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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hat wars and soup-er dates, let the sausage see the roll... The Online Dating Thread reaches 25!

999 replies

Yogagirl17 · 23/10/2012 16:17

Erm...hope nobody minds?

OP posts:
TimeForMeAndDD · 29/10/2012 20:33

Yeah for woo Sponge!! Smile I am believing in it too! And something VERY lovely has happened to me too Wink

Now, go and place your cosmic order! Grin

TimeForMeAndDD · 29/10/2012 20:35

Yes, you do deserve it Snape! We all deserve it. So there. Smile

Yogagirl17 · 29/10/2012 20:35

WTF is wrong with married men? [hangry]

Yay sponge Grin

snape - did you ask for notebook back? If not, I can't imagine that he would possibly return it. He will keep it because he loves the idea that you love him. How are you holding up?

OP posts:
Yogagirl17 · 29/10/2012 20:36

I have place two cosmic orders...is that allowed?

OP posts:
TimeForMeAndDD · 29/10/2012 20:40

I have 2 too Yoga and one of them has come true, right down to the actual date!

bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 20:45

we did try to point out that you're awesome, sponge.. Sometimes you have to trust the MN bosom.

MadameOvary · 29/10/2012 20:46

Watch Sorry to hear about the outcome but good for you for being so decisive. IMHO one of the key factors required to do OD is being able to pay attention to your own needs, so if sex is important, then it's a huge deal, no matter how smart/kind/affectionate/attractive they.
We're all capable of attracting partners, but not at any price.
Snape that sounds fantastic. I do think certain divination methods (Tarot/Runes) are good at telling you what you need to hear (as distinct from what you want to hear) and helping you make sense of scary/confusing times.
My favourite rune is Gebo, and I have always thought of this interpretation as a relationship ideal:

Drawing this Rune is an indication that union, uniting or partnership in some form is at hand. But you are put on notice not to collapse yourself into that union. For true partnership can only be achieved by separate and whole beings who retain their separateness even in unity and uniting. Remember to let the winds of Heaven dance between you.

Western Glad to hear things are going well.

Fate Just you keep telling yourself that it's all casual. Mmm-Hmm.

Sorry to those I've missed out. Am beyond tired as sneaked DP into the house last night, which was lovely but DD kept waking up so I got in beside her and then couldnt get back to sleep.
DP had the day off and spent it with us. We had breakfast after I'd dropped DD off at nursery and then picked her up and took her to soft play, then shops, then back to mine for some food. He was great with DD and I can't believe how relaxed I am with him. He says he feels like the luckiest guy in the world and that he keeps wanting to pinch himself.

Um, I am definitely not OD any more and assuming this goes well I don't want to make you all vomit with repeated bulletins so hope I'm still allowed on the thread

bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 20:46

and more importantly snape have you planned out the artistic rendering of 'Let the sausage see the roll' yet?

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 20:47

I'm not bad actually today, I'm processing (which involves a degree of minutely attempting to 'excuse' or at least understand his behaviour) but I'm still angry at his behaviour and that's allowed. I'm not angry that he doesn't love me, because if I was generally angry at people being somewhat stupid, I'd have had a heart attack 20 years ago... I'm angry that his anger at himself is misdirected at me. I think the vaguely 'normal' part of him is slightly flattered (?!) but that is squashed by the emotionally stilted, stupidly low-self-esteem side that wants to hit out that someone loved him. (Note past tense) because he thinks he isn't worthy of love.

But then, I don't have to understand him' do I? My understanding has to be directed at myself. The whole thing sucks. Meh.

bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 20:51

yeah. All that may be true. But I still think he's a tit

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 20:51

madameO. You HAVE to stay! You haven't been here all that long and I really appreciate your input and support. I'm so pleased all manner of things is well.

Your rune made me smile. Plenty of space for 'winds of heaven' to dance between voldie and I! Wink

I shall find time to render the roll and the sausage for you lovely bunch of folk...and then I'll stick it on cafe press & we can all get the t-shirt.

