Onwards and upwards we go, still sniggering at the sausage seeing the roll Dating thread 26

[lubeybooby]

New one!

All dating related gumph here.

Bantam, I agree with OneMoreGo.

I'm less inclined to be angry with the policeman - saying things (however filthy) to your face, in the heat of the moment, IMHO, is far more acceptable than what dickheadCuthbert did. But at the end of the day sponge it's down to what is acceptable to you.

I wonder what percentage of people doing OD are fuckwits? 80%? Obviously predominently men but there are definitely female fuckwits too.

Bantam I can't fault her and say she's boring or unpleasant or unattractive. Is this one of those who if you met her RL at work you would think, yes good looking woman but not consider? btw I feel your pain on the giggling

I'm so glad to have been some use and that you all get where I was coming from. If our situations are pretty much the same, and it's only perception that's different, then changing how you see it and see yourself can only be a good thing. I think I'm just so used to doing it now.

bantam - depsite lack of opportunity,I have pondered on the same issue...for example,I know I want a long term partnership with someone who gets me - for want of a better phrase.

However,realistically,this could take some time,during which it would make sense to keep options open.

I have never been very good at fwb situations,and would not want to hurt anyone intentionally.

But I haven't had sex for blimmin ages ,and am therefore likely to be fairly blinded by chemistry pretty easily...and wouldn't want to miss an opportunity...so how,then,to date fairly - to me and the men i have yet to date (!),balancing my needs,wants and long term hopes...maybe it will be clearer when i have actually met someone!

Yeah, it's not going to work as an LTR, that's just not on the cards. And she's nice, and obviously very into me, but I think not detached enough to be able to do FWB, and I really don't want to hurt her.

So, I'll call it off. What's the best advice to not hurt her? I can't blame no chemistry as there obviously is. I can't blame her giggle as that's just hurtful. And I don't want to make something up about not being in the right place in my life etc. maybe distance from her is the best way (an hours drive) ?

bant - a distance dumping is fair i think. painless and no blame. thats a kind way to do it.
say you had a great time and shes fab though.

cheers snape - ill have a look.

leuiji - the garden anaolgy is good...

ive had 25 messages on pof this morning. not one of them any good... i think im pretty much going go go into hibernation mode for the winter.. maybe something will turn up with the new job? ( i say, ever hopeful, least there is actual men working there, which is an improvement on the last job)

Hup Hup Lubey. You are so damned right. And thank you for the vibes from others.

Bantam - One is right.

O Sponge - its so tedious when they start that shite. They look like idots. Ive had the same so many times. Ive had men who only talked about sex phone me,. And I mean the first question was "when did you last have sex" : men who only talk about sex on text after luring me in with petty small talk. "send me a naked picture". I feel like its an infrigement of my privacy and once it starts, Im off.
Dump them all. And you do it to get the last word in.

Snape: My friend has a habit of being utterly negative to me sometimes. I get no emotional support from the relationship and if I get into a mindset and I want to talk all I get is "you are being silly/stupid" thinking/talking like that.
Distance---being kept

Snape: How are things as you will have spaces in your week that were previously filled by PM? You are so savvy - SNAPE rocks!

Thinking about it...I might answer a question with a question, be a bit indecisive but I have made my way in this life. I am kind, thoughtful, Ive got through serious illness, death of a parent and dreadful times. I have amazing friends, health and it will be ok.

Watch: I need to do the Durkan as well. The Cheese Durkan. Had some mozzerella last night and no taste aside, it was lovely.

Watch - sorry to hear you are feeling low. You did the right thing about the Pirate, you know that, but it's still hard and sad especially when things had seemed so promising. The time of year doesn't help either.

Sponge sorry too to hear about the bloke turning out to be a tit. Why oh why do they do stuff like that????

