people like that and think well if that bloke over there can be happily coupled up, jesus, I should be able to find someone for me. I'll keep looking.

And a good proportion of those couples won't be together in X months time. And some of them will be unhappy and wish they'd been smarter in choosing a partner, and screaming on the inside while looking down their noses at single people.

Sorry, do I sound bitter?

Watch better to end a relationship that isn't working than settle for something that is causing you stress. But you already know that Enjoy the rest of your course, look forward to having you back.

There are male scammers on dating sites! My mum got really hooked in by one.

He was a Nigerian pretending to be a jeweller of German origin. Chatted my mum up, declared love really quick, sent fake pics, phoned her all the time. Gave some story about needing to transfer money to pay for shipping of jewels so he could move here and get a flat and move my mum in.

She got as far as receiving a weatern union transfer, and tranferring it on to him before I had to step in and make her wake up. I googled the name he was using and it came up on romance scam sites with other women reporting him.

She fell for it because she's lonely and very vulnerable which is what they prey on. Took ages and a lot of google based proof to get her to realise.

Well I've just got back from my first date and I think it went well because he's just asked me out tomorrow

Watch - in the last two years I have ended an eight year marriage and a one year relationship I would have saved myself a lot of grief had I ended them in those early months! Neither bloke was right for you, simple as that.

I think relationships are totally overrated anyways.

Watch its much easier to stay with the wrong person than end it. I have several friends in that position who are still there because they kid themselves its better than being alone, or they won't find anyone else. And look at it this way you've met 2 men you've liked, who've liked you. That's a lot more than some of us i have done. And the only reason ots ended is b ecause you - rightly - have decided they're not right/ good enough for you. There's nothing wrong with high standards :)

still lurking.. am struggling at moment with my six months off od. think I'm about 6-7 weeks in lol. am coming to conclusion it will be only way of meeting anyone as I just don't get opportunities to meet anyone in rl.

I have an old male school friend who occasionally contacts me for chats and asks how I am..(he sometimes is flirty towards end of chat) and I think he's my problem as he's in my head all the time and I need to stop replying to his messages ( he always instigates a chat - I hadn't heard from him in years till he randomly messaged me on fb 3yrs ago) (can you block email addresses on hotmail? I can't block his text messages from iPhones can I? ) in reality I know nothing will ever come of our chats but how do I stop thinking of him?!? (I've probably had a crush on him since we were 8!)

nice work slightly. Go on. Details. (my god you lot have feminised me)

worley - sorry I don't see the problem here. He's single (?). He's flirting with you, he obviously likes you, and you've fancied him for years. Why do you want to block him?

watch - what sponge said

Well, you will all be surprised to find out that I didn't, in the end, message BiggusDickus back. I just felt I really didn't deserve such a man. I have also 'passed over' TightTonedTanned (19 years old) for similar reasons. I'm just not worthy!

On another note....I had a message (via OD site) from someone who clearly knew me. It turned out to be someone I met over 3 years ago. We got on really well when I had to take his details for something he was buying from the shop I worked in. I (naughtily!) made a note of his mobile number and took a whole week to screw up the courage to text him (never done that before or since). He was really pleased and said he'd kicked himself for not asking me out there and then! :) We 'dated' for about 4 months but he had a mad ex (nails in his car tyres, watching his house etc) and I was still having to live in the same house as my ex as it took 9 months to sell after we had split up. The timing was wrong then but I did like him and we had a really good time (even DTD!). And, he'd like to meet up again! We have a date for next Tuesday. I've put on a little bit of weight since he saw me last but not planning on ripping my clothes off on the first night so may just be OK.

Bantam loving the translation stuff!

Confused - tell us more! So glad it went well. But what do you think of him?

worley - what bantam said!

slightly, yes details! Very glad it went well :o

sponge - good luck today!

Watch I often feel like you do right now. But, you have to know that a proportion of those couples are not happily in love. I call it the 'Snapshot' view - you only see the smiling, public face of the relationship. For me, before I left the ex, we trotted out the PR version of our relationship because we weren't about to have a slanging match in front of our friends - embarrassing them and us. People were surprised when they found out we were splitting up (not my close friends, natch). ATM I have a friend who just hasn't got the the 'it's really not going to get any better than this, it's going to get worse' point. Close friends can see it's going 'tit's up' but she's not ready to see it yet. But they still show up as a united, happy couple when out.

