Onwards and upwards we go, still sniggering at the sausage seeing the roll Dating thread 26

[lubeybooby]

New one!

All dating related gumph here.

Well that depends on your definition of 'scammer' really
I hear you, and I did think that myself, I have come across plenty of guys who were scammers, but not of the nigerian 'I want to deposit a million in your bank account' variety.

oh it's okay. The nurse got that it was a joke. Phew. Cuba is not a good place to elope to anyway. Apart from the rum. And the cigars. And the simmering sexual tension.

Actually....

snape have you ever read anything by Rikki Ducornet - Fountains of Neptune or Phosphor in Dreamland. Read them a long time ago but seem to think they might be up your street. Also two books I keep meaning to read but haven't gotten round to yet - The Sixteen Pleasures by Robert Hellenga, and more of a sci-fi one called IQ84 by Haruki Murakami.

Just looked up the Night Circus and have added it to my wish list.

speaking of new threads, by the way, we should remember KnobMonster when we get round to that point.

Oh how depressing that I think I'll still be on here by the time a new thread rolls around. No offence :)

oh dippy you're not a fool. You met someone you liked, he made the right noises, it's understandable you would develop feelings for him. BUT I think he has been through a difficult time, I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with the death of a spouse, and maybe although he thought the time was right for him, in fact it was too soon etc. Timing is such a big thing in relationships. Allow yourself to be sad that it's over. But you can also tell yourself that your relationship radar is working well, because you picked up on signals that something wasnt quite right between you, and being that aware of things is great, and stands you in good stead in the future. Also, at least he has ended things relatively early on, which shows he's a decent bloke, I expect it's just not the right time for him.

Have some chocolate, and wine. Or tea. Do some nice things for yourself.

iQ84 is on my wish list at the moment actually. :)

Bantam if you think that's depressing, some of us have been here since the very first thread and still haven't had a second date :)

I am meeting PoshBoyname at 7 tomorrow. His suggestion.

I have never had an evening date that's started so early. I normally meet them at 8.30. It could be a long evening...

Well I've just sent a sample of The Night Circus to my kindle

(Kindle is fab but I send myself free samples way faster than i can read them so I currently have sample chapters of 18 different books!)

Sometimes I read utter trash (shiny, easy reading 'women's fiction'), sometimes I read sci-fi/fantasy (Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn books were great), at the moment it's psychological thrillers (Gone Girl, The Poison Tree, Before I go to Sleep).

where are you meeting him, sponge?

dippy you are not a fool, you just let yourself be vulnerable which is no bad thing. hugs()

sponge Stop being so negative! (sorry, I mean that kindly, I'm not really shouting). Doesn't matter what's happened before. THIS date hasn't happened yet. Anyway, if he's a real bore you can always tell him your DC set the cat on fire and you have to rush home. [hwink]

yoga is right. It could be a long evening, or it could be great. Or it could be a very long evening where you move from coffee to cocktails, to a meal, to walking under the stars and discussing the meaning of life.

I'm a scientist, which means I read the 'woo' stuff with a bemused expression. But I do know that going into a situation with a negative expectation is likely to lead to a negative outcome. It's like the study they did on lucky people (and sorry everyone for talking about another science thingy) - they interviewed 20 people who described themselves beforehand as 'lucky' or 'unlucky' and asked them to do some arithmetic tests. They all got pretty much the same scores, but the real test was in the waiting room where they gave them all a newspaper with a half page advert saying 'if you see this advert in the waiting room, take it to the receptionist and she'll give you $50'.

Most of the lucky people saw it, and got the $50. None of the unlucky people did. But it was the same newspaper for all of them. It's about perception.

sponge - what Bantam said.

Yoga I'm at telling him the DC set the cat on fire. (disclaimer - I in no way condone cat cruelty) . It will be ok, a few drinks and I'm sure I'll be fine.

Bantam we're meeting in a pub near me, and doing a crawl of all the pubs in that road (5!). Or that's the plan...

I'm feeling very chipper as a) the policeman has text me and b) Arsenal have come back from 4-1 down to 4-4, now in extra time!

thanks bantam. It was mutual though, to start with at least, in fact had to ask him to back off! Just don't think he is ready. got quite cross on the phone in the end, just wasn't a good enough explanation. He couldn't explain. good he tried I know but ffs. :(

good luck with eloping plans sounds fun !

Bantam

sponge of course i don't condone cat cruelty either. i do however condone pretend cat cruelty to get out of a bad date...which of course you will not need to do!

sponge well a pub crawl is good. It gives you several opportunities to back out. Start off with something not too strong, and don't let the wine-goggles get to you (until you want them to)

On that note, I think I've worked out the best first-date plan - for me anyway. Starts with coffee, which lasts about an hour tops, at which point we can mutually walk away. If that goes okay we can move on to alcohol, which helps get the giggling going and increases the flirtation if we're both into it. And a meal if things are going really well with the booze added. So that's two opportunities to not go further with things, possibly with a walk from alcohol place to food place where there is a linking of arms type thing. And then the walk back to the taxi rank where there may be a kiss.

If I plan for all those possibilities in the one evening, it may turn out to be good. Just coffee, with no guard down at all on either side, I've found to be a bit stilted. Planning for drinks and dinner however may turn out to be a nightmare with the wrong person. I must remember the 'cat on fire' excuse though and find some app which will text me at a certain time if I set it up that way

thanks all. wine was already open! I did sense things were wrong but didn't want to believe it. Think you're spot in sponge and thanks yoga and snape. Glad i found you guys. I am vulnerable, hate playing games too you know? Have to learn and not let someone into my life (or my bed oops) so soon.

Am updating (hate deleted) my online profile - mental?

replacement therapy.

he has just responded to my text wishing me luck too. Feel sick.

Bantam - if I went out for coffee and THEN drinks I'd spend the whole night in the loo!

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&sa=N&biw=1096&bih=637&tbm=isch&tbnid=-BoI9k51QDD_qM:&imgrefurl=en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowing_a_raspberry&docid=daXYkG4_Pub87M&imgurl=upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8b/Blowing_a_raspberry.ogv/mid-Blowing_a_raspberry.ogv.jpg&w=567&h=416&ei=yVCQUOL2IcTL0QXxjoG4Bg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=485&vpy=148&dur=3621&hovh=192&hovw=262&tx=138&ty=124&sig=101766206096851642699&page=1&tbnh=129&tbnw=146&start=0&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,i:75" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">yoga

Ha!

Love the first date plan bantam :) like a plan with variable endings me!

oh I found the video. I have to save this. If only for responding on Match

Hi all.

Currently posting from my 4 poster bed....

Bloody knackered 11hr days plus 2.5 hrs social = tired me. 2 days to go.....

Feel a bit shite about pirate. And generally unloveable/ unattractive/ crap

Also appear to be the only single person on this course of 60 people :(

you people need to slow down! I live online cos I'm a sad lonely lone parent and I can't keep up.

I think I may have accidently agreed to a date type thing by accident this morning. One of the project volunteers (lapsed though) rang me. said he'd just passed his driving test and would I like to go indulge in our mutual hobby, give him a few tips. It's a male heavy sport and I'm good at it, know my stuff, so it's not an unusual offer. I say sure, why not.. All sounds perfectly normal eh?

Except now I'm playing it back and there was lots of "I'm single" type noises coming from him. erk!