I am feeling a bit bleak and fed up today too. Back at work after a couple of days off with the children, which doesn't help, but I am getting worried about man things too. Worst thing is I can't talk about it on here as a lot of it is stuff that's personal to him and it wouldn't be right, but it's probably not going to be good, not necessarily for "us" as in me-and-him, just for him in general and I think that might have a real impact on everything else in his life. He has gone incommunicado yesterday and today in the build-up to a major event (happening now) which just makes things worse. He told me he didn't want to chat as he was just too emotional about it all which is fair enough, but it makes me feel a bit useless. I sent him an encouraging/supportive but not gushy message last night and a short one this morning saying I'd got everything crossed for him and stay strong, but am not going to send anything else now as I don't want him to feel like I'm harrassing him. Don't know how to play this at all. And probably no-one on here can help as you've not the faintest idea what I'm on about. Feel a bit like crying.

western, if you want to pm me you can......
it sounds like its all very difficult and a hard time for him. i dont think you can do any more than what you are doing really. You are being there and supportive, and thats great.

Oh Western...its horrible, a bit like being on a sideline not knowing what will happen next and the non communicado is horrid. You just have to try and trust that he will get in touch and put it out of your head. You have done your bit, offered support, been in touch. Your "job" is done.
Crying is ok...15 mins of condensed crying!

Western - I think all you can do right now is just wait. When he does get in touch and tell you what's happened and how he's feeling you'll be able to tell what kind of support you can offer. Not easy.

Western, feel free to PM me as well if you like. I have A LOT of this going on with BC at times. It's very frustrating and difficult.

I'm filling my Voldemort time with books - I have just worked out that my iPad is a kindle. I'm so dull sometimes! Going to take DD to work early and have a good charity shop scavenge and I might knit myself a shawl.

Just got a generic email from swanky gym saying I can add a friend to my expired membership for 12 days for a fiver. Voldie would have got the same email, so the impact of snapelessness will be settling in. I am everywhere Good. Today is a week since we last exchanged texts. All is well.

scatty. I had one of those friends, it was all me, me, me. If I ever changed the conversation from him, him, him, he managed to steer it back to himself or just ignore the conversation-change and carry on about him and his problems. I moved away and the friendship is far more geographically and emotionally distant now. Life is far too short for energy vampires, isn't it.... We should surround ourselves with love and kindness...sometimes that is very difficult indeed(!) but tough love applies to yourself as well as others. :)

bant. Good call. That is the right thing to do, I think. Brownie point! :)

western. You've let him know he is supported. If he is emotionally withdrawing a little as his way of coping with events outside of your relationship, then just let him be. If he won't accept your support, there is little you can do. You've done what you can.

Thanks so much for your messages and support. Sorry don't feel I can even PM about this as I would feel guilty, it's very personal stuff for him, sorry. Which makes it worse!! Plus I am at that funny in-between stage with him, not just a date or two, but not a proper full-fledged relationship, so it's really hard to judge. And I really don't want him to feel that I'm hounding him if he wants to go off and lick his wounds for a while, but then again I can't see how it's so difficult to send a text . . . Aaargh.

snape thanks for the brownie point. How many do I need for the toasted sandwich maker?

Western, as others have said, you've done what you can. It's very difficult to see someone you care for going through someone difficult and MIT wanting to talk about it, but some people close themselves off in times of adversity, I know I have in the past. As long as he knows you care and are there when he's ready, that's the best. Being seen as pestering (which I know you aren't) can lead to an explosion of misdirected anger at a convenient target (I know I've been on the receiving end of that too)

Good luck

Western Could you not send a "Thinking of you and hope things are well/turn out for the best. Here when/if you need me" (Delete as applicable obvs!)
And what Snape said ^^

Well he's just texted to say he's on his way home and it's okay. Will find out more later but at least it's "okay" ...

Oh That's hopeful at least. Good that he texted you too.

Western hope all is ok with your man, glad you heard from him.

Well, date is on for Monday. He seems very keen, I am very nervous! He was lovely on the phone though so think he will put me at ease when we meet.

waves to everyone

Glad it's ok western

bant. One hundred million.

Well fwb just dumped me by text, didn't have the balls to come over tomorrow morning and do it in person, grr.

Plan for tonight is to drink lots of wine and sulk.

Oh Pixie what a cowardly shit. Sad and sorry excuse for a man to do something like that.

Wine, chocolate, hot bath, DVD, talking on here - whatever will cheer you up a bit. Really for you