And anyway Watch it's not us IT'S THEM! Enjoy your 4 poster bed and the mini bar and sod the rest of them! x

Sponge Good luck for tonight, just relax and enjoy yourself and have a good evening. x

well.. he's always said he was single. although this time when he emailed me to ask how I was doing he said he just started dating someone.. so I replied and said he shouldn't be messaging me if he's dating. he said I'm just being friendly and wondered how I was. and his messaged me for chats three more times since then. and I stupidly reply. I have no will power. It's kind if made me suspicious he has been with someone all along and just chatting to me which made me feel bad iykwim. I think I need to block him. if he was interested in dating me he would have asked over the past 3 years wouldn't he?!

worley

no. Not necessarily. Maybe he likes you and he's flirting and you haven't been flirty back so he hasn't asked you for a date

Sorry, I feel like I keep dropping in and out of this thread, which probably just reflects how I am feeling about the whole online dating thing as well, hope it's ok to sneak back into the new thread?

EiPie My ex and I were the same, in public, most people thought we were a fantastic couple, but things were very different behind closed doors. And I was very definitely one of those people who hung on for far, far too long in a relationship that I now see was abusive and controlling, because I thought it was better to stay than be alone.

Bantam i love your use of google translate.

Giesa Such charmers, how could you resist?

sponge hope things go really well tonight

Lubey Thank goodness you realised what was going on. I'm now fairly sure that one of the men who messaged me last week was a scammer, and am so glad I didn't reply after the initial message (claiming to be an american serviceman, wasn't living in England, was close to leaving army and wanting to move back to England to be near his children, etc....)
So, when i posted on the old thread, I had ongoing issues with a work colleague who is not single but would clearly like me to be his bit on the side, he seems to have got the message that it's not going to happen,maybe he's found someone else willing to take on that role, but in any case, things are fine again. I hope.
In terms of OD..Have politely declined to go for coffee with Mr Coffee, because really, we had nothing in common, and the messages weren't going anywhere, it was all just a bit ..dull. He seemed to only be able to talk about work and what he'd watched on TV that night.

However..I'm going for coffee next week, with someone else I've been messaging. Decided to just be brave and ask if he wanted to go for coffee, then had a panic and wished i hadn't, but he replied and seemed pretty pleased to be asked. Have never asked anyone out before. Didn't know if he'd be freaked out. Though suppose there is plenty of time yet for him to change his mind! [hsmile]

I love this thread. So much hope. Sorry for you guys who are feeling blue. Things just happen sometimes!? I try believe that...

I spent til 4am (I know) texting my xbf who did my head in and pretty much ruined my life. Every time i said 'night' he sent me a sad face or told me I was amazing, or that he loved me. FFS. I was so low I didn't turn my phone off. Couldn't sleep anyway. Ended with him telling me he had met someone else and did I want to join in. Luckily didn't engage with any of his heavy physical hints and did get some of the stuff I needed to off my chest - but still, falls on deaf ears anyway, have managed to ignore him for 6 weeks and not engage at all. Buggeration.

On top of that have somehow managed to 3 email addresses and 2 dates since logging back onto the site last night. oops. Definitely replacement therapy. Also texted widower to ask for a proper explanation - well I was up all night, and didnt really get one, but a patronising hug.

So, first date advice from Bantam coming into its own anyway... and I have learnt so much from this thread, glass is half empty now for a start - and i don't mean that as a negative - but as a positive, I am getting wise. Thanks xx

Hi, please can I join? Old MN lag, very new dater and feeling like scared!

Even just a bit of help on the etiquette would help. Am I, for instance, expected to reply to every message, 'like'?.

And why after two weeks do i feel liike I'm entering some sort of twilight world, where the past 20 years of social evolution has just not occurred!?

Secretservice

Some people (usually people who have never done online dating, or very jaded male daters) say that it's only polite to reply with a polite 'no thanks'

However in practice it's quite different. You send your polite no, and then get questioned about why, begged to be friends instead or just chat, or even abuse straight off, accused of thinking you're too good etc. Being asked why is a nightmare too, do they really want me to asassinate their charachter and profile? Urgh, no. Just no.

So as you can probably tell, I tried the polite route and found it awful.

With you on the social evolution thing! Dating sites seem full of attitudes stuck 20 yrs ago. There is the odd goodun amongst the eejits though. Ones with actual social scruples!

It was everything a first date should be. He was kind, funny, intelligent. Asked questions and actually listened when I spoke. Complimented me, held my hand throughout the movie. A kiss goodnight and a request to see me again. Followed immediately after I got on the bus by a text thanking me for a great night. We met at 6 and I got on the bus at 12 lol