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 20:52
bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 20:56

boundaries firmly in place sweetie. Life is complicated enough with SexyNurse, Safrican and SurreyGirl. Adding someone else whose name begins with 'S' would just make life even more complex :)

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 21:00

Aah, but thats good, because then you could cover your confusion with 'so SSssssssss shit what one is it again? umm.... Snape? Yes, snape! Cocktails?!'

:p

bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 21:04

you're always welcome for cocktails anyway if you're down my way. I just did my weekly shop and decided to pick up a bunch of limes and some mint so I can master my home-made mojitos. Muuuuch cheaper than london prices

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 21:09

I still cant quite believe you spunked away £150 on dinner and drinks in London. Next time you feel the need to court a young lady in the smoke, do ask us for the cheapest deals. One of my best dates was with the prof, walking down south bank, £2 for a pint of warm cider and £7 a head in a Thai cafe. First kiss under the millennium wheel. Terribly romantic, but more importantly he didn't feel the need to attempt to impress me with 'stuff' (not a criticism, honest, but I would be uneasy that someone spent that... (Feminista!)

putthelimeinthecoconut · 29/10/2012 21:11

Hi guys, can I join back in? My word this thread moves fast, had a few busy days at work now struggling to catch up!

snape I know you don't know me and I'm not a regular on here but I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about pm and the notebook. I hope you find someone you can make a bigger and better notebook for who will really appreciate it and you. You come across as a really lovely person.

yoga I really hope you're wrong about the men around Glasgow, I'm near there!

I've been contemplating getting back with my ex who I may have accidentally slept with when he came to return my books but as of tonight that seems to be offically over Sad

have been exchanging messages with a super cute POF guy though Smile but I don't think it's going anywhere...god this dating game is hard!

OhWesternWind · 29/10/2012 21:21

Hi Lime - well, I don't know anything about your ex, but getting back with them as a general class doesn't seem to work very well . . . If it was bad enough to split over, it's bad enough to stay split. It can be a bit of a boost to the ego to get messaging with someone nice even if it doesn't go anywhere. I found it quite addictive, have been cold turkey off PoF for nearly three weeks now - which has freed up quite a bit of time for me, must have wasted hours on there! Treat it all as fun as much as you can, and if it's seeming too hard then give it a break for a while, maybe?

bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 21:22

snape I honestly had no idea it was going to be anywhere near that much. I met Safrican for drinks, we wandered round near Liverpool street to find somewhere for a bite to eat, in the pissing rain, and couldn't find anywhere. So I said - right we'll eat at the first place we find on the left, and it turned out to be a lift up to the 39th floor with a sushi and cocktail bar. Then we talked, and ate, and when the bill came it was kind of 'gumph'. But it was my suggestion, so I paid. I wasn't trying to show off, if I was I still would've found somewhere cheaper

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 21:23

Thanks lime. That's really very sweet of you to take the time to say so. :)

I'm not that nice. I'm rather manipulative and calculating actually and a bit too clever for my own good sometimes.... but I'm very strong, focused, honest and I have a huge capacity for love and hope, even though I have been treated like trash in the past... Hmm and that's a good thing. Swallow-hearts fly!!!

(Sorry about the ex btw...)

snapespeare · 29/10/2012 21:27

I know bantam. But a hunner and fifty knicker!!!!!

Yogagirl17 · 29/10/2012 21:29

Uh oh - who's thought of a new thread title??

OP posts:
bantamrooster · 29/10/2012 21:30

ooh quick new thread name. Cute Nurses, Posh Boys and Runic interpretations..?

Pixiebelle123 · 29/10/2012 21:31

Go Sponge, hope the policeman turns out to be a good one!

I'm exchanging messages with a cute guy on match, don't know much about him yet but he ticks the initial boxes; he looks good, can string a sentence together without using text speak and hasn't asked if he can email me any dodgy pics.

But my heart just isn't in it at the moment, I'm totally consumed by what's going to happen this Sat when fwb comes to visit. I'm convinced he's going to tell me he doesn't want a relationship and the anxiety is driving me slightly demented! I really want to text or phone him again but I know I'll scare him off if I do. But at least I have learnt a valuable lesson from this, I cannot sleep with men and not develop feelings for them.

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